Elton John Would Make an Awesome Simon Cowell Replacement. Too Bad It’ll Probably Never Happen

As much as we want to believe this rumor that Elton John is on the short list to replace Simon Cowell on American Idol next season, we cannot fathom a world where The Bitch sits still through hours and hours of “Tiny Dancer” auditions.

Sure, he’d take great pleasure in shooting down the wayward talents of hack singers, and we’d take great pleasure in seeing Elton’s cattiness, egged on by producers, attempt to make Cowell’s comments as Anne Hathaway’s smile, but such an engagement would tie the piano man down for months, and this butterfly can’t be caged.