have the decency

Ed O’Neill: Letting the Gays Kiss Would Turn Modern Family ‘Into a Sort of Porngraphy’

Oh, that’s so stupid. Who cares? When I hear that, it’s half amusing, half annoying. First of all, they’re the most conservative family of the three. Mitchell is a lawyer, and Cameron is a stay-at-home mom with a baby. It’s much, much better to allow people to use their imaginations when they want to, in that regard. Otherwise, it turns into a sort of pornography. If people want to be titillated or shocked or, “Oh, wow, they’re actually kissing,” I mean, who cares? The format is, they live together. We assume they have sex. I don’t think we need to see it beginning or ending. Who cares? To me, it’s boring. Gloria and I haven’t done any making out in the first 24 shows.

—Ed O’Neill, the actor who plays grandpa Jay on ABC’s Modern Family, on THE PDA SCANDAL OF THE CENTURY [via]

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40 Comments

  • jason

    What a fuckwit this Ed O’Neil is! No-one is saying that the gay male couple has to fuck in front of the camera. All we are saying is that comparable romantic activities should not be discriminated against on the basis of sexual orientation. This means that if the straights kiss, we gays ought to be able to kiss too.

    By the way, I’ve noticed Ed O’Neils beliefs in a lot of homophobic points of view. The homophobes try to paint a mere kiss or hand-holding between men as being “pornographic”. Then they try to bring in the issue of explicit sex between the men, which, to my knowledge, has never been allowed on American free-to-air TV anyway, straight or gay.

    Note the shifting argument of homophobes. Ed O’Neil is one such creep.

  • TampaZeke

    I don’t watch the show but I’m assuming that “Cameron” is one half of the gay couple? So why is O’Neil referring to this character as a “stay at home mom”?

    I find this offensive both as a gay man and as a work at home father. Is O’Neil feminizing Cameron because he thinks gay men are women or because he thinks stay at home fathers are women/mothers?

  • Cam

    Once again, any expression from gays is interpreted as “Pornography” or “Making Out”. He and Gloria have absolutly kissed on the cheek. But this is not the first time that the hollywood defense has been that a gay kiss is eqivilent to them having sex on camera.

    It’s a shame, I liked this show, but with comments like that, I can’t in good concious watch it.

  • Cam

    Get ready for a bunch of screenames we’ve never seen before pretending to be gay and attacking anybody who is opposed to Ed O’Neils statement or just clicking repeatedly on the “Unlike” buttons.

  • PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS

    Unfortunately Grandpa Jay pulled an Al Bundy……………..

  • Yet Another

    @Cam:

    Cam, hopefully you’ve seen my name before and there are no words to express how gay I am. Regardless, I’m not going to attack anyone. I will however like to say that in context, the phrase Queerty so cheaply pulled out for a headline is not near as offensive.

    Yes, it was unpleasent for me to see gay affection referred to in the same thought as pornography, but what I took from the quote the most was that its pornographic for people to be seeking titilation. And I agree. I don’t think we should be looking for displays of affection for the purpose of arousal. But I know that’s not what this is about.

    For the most part, I think we want to see it as acknowledgement that it exists and it’s NOT pornographic. We don’t want to be demeaned by omission. And I believe we’re right. I just think that as an older probably heterosexual man Ed Oneil really misses the point because like any member of a majority class, he has no idea of the experiences of the minority, in this case homosexuals.

  • Bill

    Ed O’Neil is clearly over 50.

    And as such, like almost everyone else over 50, has been ruined by bad parenting and silly religious superstitions.

  • Cam

    @Bill: LOL!!!!!!!!

  • scott ny'er

    I also like how he said “and Cameron is a stay-at-home mom with a baby”. He’s a stay at home DAD. I think in Ed’s mind, woman stay at home, men go to work. Or woman go to work and take care of the house and men just go to work. It seems that Ed is not far off from the Al Bundy character.

    He’s a jerk and I’m glad I don’t watch this show.

  • JamesStone

    @Bill: Bill..you hit the nail on the head!! Ed O’Neil grew up in Youngstown, OH. (Very close to where I live.) I am sure he was raised Catholic in an Irish immigrant part of town. Youngstown was a very blue collar rough city in his day. He is a product of his environment.
    I think that for gay rights and acceptance to advance we will have to wait for that generation (and boy do they VOTE!) to die off..

