Relationships can be tough. They can be even tougher if you’re horribly shallow.
Here are eleven of the worst reasons for love to go sour. Any of them sound familiar?
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1. His clothes always clash with what I’m wearing
2. He won’t take his turn (on top) (on bottom)
3. He won’t get an iPhone
4. He makes me eat organic
5. His best friend and my best friend hate each other
@QJ201: Number 2 on your list doesn’t even feel shallow to me… definitely a deal breaker for me. I’m vers… sometimes I like to be on top, sometimes I like to be on bottom, but not one position permanently. You’re missing out, strict tops and bottoms.
@Xzamilio, I’d agree with you in the sense that sexual incompatibility is a very legit reason to break up, whatever your preferences are. Being vers is not for everyone, but two bottoms will never make a top, and vice versa.
Hahaha. A friend just told me last week that he broke up with his boyfriend because he doesn’t like the style he has his hair. I told him at least it wasn’t like that dumb kid from Canada everyone seems to emulate. (My friend is one) He just glared. Shallow b***ch.
@Gothrykke: I guess I fall into the Burner category, except that I rarely talk about it to other people that aren’t also burners. Fortunately, my boyfriend also enjoys it so it’s not an issue there.
Shallow reasons are just excuses….if this crap is really important to anyone then they are a real Sh!tty person…the burner maybe I could see…and the dream thingy.
TBBT is a show mostly without jokes and a violently abused laugh track. The few jokes included over the series are overly explained until they just weren’t funny. Watch the videos on youtube where people have edited out the obnoxious laugh track. They just stand around awkwardly after every line because that’s the punchline to every supposed joke. Setup, then awkward.
1. He doesn’t just like looking at Davey Wavey, he likes listening to him.
2. He cares who won Stoli Guy.
3. He likes cats. (Either the 4-legged kind or the musical)
4. He doesn’t accept Madonna as his personal savior.
I was at a leather bar once, years ago. In comes a cleanly-shaven nicely-dressed young man who, stepping off his skateboard, plants a kiss on an older guy drinking a beer. On his way to work as a waiter, the younger man was stopping by to say hi and tell this guy that he loved him.
Then and there, on the spot, the older guy broke up with the young man for embarrassing him by coming to a leather bar dressed the way that he was.
A bit overlong to fit above, but I can honestly say that I have never heard of a more shallow reason for breaking up with someone than I witnessed that afternoon/evening.
I had a fight with my ex-boyfirend and my bff because they don’t like Britney , they like bleachonce…. freaking beyawnce
So my shallow reason to break up with my boyfriend would be:
1. He doesn’t like Britney , or he doesn’t consider her his diva
2. Likes beyawnce or Average Lavigne
3. Doesn’t like Pop
That’s all
Oh just be honest and admit you found someone new, because you never stopped looking for perfection while you were together. No need for a list of shallow excuses.
For us older folks, number one deal breaker (and immediate shallow reason to break up with the guy), he’s never heard of any of the following people:
1. Judy (or is confused by the term “Friend of Dorothy”)
2. Liza (or doesn’t know the connection to Judy)
3. Stephen Sondheim (this is my number one reason)
4. Patient Zero (talk about not knowing our history of the last 30 years)
5. Elaine Stritch (no points for her appearances on 30 Rock, but if he can identify Pal Joey or Sail Away, he’s a keeper)
6. Charles Laughton (oh, for goodness’ sake, look him up)
7. Cole Porter (but if he knows all the lyrics to Anything Goes don’t let him out of your sight—ever)
8. Oscar Wilde (totally unforgivable under any circumstance—I don’t care how hot he is)
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Gothrykke
9 is justifiable homicide.
QJ201
1. His clothes always clash with what I’m wearing
2. He won’t take his turn (on top) (on bottom)
3. He won’t get an iPhone
4. He makes me eat organic
5. His best friend and my best friend hate each other
Xzamilio
@QJ201: Number 2 on your list doesn’t even feel shallow to me… definitely a deal breaker for me. I’m vers… sometimes I like to be on top, sometimes I like to be on bottom, but not one position permanently. You’re missing out, strict tops and bottoms.
vive
@Xzamilio, I’d agree with you in the sense that sexual incompatibility is a very legit reason to break up, whatever your preferences are. Being vers is not for everyone, but two bottoms will never make a top, and vice versa.
cshields
@ Gothrykke What’s wrong with the Big Bang Theory? I never understood peoples dislike of that show?
