ON OUR GAYDAR —
• No matter how much you straights love the gays, seeing two dudes kissing is repulsive. And: morally wrong.
• The Organization for Refuge, Asylum & Migration is the first NGO “to focus exclusively on refugees and asylum seekers fleeing sexual and gender based violence.”
• New York State Bar Association endorses same-sex marriage. Connecticut’s Sen. Chris Dodd does too. And Pennsylvania State Sen. John Eichelberger, who is sponsoring a bill to ban same-sex marriage there, is proud to be “allowing [gays] to exist.”
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
• The mayor of Mulberry, Florida, was allegedly attacked in the early morning by his partner, who brought home a stranger from a club.
• New hope for HIV treatment that hopes to “eradicate HIV in the body by both suppressing replication and stopping the division of memory T-cells.”
• “I don’t want the pressure to let up on President Obama, but I don’t want committed GLBTs and allies to give up on him either. Our voices need to encourage him to keep going in the quest for complete equal rights under the law. We will remind him that we are here to defend him from attacks from the Right as he makes way for GLBT freedoms and support him as he kicks down the walls. We also need to remind our members of Congress that we want them to give Obama a bill to sign.” —NARAL Pro-Choice America’s Karol Collymore
• First D.C., now Boston: Another DNC fundraiser boycott from GLBTs.
Marianne Seggerman
Straight men freak out with two dudes kissing. Straight women find it hot. I loooove Torchwood, no more so when Captain Jack, with that incongruous Midwestern American accent, presses face with another random male cast member.
D-Sun
So Eichelberger(cool name bro)’s view on things pretty much boils down to “Hey, just be grateful we’re not exterminating you.”
Cam
Yeah, and of course the straight men that find it the Most revolting all seem to come out of the closet ten years later on. In college I lived with two of the most straight guys out there. Both republicans, both straight, and both were fantastic when I came out to them. My college boyfriends and I would hang out in the apartment and act like college boyfriends will. It never bothered these guys at all. Their girlfriends would drag them out dancing with us to the gay clubs, they hated dancing but liked making their girlfriends happy.
Again, they were completely straight, they knew they were completely straight, they had nothing to worry about, get grossed out about or fear. It’s the closet cases that have to prove how aweful two guys kissing is.
Oh, and as for my two GOP college roomates, both still registered republicans and both wouldn’t vote for Bush or McCain because they said they couldn’t figure out when or why people like me became the enemy to their party.
Jaroslaw
I find it deplorable that in our culture it is “repulsive” to watch two men kiss…this, in a country (USA) that has media that cannot show the real photos of war. (for only one example)How hypocritical.
Let’s show some of those horrible photos of butchered civilians, up close and then see if men kissing is such a problem.
naprem
@Jaroslaw: It reminds me of the story told after “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” showed its supposedly ‘lesbian’ episode. (Stop sniggering, I have a point.)
There’s a tale that one of Paramount Studios’ customer service people told regarding the episode – an irate viewer called in and said “How dare you show two women kissing on television? You’re ruining my children!” The phone operator asked if the viewer would have been okay with her if one woman had pulled out a phaser and shot the other woman. The viewer replied, “Of course that’s okay.” To which the operator replied, “Then I think we can see which one of us is ruining your children,” and hung up.
Jaroslaw
Well, Naprem, women kissing is different. Just kidding! Thanks for the story. I only hope it is really true that the operator said that.
Like I said, when (and IF!!!) people actually see the guts and gore of war, I don’t think men kissing will be a problem.
Andrew
no surprise on the repulsion. For those of us whose sexualities fall heavily towards either end of the spectrum, the opposite of what we prefer tends to disgust us.
That doesn’t mean that there is hate; it’s merely a bodily reaction.
The difference between straights and gays is that gay people have developed a, shall we say, “tolerance,” from having been forced to see opposite-sex couples in romance.
Not saying I’m absolutely right, but that’s my theory.
AlwaysGay
@Cam: You’re delusional. Almost all anti-gay bigots are heterosexual.
timncguy
I don’t know why anyone would be surprised at this. MANY people find PDA of any kind between same-sex or opposite-sex couples to be disgusting.
I’ve never understood wh any couple feels the need to paw at each other in public.
Kiwi
Seriously I don’t enjoy watching anyone make out in public, gay or straight. If you want to make a quick kiss or a peck on the cheek then go for it, but when either party starts making out in the public square it’s usually disturbing. For Christ sakes save it for when you get home.
Most people who don’t like watching 2 guys mack each other at the movie theater more likely than not don’t want to see some horny 16 year old boy grope and make out with his GF.
RainaWeather
Finding a physical act repulsive does not mean you hate the people who engage in it. Hell, I find cheese disgusting (more disgusting than any straight man finds a gay kiss) but I don’t hate people who eat cheese.
