Dumb-Cluck Huckabee Says Gay Ban Protects Boy Scouts From Being Molested

Each week Queerty picks one blowhard, hypocrite, airhead, sanctimonious prick or other enemy of all that is queer to be the Douche of the Week.

Have a nominee for DOTW? E-mail it to us at [email protected].

GLAAD better add another name to its Commenter Accountability Project: This week Fox News host Mike Huckabee praised the Boy Scouts of America for upholding its policy of discriminating against gay members and leaders because it protects young boys from child molesters.

On his radio show Wednesday, the former presidential candidate took a call from a man who claimed he had been sexually abused by Scout leaders as a boy.

“I believe that homosexuals try to target groups like that to try to get a leadership area in,” the man said. “If there hadn’t been a homosexual in my troop, I wouldn’t have been traumatized for about three years.”

The politico-turned-pundit recalled that troop leaders had done the “same thing” when he was a scout. “You know, I think if anybody wants to argue about this case, they need to hear your story,” Huckabee said to his caller. “And I thank you for having the candor to share it with us. And again, you make us all understand why a decision that, at least, I think was the right one.”

We suppose we should make the caller a DOTW as well, but he’s just a numbnuts with a telephone and 15 minutes to kill. Huckabee is the host and should’ve disabused him of the idea that a gay scout would be like  John Wayne Gacy with a yellow bandana.

But putting that aside, look at Huckabee’s logic for a minute: The Boy Scout’s ban on gays is there to prevent homosexuals from molesting boys. The ban was in effect when Huck was a scout and witnessed (or was subject to) molestation.

Ergo, the ban doesn’t work. (Also, it doesn’t explain why lesbians like Jennifer Tyrrell are barred as well.)

Or we can use our own logic and say that molesters and gay people are two different things, and that creating a veil of secrecy and lies only abets people eager to abuse children.

All together now: what a douche!

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  • Chad

    Dear Huck,

    You are thinking of the Catholic church.

  • Dave

    I just watched the South Park rerun about Big Gay Al leading a Boy Scout Troop in their city. They let go of Al for being gay, and the Ex Marine straight man that took over was the one that actually took nude pics of the boys. It is so funny, but sad because it is true as well. Watch it if you need to laugh at absudity.

  • Mark

    lol huck is so stupid – – if memory serves, 90% of the molesters of boys are straight – -sheesh buck – get a grip

  • Cam

    Huckabee should be much more worried about kids being protected from his son. Look what HE did when HE was a camp counselor. He tortured and killed dogs.

  • LittIe,Kiwi

    AMEN CAM! I was gonna post that! Yup, good old straight man raised his cross-eyed straight son, and the kid turned out to be a ……dog-torturing animal killer?

    Yay. At least he doesn’t kiss boys though, eh? *puke*

  • brad

    What a miserable excuse for a human being! Fuckwit!

  • Jakey

    @Dave: Ha ha, that was the first thing I thought of when reading this. You know your talking point is garbage when South Park parodied it ELEVEN YEARS AGO.

  • J Smith

    Who is going to protect those boys from straight men and clergy who just happen to be pedophiles as 92.5% of all Pediphiles are straight men.

  • J Smith

    Who is going to protect those boys from straight men and clergy who just happen to be pedophiles as 92.5% of all Pedophiles are straight men.

  • dvlaries

    Every time Huckabee outs with anything that sounds like advice for other people, I zone right back to that “family portrait” going around about a half dozen years ago, including his two grotesquely obese sons. Add in David’s animal torture and trying to sneak a loaded gun onto a plane, and the portrait of neglectful or outright fucked-up parenting is so clear, you’re almost impressed at the gall this guy can summon proffering opinions at all.

  • Danny

    The ban silences victims of sexual assault by threatening to oust victims from their friends if they tell; any law enforcement professional will tell you that the overwhelming majority of molesters and rapists self identify as heterosexual in their adult relationships regardless of the gender of their victims.

    Huckabee should know better – he’s a religious minister – the profession most likely to abuse children.

  • Danny

    The ban is a way for the hetero molesters to target gay children for abuse; gay children are particularly vulnerable to hetero molesters. It is pathetic. The largest groups that attack the rights of gay children are the groups with the largest number of people who abuse children – Mormons and Roman Catholics – the two groups that control the Boy Scouts. GOP seems to be Group Of Pedophiles anymore trying to scapegoat gay people while doing nothing to actually protect children. It is evil.

  • LadyL

    @Cam: @dvlaries: Yeah, and knowing that you have to wonder what else David may torture and kill someday, since serial killers reportedly begin by torturing and killing pets and strays before moving on to human beings…
    With people like Huckabee I think the hypocrisy is what gets me the most. Even if you could make a case for a gay man molesting children (and realistically you could, since technically an LGBT person is as capable of being totally f*cked up as any hetero), where is the logic or fairness or rationality in tarring every single gay person with that brush? Do straight men expect as a group to be judged by the deviance and criminality of pedophiles who target little girls? Do they expect to be judged by the likes of Ted Bundy, or Henry Lee Lucas, or Green River killer Gary Ridgeway?

  • LadyL

    Meant “judged by the behavior” of the likes of Ted Bundy and etc.

  • Jerry12

    Dear Mr Huckabee: You should have done some research on this matter before you opened you bird brain with your stupid comment. When I was a Boy Scout, not only was our Scout Master a known Homosexual, but we had a patrol for us “Queers”, plus three other Patrols of Straits. At the County Scout Summer Camp, only the 20 something year old Life Guards wore bathing suits; all of the 100 or so of us were STARK NAKED. Naturally, only the oldest would have had any Sexual activity (You must remember how old YOU were before your first climax); the rest of us may have done some playing around with each other, (Just as some of the “Straits” did.) but we were generally no different than the “Straits”.

