FALSE ALARM

Everyone Relax! Despite Reports, Cher Is Not “Dying,” Publicist Says

Cher-Dying-250x289The front page headline of America’s most reputable news outlet National Enquirer currently reads: “Dying Cher: The End.”

According to the tabloid, the 69-year-old Marc Jacobs model has become “obsessed with her late ex-husband, Sonny Bono, and believes she’ll soon join him.”

The paper quotes a “friend” of the dance diva saying, “Cher goes to his gravesite with flowers and comes back all weepy and looking like death warmed over. She’s even cried, ‘I’m ready to be with Sonny again.'”

“Cher truly believes the end is near for her,” the friend claims.

Related: 12 More Pearls Of Wisdom Gathered From Cher’s Twitter Account

When she’s not weeping at Sonny’s gravesite, she’s “confined herself to her Malibu mansion” waiting to expire, the Enquirer reports.

So what’s the issue? Is she depressed? Is she sick?

According to the tabloidshe’s suffering “kidney and heart failure” and a result of some bizarre “lethal virus.” Or something.

Well, you can all relax because a rep for the singer has just confirmed to the blog Gossip Cop that the story is completely “false.” Cher is perfectly fine. In fact, she’s currently traveling in Istanbul.

If that’s not enough of a reassurance for people, then this recent tweet from the dance diva should be:

We think we speak for everyone when we say: Thank goodness! As much as we loved Jennifer Lawrence’s recent Cher impersonation, no one will ever fill her place.

Long live the queen.

Related: Cher Is Hawking Holiday Gear On Her Website… And It’s Kind Of Amazing