  • Lamar

    I fail to see how having the two men on TV kiss is comparable to pornography. His let’s leave things to the imagination excuse doesn’t work either because most shows with gays have them kiss at least one time on screen and the same with opposite sex couples and the shows aren’t deemed pornographic or criticized for it. Just let the guys kiss, it’s not like gays are asking for anything difficult to pull off

  • Lamar

    I fail to see how having the two men on TV kiss is comparable to pornography. His let’s leave things to the imagination excuse doesn’t work either because most shows with gays have them kiss at least one time on screen and the same with opposite sex couples and the shows aren’t deemed pornographic or criticized for it. Just let the guys kiss, it’s not like gays are asking for anything difficult to pull off.

  • Cam

    @Lamar: said..

    No. 11 · Lamar
    I fail to see how having the two men on TV kiss is comparable to pornography.
    _________________

    Exactly!! I mean give me a break, remember the friends episode where Monica and Chandler woke up in bed together after having sex for the first time? If a platonic kiss on the cheek is akin to porn, then what the heck is THAT?!

  • RomanHans

    This is getting to be a pattern: Producers assure us their double-standards aren’t homophobic, and later we discover they sure as hell are. If a kiss on the cheek is sexual, Mr. O’Neill, I know fifty guys who’ve done your mom.

  • Mr. Enemabag Jones

    What an asshole. Gloria and Jay have most certainly kissed on the show. Once again, anti-gay actors are twisting our words around, and when we are asking for something as simple as a peck on the cheek, they claim we want to see full penetration.

    I am done with this show, and have emailed ABC to let them know why.

  • Jaroslaw

    I watched some Turner Classic Movies today and in between there were “commercials” for upcoming movies. One of them was Gilda, starring Rita Hayworth. At one point the narrator said “men hungered for her” and she was having a fight with her husband and said “now you know you married a wh____” but he slapped her before she could get the words out.

    I think this movie was from the late 40’s or early 50’s. So if they could be so “erotic” at that time, a simple Gay kiss in a committed relationship is porn 60 years later? Absurd!

  • fredo777

    Yawn. I agree with the earlier commenter about how his one quote was pulled to make the statement more offensive than it actually was. I also happen to agree with Ed in the sense that if people want to see characters (gay or otherwise) mack for their own titillation, it is in a way pornographic. “Ooh, ooh. Kiss!” And so forth.

    Move along, folks. Nothin’ to see here. If anyone is seriously vowing never to watch the show again over this, good riddance.

  • jason

    I think that, within the next few days, Ed O’Neils publicist might get Ed to issue an apology of sorts with the key words “I have gay friends”. Note the “I have gay friends” line, the favorite line of vile Hollywood publicists.

  • JamesStone

    @jason: I hear you!! Ya..Sarah Palin has gay friends too…

  • B

    In No 1, Jason wrote, “The homophobes try to paint a mere kiss or hand-holding between men as being ‘pornographic’.”

    I bet that is because of what a penile plesmograph would show if they [the homophobes] were hooked up to such devices while watching some kissing or hand-holding.

  • Mr. Enemabag Jones

    @fredo777:

    I also happen to agree with Ed in the sense that if people want to see characters (gay or otherwise) mack for their own titillation, it is in a way pornographic.

    If you consider a peck on the cheek, or lips–something most of the characters on the show have done, including two of the kids–“macking”, then you must be reading Queerty from inside a convent. I’m surprised you let go of your pearls long enough to type a comment.

    Move along, folks. Nothin’ to see here.

    That sums up every comment you’ve ever written here, fredo.

  • MickW

    Who cares, I don’t watch the show because there are no black people on the show….come on people it’s 2010…..put some black people on your shows.

  • fredo777

    @Mr. Enemabag Jones: “Move along, folks. Nothin’ to see here.

    That sums up every comment you’ve ever written here, fredo.”

    So, you’ve admittedly read every comment I’ve ever written here? There have been many, btw. It’s nice to know that I have a fan. Sorry, not up to signing autographs right now, though. Maybe later.

  • D-lite

    He actually kind of has a point no one flips out over the fact that his character and Gloria haven’t made out. In fact come to think of it I don’t recall many characters kissing on the show to begin with. I’m going to say this is a non issue that some people are trying to blow up.

  • Jimmi

    And I am done with this show.

  • Hilarious

    @MickW: So true. A show called Modern Family doesn’t even include modern reality. Everyone in America is not white and it’s really time ABC of all networks realized that.

    It’s sad when NBC shows more people of color than ABC. In fact I’ve started watching NBC shows over the past few years and ABC has slowly been dropping off my DVR show by show.

    Even the CW has more diversity…now that’s sad.