J
@timncguy: “I don’t know why anyone would be surprised at this. MANY people find PDA of any kind between same-sex or opposite-sex couples to be disgusting.
I’ve never understood wh any couple feels the need to paw at each other in public.”
Never go to Italy.
TANK
Yeah, my father has the some reaction to gay pda’s and stuff like that. He doesn’t lose control of himself and become a homophobic troglodyte like some who witness them do, and who have no self control and aren’t really “persons”. Drunken messages early in the morning detailing the particulars of gay sex haven’t cured him of this, either. He’s very gay friendly, though. It’s just an autoamtic response he can’t control, but that one can supress and behave like a human being upon rational consideration. Many of our instincts and inclinations are treated the same way, thankfully. It’s called ethics.
I get revolted by straight pda’s (esp. in Italy…they’re grotesquely beyond the pale), heteronormative socialization be damned. I think it’s disgusting. No judgment, though. It just makes me vomit a little in my mouth.
TANK
@J:
LOL! You called it. Wow..in italy it’s like privacy is not a concern.
alan brickman
straight guys don’t care about the same sex kissing…but closet gays who hate other gays do..stop blaming straights for all the woes of the gay community..
getreal
I don’t know any straights who care about same sex PDA unless they are someone who scratching the surface has a problem with homophobia. None of my straight friends bat an eye when gay people kiss.
TANK
@getreal:
And that’s an accurate sample group. You know, none of my straight friends “bat an eyelash” at the sight, either… Because I don’t hang out with the kind of straight who would.
alan brickman
most of my straight freinds just cheer…
getreal
As per usual you address me with no interesting in trying to have a dialogue or understand my statement just to make catty comments. Actually I unlike you am an activist who actually DOES things in the equality movement and an organization I work with has been testing TV spots for future us with straight focus groups for months unless in their survey after they do admit to some kind of bias against gay people straight people are almost never put off by same sex people kissing. I will for back to ignoring your silly posts they are all about your desperate need for attention which manifest as you trying to argue with people and your general apathy about actual being part of the equality movement. Enjoy it I’m not interested.
getreal
@alan brickman: In test groups unless they have a bias straight people are not in general put off by for example wedding videos of people kissing. If anything it underscores that same sex couples like straight couples just want love.
TANK
You don’t know anything about me, first of all. So take a seat. Next, if your attempt at that completely irrelevant comment of yours was to refute the article or cast doubt upon it, I demonstrated that it does not…that it is, in fact, a nonsequitur.
TANK
As for your new assertion that the study referenced by the scientific american article is false…because you’ve done “focus groups” studies with teevee stations…oy…you are clueless.
Michael
Way to be subtle, Queerty.
andersoncooperismyfuturehusband
The worst thing one can do to tankie is to call out one of his constant inane comments and to ignore him. He is a loser and a tool and will cry if ignored.
DuttyBarb
OK …
Gay PDA is not a problem..if u are on a suicide mission
PA Senator…a tad harsh but gets my full support.
We are doing you gays a favor..so no u dont deserve any special rights.
I mean did u guys see Dustin Lance Black’s sex pix…Jesus Christ!!!
TANK
@andersoncooperismyfuturehusband:
LOL! Actually, you’re a total loser and an ignorant, practically illiterate slob to boot. And now troll, too. Plus, you’re a consumate victim and, as I previously called it, a total faggot…the bad kind in which every negative trait a gay man can possibly possess you have.
Disgusted American
in my 48yrs – I’ve never come across any problems with PDA..
jason
I think intimacy between men has been drummed out of us since we were children. Mothers and fathers are known to actively discourage their sons from holding hands with other boys, for instance. In general, male-male contact is stigmatized. Girls, on the other hand, are allowed to hold hands with other girls and are actively encouraged to find other women physically pretty in the form of Barbie dolls etc etc.
It’s as if there is an active “bisexualization” of women from a young age. Thus there is definitely a double standard in terms of how men and women are conditioned from a young age.
Perhaps the key to understanding the “revulsion” is in the double standard. It suggests that upbringing is important.
afrolito
I’m not surprised that straights find two guys kissing repulsive, and it doesn’t make them secretly gay. So tired of that ridiculous comeback. I think most of the revulsion comes from social upbringing, but there’s probably a biological component as well.
Of course there is the obvious double standard of guys getting off on two girls making out, but that’s really about the hetero male eventually getting in on the action himself. It has NOTHING to do with real lesbianism. The same logic applies to women who get off on seeing two guys go at it. She either imagines herself as one of the guys, or she wants in on it herself. It’s all projection and fantasy.
Tony
@AFROLITARD:
“I’m not surprised that straights find two guys kissing repulsive”
Because you do too, good self-hating homosexual that you are.
