Dynasty season one and season two are both now available on DVD. Commemorating these distinguished collections, Petulant Rumbling has listed the life lessons he learned from the classic sudster, including,
When accessorizing, more is better and furs are mandatory regardless of season; [being] dragged miles by a horse may cause a miscarriage, but hair will remain perfectly coiffed; In a fit of anger, never start a shoving match with your son’s homosexual lover as death will ensue. Of course, only homosexuals die. So if straight, you are safe.
Ultimate life lesson: “Always be wary of shotgun-wielding women dressed in red.” If they’re wearing any other color, you’re fine. Red? Run for your little gay life.