  • thedarkchariot

    Argh! You wanna talk “pornography”? I’ve been following this series since episode 1. Can we revisit the Valentine’s Day episode? Claire and Phil roleplay as a business man and a hooker. Claire gives Phil her panties in public. Claire strips down naked under a trenchcoat. Two women push up against each other and change coats. If that is not “pornography”, I don’t know what is.

    What did Cam and Mitchell do in the Valentine’s Day episode? Babysit Manny (who confronted his crush, so even he got some action). I don’t think its even been remotely suggested that Mitchell and Cam have sex. Whereas, in the first episode Phil asks Claire where the baby oil is.

    Need I go on? Because I can. We obviously have the Hawaii episode where they hug instead of kissing (pictured above).

    Goddamit. Just admit that there is a double standard, apologize that you are still in the early into the series, and reassure the gay audience that you are on their side. You don’t have to be such an asshole, Modern Family.

  • Dan

    Remember screennames on Queerty are not unique – more than one person can use the same screenname.

  • Get Equal R @ Least Doing Something (John from England)

    @Mr. Enemabag Jones:

    “If you consider a peck on the cheek, or lips–something most of the characters on the show have done, including two of the kids–”macking”, then you must be reading Queerty from inside a convent. I’m surprised you let go of your pearls long enough to type a comment.”

    LOL!! You made me cry!

    “I’m surprised you let go of your pearls long enough to type a comment”

    Lol!! Ahh, too funny! I know! I was like wtf is ‘fredo’ talking about???

  • Cam

    No. 24 · D-lite
    He actually kind of has a point no one flips out over the fact that his character and Gloria haven’t made out. In fact come to think of it I don’t recall many characters kissing on the show to begin with. I’m going to say this is a non issue that some people are trying to blow up.
    _________________

    Obvious lie, there was a recent episode where the blond and her husband were making out pretty much the entire show, Gloria has most definitly kissed Ed O’Neils cheek with a loud “Mwah” sound and ina recent episode on the kiss cam gloria kissed the other woman’s husband.

  • Cam

    @B:

    B, we often disagree on here, but on that comment you totally nailed it!

  • Mr. Enemabag Jones

    @fredo777:

    There have been many, btw.

    I’m sure there have been. I don’t get the impression that you have much of a life.

  • fredo777

    @Mr. Enemabag Jones: Do you get the impression that I give a shit what you think of my life? If so, another swing + miss for douchebag jones.

  • testington

    I think he is just older and so he doesn’t use all the PC jargon everybody else does, but in my opinion his point is to say that they don’t kiss because the tone of the show is a light comedy and showing them kissing might be a distraction for some viewers. Maybe he isn’t as educated on GLBT issues as younger, more liberal actors, but at least he is willing to appear on a show that prominetly features a stable, committed gay family.

  • Jaroslaw

    #36 Ummmmm Testington – 50 plus is not 90 you’re being a bit too generous with this guy’s mental/social age. For heaven’s sake he’s an actor. It is not exactly news that Gays make up a lot of Hollywood culture.

    “willing to be on a show..”? You’re kidding right? Hollywood is about the $$ period. He’s getting paid. And it is not exactly like he is an A list actor.

  • scott ny'er

    @Jaroslaw: AND I think this is his 5 series he is trying to get off the ground since Married with Children. He’s 64 yrs old. I knew he looked old. And I’d swear his wife on that show looks 30yrs old. Which I wouldn’t say anything about but it’s so Hollywood to have an old, ugly geezer married to a young, sexy wife.

  • Jaroslaw

    Thanks Scott Ny’er for the additional info.

  • donna

    It was a stupid thing to say but FYI he is married in real life to a gay woman (separated for 10 years yet walk the red carpet together) and his brother is gay. So enough with all the presumptions of his past. But he is a pretty soulless guy and very selfish so say whatever you want :-). Yes, lots of failed series that have hurt his ego tremendously. I think he was snubbed at The Emmy because insiders dont like him very much.

  • rycbar123

    I think the point of the O’Neil comment is just to say that Modern Family is about diversity. Typical American families are not monolithically white, black, Latino, Asian or other and they are not 100% gay or straight. The positive messaging about the show is that everybody, gay or straight, has the same kind of concerns about family and raising children. A better term then pornographic may have been voyeuristic. But don’t miss the whole point of the “simply for a few less than optimum lead chosen words. Remember that he said “who cares?”. When you start speculating into things like his upbringing, background or motives you are no better than what you accuse him of being.

Comments are closed.