We certainly love a good prank — the more drawn-out, mean-spirited, and reality-bending, the better — but our idea of a perfect hell involves being punk’d by a gang of uppity, characteristically tone-deaf Christians.
Unfortunately, that’s the fate suffered by attendees of Sunday’s Toronto Pride parade, which found a portly crew of antigay Christians inadvisably donning green, skintight body suits and rainbow-themed accoutrement to “infiltrate” the festivities and hand out sheafs of insipid propaganda.
This fledgling bit of performance art was spearheaded by Christian extremist Bill Whatcott, who tellingly was found guilty of hate speech by the Supreme Court of Canada in 2013 for handing out antigay pamphlets.
The marauding horde of milquetoast miscreants registered to march under the name “Gay Zombies Cannabis Consumers Association.” They trudged through the parade holding a banner with the group’s name, and they’re even listed as participants on Pride Toronto’s website.
Talking to Christian website Lifesite News — which we’ve accidentally forgotten to link to because it’s the day after Fourth of July weekend and we’re braindead — Whatcott crowed, “I asked them if they wanted ‘Zombie safe sex.’ Everyone loved it.”
But, if you try to give out a Gospel pamphlet, they swear at you and throw slushies on your forehead. But, give them some wackadoddle [sic] thing that looks like a condom, and they really can’t grab it fast enough. I had three thousand out in 20 minutes.”
The stunt is in accord with a similar schtick he pulled in 2014 at the Vancouver Pride parade under the alias of Matthew Davidson, where he registered the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
He also threw together a Heterosexual Pride Day parade in Regina back in 2001, but it wasn’t renewed for subsequent years due to its floridly antigay sentiment.
Back in 2002 he was featured on “The Daily Show”, where he complained of being discriminated against for being heterosexual and talked about the Regina Heterosexual Pride parade event.
Whatcott posted photos of himself and his half a dozen or so fellow Christian activists at the Toronto Pride parade to his blog — which we’ve accidentally forgotten to link to because we’re preoccupied with a number of personal problems — as well as links to the pamphlet they handed out to unsuspecting attendees who thought they were getting condoms and safe sex tips.
The pamphlet instead featured graphic images of sexually transmitted infections and antigay and anti-trans hate speech.
It also criticized Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau for marching in the Pride parade, as well as going after other pro-LGBT politicians. Trudeau was the first Prime Minister to march in a gay pride parade.
Watch footage of him marching below.
h/t: LGBTQ Nation