    Just to let you know, I grew up in a State that did NOT have to give up a right to have “Multiple Wives” in order to be a part of the United States.

  • Shannon1981

    Yup, what a douche!

    Are we surprised?

  • Fred

    Baden Powel was a notorious pedo. He loved boys.

  • Mk ultra

    Huckabee basically just said gays are pedophiles.
    The fact is Huckabee himself is most likely a pedophile.
    I mean, his animal torturer and killer son had to get that sociopathy from somewhere.

  • junjun

    I you yourself are acting and giving motive to be seduced, then the mind of the molesters is 100% working that you agree the things to happen. If you don’t want things to happen? Why you allow the molesters doing it to you. Why you did not react in the first place.NO accusing abuse if you yourself allow it. Boy-scouts are not allowed loitering around the jamboree or camping areas without buddy all the time.

  • Charlie

    I’m not saying we arr perfect or anything but isn’t it usually the married guys who molest kids? Do we have lots of evidence of out gay dudes raping the young? Ok NAMBLA I suppose I need to retract my statement.

  • Jeff

    Mike Huckabee is a fat nobody!!!

  • salem123

    my roomate’s aunt makes $83/hr on the laptop. She has been without work for 8 months but last month her pay was $8682 just working on the laptop for a few hours. Read more on this site…NUTTYRich D ot c o m

  • Tommy

    It’s laughable he said this after the whole Penn State/Jerry Sandusky scandal. Doesn’t he watch the news? Most child abusers of boys don’t identify as gay in the traditional sense. Either they don’t have relationships with adults at all, just children or they have relationships with adult women, not adult men.

  • EGO

    Perhaps Mike Huckabee should apply the same logic to himself: If gay people are pedophiles then straight people are sexual predators.

    Actually, statistics show that most pedophiles are straight.

    Seriously, for those who are misinformed about gay people, either come up to modern times and learn who we are or if you prefer to think in the dark ages, keep you mouths shut.

  • Dan

    Huckabee is the worst kind of Christian homophobe. He has a mask of joviality and good nature, while he spews venom against us LGBT folks. He’s one nasty dude!

  • junjun

    Pretending masculine image man is more likely to criticize those LGBT. Because, deep inside them, they’re feminine they can’t express. Example: A thief hates the same thief.

  • James M. Martin

    What can you expect of a goofball who insists that the United States Constitution “should be interpreted by Christian principles.” Pssst, with Scalia et al. forming the New Majority, it already is. Gomer Shuckabee is a disgrace to the species.

  • Ewan

    What a total chode.

  • Mike H

    The first time I ever had gay sex was at Boy Scout Camp. I liked it so much I’m still gay after 30 years. Why take that away from other boys/men?

  • robbie

    Should we start a ‘Let’s take a Trip down Memory Lane’ movement, simply to assist all Fox presenters, their guests and so-called celebrities in sharpening their faculty of recall?
    What I mean, is, why not remind all who appear on Fox that if they continue to distort the truth and/or choose to be selective in the prejudices they espouse, just remind them that all of their known family scandals relating to all of Fox’s people will come back to haunt them IF they broadcast any untruth or unfair distortion while practising hypocracy.
    The Web would be a useful starting point, if for example, justice for the famous was bought and paid for, in order to gag the truth.
    And there are many other outlets in today’s technological age, which can be used to publish while avoiding poisoned litigation.
    Simply respecting truth about your own situation before making a living on the prejudices of others, might be a good start for the Huckabee’s of the Celebrity and Media world.


    Time to ban “Christianity” from the USA!!.

  • Rich

    Among predatory sexual deviates, irrespective of the sex of the victim, heterosexuals predominate; thus, children are unlikely to be molested by identifiably gay or lesbian individuals. Using questionable data regarding numbers of homosexuals in the general population, Freund and Watson, while indicating, “the resulting proportion of true pedophiles among persons with a homosexual erotic development is greater than that in persons who develop heterosexually.” they go on to say, “This of course, would not indicate that androphilic [homosexual] males have a greater propensity to offend against children.”
    [email protected]

  • Mr-DJ

    (DJ) – By his logic, Huchakbee should not be able to hold any position of authority over girls then, because since females are the object of his attraction, he cannot be trusted to NOT molest them. He should not teach Sunday School, or be in his daughters’ / granddaughters’ presence without the mother being in the room, etc… You get the picture.

  • starshipcaptain

    As someone who was molested at age 2 by a grandmotherly babysitter, I would disagree with Huck.

  • charlie clark

    mr huchabbee will support anyone who will let him keep his name before the public…… and in this case if the scouts can get the scouts the members of the clergy might…that is his profession i guess….. ok nasty, but is huchakbee honest, and trustworthy????? he gets whathe preaches….

  • 1Dartagnon1

    Huckabee conveniently leaves out the fact that the majority of molestations is done by Straight, heterosexual adults … who will save the kids from them? It must be tough when you see the writing on the wall and you have to stoop to these ridiculous levels to get attention. Shame on you Mr. Huckabee, we expected better of you. But then, u r a Republican after all aren’t you?

  • Norris Nordin

    Love that pic of Huckabee. If any thought ever entered the empty space between his ears, it would surely ricochet for hours. Maybe that is why he is hard of hearing.

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