Eric And Jeremy: Heteroness Personified

We are certainly not the type to cast generalities upon others, especially when we haven’t had the chance to meet them in person.

But after watching several episodes of The Amazing Race 9, airing on CBS, we understand certain allegations have been made against the sexuality of contestants Eric and Jeremy. For some odd reason, people presume they are gay.

As experts on all that is homosexual, we are here to profess that they are, in fact, NOT gay.

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Their platonic affection for each other, the macho demeanor, the obvious interest in the opposite sex. If they were gay, would they make such constant heterosexual references to “tongue wrasslin’ with the ladies”? We don’t think so.

Nor would they feel secure enough to bond with their fellow dudes:

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The editors of the show obviously agree. All those close-up shots of Jeremy fixing his straight-guy fauxhawk?

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Not gay.

Really, the best way to prove one’s heterosexualness is by going on a reality-television program; with cameras following you 24 hours a day, you aren’t likely to stress out and say what you’re really thinking something that could be taken with a touch of double entendre, if you will.

They certainly are doing a great job of proving themselves. Women across America are undoubtedly lining up to get married, expecting a long and secure relationship. If only we could find gay men just like them! Because otherwise, they seem just perfect to play on our team. Not that they do.

Oh, one more pic. Go here to Jaunted and scroll down. Not safe for work. You might get canned. No pun intended.

[Thanks also to TVGasm for pics.]

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