Tracy Pope
Hahaha. A friend just told me last week that he broke up with his boyfriend because he doesn’t like the style he has his hair. I told him at least it wasn’t like that dumb kid from Canada everyone seems to emulate. (My friend is one) He just glared. Shallow b***ch.
@Gothrykke: I guess I fall into the Burner category, except that I rarely talk about it to other people that aren’t also burners. Fortunately, my boyfriend also enjoys it so it’s not an issue there.
Lvng1Tor
Shallow reasons are just excuses….if this crap is really important to anyone then they are a real Sh!tty person…the burner maybe I could see…and the dream thingy.
vive
I’d be completely fine with a burner. At least they’d probably be more interesting than your regular shallow queen.
BBellairs
If my boyfriend looked like the guy in the picture, I really wouldn’t care if he WERE a burner!
Gothrykke
TBBT is a show mostly without jokes and a violently abused laugh track. The few jokes included over the series are overly explained until they just weren’t funny. Watch the videos on youtube where people have edited out the obnoxious laugh track. They just stand around awkwardly after every line because that’s the punchline to every supposed joke. Setup, then awkward.
It’s. Not. Funny.
Saint Law
@QJ201: I wasn’t sure if this was a parody. But then so many gay men are parodies, so I’m guessing you’re probably ‘real’.
lykeitiz
1. He doesn’t just like looking at Davey Wavey, he likes listening to him.
2. He cares who won Stoli Guy.
3. He likes cats. (Either the 4-legged kind or the musical)
4. He doesn’t accept Madonna as his personal savior.
Oh wait…this is getting personal…
Chris
I was at a leather bar once, years ago. In comes a cleanly-shaven nicely-dressed young man who, stepping off his skateboard, plants a kiss on an older guy drinking a beer. On his way to work as a waiter, the younger man was stopping by to say hi and tell this guy that he loved him.
Then and there, on the spot, the older guy broke up with the young man for embarrassing him by coming to a leather bar dressed the way that he was.
A bit overlong to fit above, but I can honestly say that I have never heard of a more shallow reason for breaking up with someone than I witnessed that afternoon/evening.
IntoxicateMeNow
I had a fight with my ex-boyfirend and my bff because they don’t like Britney , they like bleachonce…. freaking beyawnce
So my shallow reason to break up with my boyfriend would be:
1. He doesn’t like Britney , or he doesn’t consider her his diva
2. Likes beyawnce or Average Lavigne
3. Doesn’t like Pop
That’s all
IntoxicateMeNow
@IntoxicateMeNow: Also not accepting Godney as his lord and savior
May we all bask in her holiness
Amen
Paco
Oh just be honest and admit you found someone new, because you never stopped looking for perfection while you were together. No need for a list of shallow excuses.
Ronbo
My “first” wore a snappy leather cap.
DarkZephyr
@Chris: Awww. I would love a romantic gesture like that. You are right, what a shallow douche the older man must have been.
Milk
@QJ201: Your number 3 is a deal breaker for me. Iphone seriously? A person should be bendable not an iphone.
kofender
For us older folks, number one deal breaker (and immediate shallow reason to break up with the guy), he’s never heard of any of the following people:
1. Judy (or is confused by the term “Friend of Dorothy”)
2. Liza (or doesn’t know the connection to Judy)
3. Stephen Sondheim (this is my number one reason)
4. Patient Zero (talk about not knowing our history of the last 30 years)
5. Elaine Stritch (no points for her appearances on 30 Rock, but if he can identify Pal Joey or Sail Away, he’s a keeper)
6. Charles Laughton (oh, for goodness’ sake, look him up)
7. Cole Porter (but if he knows all the lyrics to Anything Goes don’t let him out of your sight—ever)
8. Oscar Wilde (totally unforgivable under any circumstance—I don’t care how hot he is)
Chris
@DarkZephyr: I was less kind than you. I would never insult a douche that way.
Besides, leather is all a costume anyway.
Alan down in Florida
I knew a guy who dumped his boyfriend because his chest wasn’t hairy enough. That’s majorly shallow.
BTW – what is a burner?
Chris
@Alan down in Florida: Someone who goes to Burning Man
Rob Moore
@Paco: Well said.
Rob Moore
@kofender: My god, I think I love you.
Redman4203
@kofender: I agree with Rob!
Redman4203
@kofender: Used FOD in an social media post and no one had a clue what it meant. Kids today!
Carlos Zuniga
LOL
Joshua Robertson
LOL! I wonder what happened with the founders of distinctt. They split today (I’m so hitting on one of them if I ever get the chance 😀 )
J.r. Graff
Ditch the bitch! 😀