Locked Down

This Dude’s Year-Long Celibacy Vow Just Hit The Halfway Point


Tom Young writes for The Washington Post. Tom Young decided to go without sex for an entire year and write all about it.

We all know this is going to lead to some amazingly perceptive thoughts on life/gay sex/etc., but generally people give up around the 40 day mark, so good on him for going the full monty.

Related: Man Vows One Year Of Celibacy In Effort To “Reevaluate” His Life And “Renew” His Sense Of Well-Being

Of course, no piece like this is complete without mentioning the apps:

Every buzz represented a feeling of hope that I could be forming a real connection with someone in my community, both gay and geographic. Although I’m able to handle certain elements of my libido on my own, porn and hand lotion don’t make you feel happy or connected — or make you breakfast in the morning.

Recently, I rejoined Tinder and started going out to the gay bars again. On one of these raucous nights, while watching my friends scour the room and sift through Grindr on their phones, I quietly realized I had reached my six-month mark of abstinence. And I began to wonder — not for the first time — if celibacy was worth it.

People are also hooking up and making each other feel awful via Snapchat now:

…my friend and I were looking through his Snapchats: I glimpsed about 10 seconds of a guy laying seductively on a bed, a caption beckoning my friend to join him for another roll in the hay. He typed a quick, emotionless response before moving on to the next snap, appearing to forget all about the guy in his phone.

Seeing his reaction to that Snapchat, I recognized a piece of me that I didn’t like. I remembered when I used to throw myself at guys who were only interested in me as a passing thrill. And I remembered how I hate that feeling, how it keeps me up at night. I’ve come to learn that I am attracted to guys who are emotionally unavailable or simply seeking a quick bang.

If this is somehow revelatory for you, there’s a lot more to get into. He even manages to weave Orlando and the ban on gay blood donors in for good measure… so there’s that.

We’ll see you in six months, Tom!

Related: Male Chastity Devices Now Available In Three Great Finishes