coming out

Elena Kagan Volunteered Her Heterosexuality On Mother’s Day Or Something

The White House would like you to believe Elena Kagan, on one recent afternoon, walked into the Oval Office and was like, “B-T-Dubs, I like wang.”

Last week came the report that Kagan told the White House about her sexuality at the end of 2008, when she was being considered for the solicitor general job. But now the White House is, via an unnamed aide, spreading the word Kagan was the one who chose to tell Obama & Co. she’s a breeder — and only recently. Like, when she was being vetted for the Supreme Court gig.

That is: It wasn’t the White House who asked Kagan to fess up when all those rumors started. “Solicitor General Kagan volunteered the information to the White House when media reports surfaced in the pre-nomination process for the Supreme Court,” says the aide.

Fine. But was it Kagan or the White House who decided to call the claim that she was gay “false charges”? ‘Cause we really need to know who to aim the stink eye at.

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  • Kieran

    I guess this is what Obama meant when he promised to get rid of the “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

  • dvlaries

    Now we can feel sorry for her:
    “Alright, alright, I’m straight! Are you happy…? But shit, look at me. How many guys do you think I was gonna get and keep with this body?”

    Sonia has to be thinking, “Christ, I thought I had it tough with ‘wise Latina…'”

    Heaven help the next one and what they’re gonna be put through.

  • Bill

    Seriously, I have never been so embarrassed for heterosexuals in my entire life.

    It truly does seem that most of them have not matured past an 8th grade level.

    Seriously, straight folks. You look like idiots these days.

  • jake

    if she’s not gay then i don’t care whether or not she gets approved to SCOTUS.

  • Chris

    @jake: It does sort of take away any appeal that she has…except of course the fact that she’s a liberal, but still there’s plenty of those.

Comments are closed.