(Hands in air….)
galefan2004
@D-Sun: No, Senator Jackass’ views boil down to, “I want to exterminate gays but if I say that I know it will make me look like the right wing radical jack ass that I really am.” His interview view is to allow them to exist.
galefan2004
Being honest, I find all PDA (male/male, male/female, female/female) a tad on the revolting side when it goes to far. I shouldn’t be offered a rare glimpse of your bedroom behavior in a public place just because you decided to show me.
afrolito
@Tony:
I love how you follow me around from topic to topic. It’s really helpful to anyone still on the fence about how stupid you truly are.
Tony
Afrolito I don’t follow you, I follow the smell.
AlwaysGay
@alan brickman: Heterosexual-identified men like Larry Craig learned how to be anti-gay from gay people, WRONG!!! Gay people are surrounded by heterosexuals from day one and anti-gay prejudices are instilled in us from heterosexuals. The marriage, the kids, the anti-gay bigotry was all apart of the heterosexual package for Larry Craig, Jim McGreevy, Ted Haggard et al.
Distingué Traces
That sciam article WAY over-extrapolates from fairly innocuous data.
MTiffany
And there are those of us – both gay and straight – who simply find any PDA to be revolting. Maybe we were just raised right, or maybe people are free to have the opinion that sucking face in public is just trashy. Get a room, people!
Jaroslaw
I’m not saying this comment sarcastically, really, but where do all you people live where no one has any problems with PDA especially when Gay guys are involved? I personally almost never see any Gay guys kissing unless it is in a little town north of the metropolis where I live that is considered Gay friendly. And the Gay pride fest is there. So, either everyone here is super modest, or there are no Gays, or there is a lot of social pressure NOT to show PDA. But I do see straight people holding hands and kissing all the time.
Please note, I’m not talking about extremem PDA: groping, pawing etc. just maybe sitting close, holding hands or kissing hello/good bye etc.
alicia banks
revulsion should be felt equally for all pdas
if not, it is homohatred.
fyi,
ab
FOR THE STRAIGHT FOLKS WHO DON’T MIND GAYS BUT WISH THEY WEREN’T SO BLATANT
by Pat Parker
You know, some people got a lot of nerve.
Sometimes I don’t believe the things I see and hear.
Have you met the woman who’s shocked by two women kissing and, in the same breath, tells you she is pregnant?
But gays, shouldn’t be so blatant.
Or this straight couple sits next to you in a movie and you can’t hear the dialogue because of the sound effects?
But gays shouldn’t be so blatant.
And the woman in your office who spends an entire lunch hour talking about her new bikini drawers and how much her husband likes them?
But gays shouldn’t be so blatant.
Or the “hip” chick in your class rattling like a mile a minute, while you’re trying to get stoned in the john, about the camping trip she took with her musician boyfriend?
But gays shouldn’t be so blatant.
You go into a public bathroom and all over the walls there’s “John loves Mary”, “Janice digs Richard”, “Pepe loves Delores”, etc., etc.
But gays shouldn’t be so blatant.
Or you go to an amusement park and there’s a tunnel of love with pictures of straights painted on the front and grinning couples are coming in and out?
But gays shouldn’t be so blatant.
Fact is, blatant heterosexuals are all over the place.
Supermarkets, movies, on your job, in church, in books, on television every day and night, every place–even in gay bars–and they want gay men and woman to go and hide in the closet.
So to you straight folks I say, “Sure, I’ll go if you go too. But, I’m polite so, after you.”
C-Errors
@Michael:
Subtle racism is so cute!
Jaroslaw
love that poem by Pat Parker!
galefan2004
@Jaroslaw: Using your definition of basic PDA, I would think that in my own community people see it more as something to joke about than as something to condemn.
galefan2004
@alicia banks: I don’t know about your public bathrooms, but the ones with graphite in my area have walls covered with “will suck dick (date/time)” and “will suck dick just call (number)”. Maybe that is because I’m in a more rural area where the gay population has no real place to meet.
Jaroslaw
Galefan2004 – to make sure I understand you – do you mean people where you live think same sex attraction is some kind of joke? That we’re incapable of true love or something like that?
One thing I’ve learned over the years, the people that are 100% certain about everything have the least actual knowledge about anything!
galefan2004
Good thing I’m 100% certain about very little then. Honestly, I might agree with your assessment. I think that some people from where I am from honestly do see same sex sexual attraction as, as you put it, “some kind of joke [and see us as being] incapable of true love.” I’m not from the most progressive area. However, at least they are laughing instead of acting out with violence. Personally, I prefer being amusing to being in the hospital.
tien
Here is a site that offers a new twist on hot sex chat. http://sex.blabngo.com pairs you with random strangers who are looking to have a sensual experience with no strings attached. And yes it’s totally free.
TheRealAdam
@alicia banks: I love it.