Dustin Lance Black Will Bring ‘Barefoot Bandit’ to The Big Screen

Alleged plane and car stealing home burglar Colton Harris-Moor will land in movie theaters, and 20th Century Fox has hired Milk‘s Oscar-winning screenwriter Dustin Lance Black to create the script.

David Gordon Green, of Pineapple Express, will direct the project, which is based on Bob Friel’s book proposal Taking Flight: The Hunt for a Young Outlaw, launched after his Outside magazine profile (which was published before Harris-Moor, aka the “barefoot bandit,” was arrested in the Bahamas on July 11.)

Undoubtedly Black will make use of Harris-Moor’s reportedly miserable childhood, where he allegedly faced verbal and physical abuse from his mother and bullied other kids in school (that he barely attended). In my head the film will open with a close up shot of “a hand-painted sign at the end of [his mother’s] wooded driveway [that] warns: ‘If you go past this sign you will be shot.'”

You’re encouraged to keep the “bareback-barefoot” quips to a minimum.