What do you do when you desperately need a lawyer but you’re an alleged career criminal/disgraced, twice-impeached ex-president facing multiple lawsuits and a potential federal investigation and you’ve burned every damn bridge imaginable?
That’s the dilemma Donald Trump is currently facing.
It’s been a little over a week since the FBI searched Mar-a-Lago and reportedly removed 11 boxes of highly classified documents that were being illegally stored in a padlocked room in the basement, and the ex-president can’t find a single good lawyer to help him out.
Hell, he can’t even find a decent one.
How about we take this to the next level?
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Related: The dude who doxxed FBI agents after Mar-A-Lago raid… just got doxxed
“Everyone is saying no,” an anonymous source tells the Washington Post.
Another source adds that representing Trump would be way too difficult, pointing to his behavior in White House, specifically during the Mueller investigation, when he would constantly rage tweet from the Oval Office against his legal team’s advice.
Several others described him as a nightmare client and said they would be concerned about whether he’d pay them for their work or just hang them out to dry like he did with Rudy. (Giuliani, that is.)
Trump reportedly didn’t pay Giuliani the hundreds of thousands of dollars he owed him for trying to overturn the 2020 election, resulting in the ex-mayor having to lay off several members of his personal entourage and resort to recording Cameo videos and appearing on the Masked Singer to pay for his own mounting legal expenses.
Related: Rudy Giuliani is broke, laying off staff left and right, scrambling for cash
So, who does the ex-president have on retainer, you ask?
Well, he’s currently being represented by Alina Habba, a New Jersey parking garage lawyer, and former One America News personality Christina Bobb, who can be seen in the video below:
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He is also working with Jim Trusty and Evan Corcoran, who his camp claims have “decades of prosecutorial experience and have litigated some of the most complex cases in American history.”
“President Trump is represented by some of the strongest attorneys in the country, and any suggestion otherwise is only driven by envy,” spokesman Taylor Budowich says.
We can’t imagine too many people being envious of a 76-year-old man facing an endless stream of legal woes, including an investigation into whether his company broke banking, insurance, and tax laws and engaged in fraud, as well as possible criminal charges from the Department of Justice for potentially violating three federal laws, including the Espionage Act.
Now, some tweets…
He alone can fix it. He knows criminal defense law better than anyone. They said “sir, you picked this right up, you must have a natural talent for this”. He should probably just represent himself so it can be done right.
— Bob Anderson (@rwa_) August 17, 2022
I remember one prominent NYC attorney’s reply when asked why he wouldn’t work for the Mango Mussolini: “Because he won’t pay and he won’t listen.”
— Morgul the Friendly Drelb (@SShore60) August 17, 2022
Who wants to wind up like THIS:https://t.co/438j3o2r4I
— Jason Looney (@jlooney2) August 17, 2022
He’s finally run out of yes men.
— David Brelin (@DavidBrelin) August 17, 2022
No lawyer would care that he lies. Every lawyer would care that he doesn’t pay his bills
— Ioana 🏳️🌈 (@Alandriel1972) August 17, 2022
You get what you pay for and apparently he doesn’t pay at all.
— Barb Huber (@BarbHuber9) August 17, 2022
How many lawyers for Trump have been convicted, disbarred, or are currently being investigated for their crimes?
— David Jensen🇺🇸🌻🇩🇰 (@DAJensen07) August 17, 2022
Not worth losing their law license.
— Lady Lavender NYC (@PrincessofNYC23) August 17, 2022
I’m sure they can get him a public defender when the time comes.
— Themaskedasshole (@Tmaskahole) August 17, 2022
Watch legal analyst Elliot Williams and former Deputy Director of the FBI Andrew McCabe talk to CNN about the situation and all the potential charges Trump could be facing below:
Related: Eric Trump accidentally shares WiFi network and password during whiny Fox News appearance
Covid Hermit
Maybe Trump could hire Jackie Chiles (the fake Johnnie Cochran from “Seinfeld”)?
m
Lol
still_onthemark
Jackie was upset to learn that Trump is accused of raping Sue Ellen Mishky, the bra-less candy bar heiress, in a Bloomingdale’s dressing room in 1997. Jackie decided, “That’s totally inappropriate! It’s lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous!” Plus, Jackie generally likes to get paid and Trump generally doesn’t do that.
jt1990
Trump could lose everything and still not be homeless. He will continue to live rent free in the minds of deranged Leftists regardless of the outcome LMAO
Chrisk
“He will continue to live rent free in the minds of deranged right wingers regardless of the outcome LMAO”
There. Fixed it for ya. LMAO
Harley
Thanks for your insight Vlad.
Cam
@jt1990
LOL!!! The right wing troll account desperately trying to deflect from the fact that Republicans are criminals and bigots and Trump is likely going to jail.
As always, your trolling is sad and weak.
mailliw110
Hello JT! Was wondering when they’d let you back on the internet! You’ve missed some very political stories lately. Hope that doesn’t make your masters upset.
CNY1983
jt”whatever-your-name-is”: you would be the only one who could answer this question,so if you would, pease…..IS ALINA HABBA THE TWIN SISTER OF KIMBERLY GARGOYLE???
Mister P
I’ll quote Beto. Maybe you think it’s funny motha phucka but I don’t. The damage he has done to this country will take decades to repair if ever.
MISTERJETT
Queerty, please no more close-up pictures of this clown. he’s gruesome!!!
whereshouldistart
Why do people who have no defense left always resort to the tired old, “You’re just jealous,” excuse.
What should we be jealous of? A fat pile of flaming orange dogshit?
Nahhhh.
JTinToronto
Maybe the orange menace should hire an actor who can play a lawyer. Maybe Joe Pesci? That may be his only next step. But I doubt Joe Pesci would do it and not get paid for it like the people before him. I just laugh and laugh and laugh.
bachy
Watching this flailing demagogue go down will be the courtroom spectacle of the century. And a day that should reassure the world that American democracy, though embattled, remains strong.
Fahd
Sounds good, but I think he’s going to appeal everything to the Supreme Court and now that the corrupt/incompetent majority on the court has got their legs after overturning Roe v. Wade, they are going to immunize him or do whatever it takes to set him free. The U.S. is going to hell in a handbasket.
A silver lining may be that his ongoing criminal cases keep him from being re-elected. Let’s get these indictments started!
Mack
He doesn’t look like he needs a lawyer, he looks like he needs a coroner-hopefully soon.
CNY1983
SPOT ON!!!
Kangol2
Maybe one of the loafing, treasonous fascist Don the Con’s cultist lovers on here who’s passed the bar–any bar beyond one filled with liquor–will step up to defend him a court of law. Or maybe not, unless they also want their careers to go down in flames like the Con monster himself!
Archbishop763
Trumpers (Trumpists?) all think that he has been sent to us by God as the savior of the world. They could not be more wrong if they tried. I find it quite an interesting coincidence that the color of the beast who comes to destroy the world in Revelations is orange.
CNY1983
truth be told: that cheap orange tan shit he uses had opened his pores so wide you could drive through a truck!
Stefano
And to think that 40% of Americans still support and trust this clown. We really feel that the United States will implode like the USSR. It’s a real shame. In a healthy democracy, DT should already be in jail….but we’re in America…lol
Ronbo
Keep hope alive! No one is above the law – the problem is that the Secret Service, Capital Police and military orginzations appear to be friendly conservative Trumpers. Imagine how hard they had to work trying to erase all their texts. I’ve been told… say it and forget it, write it and regret it. These groups don’t play by any rules or law. The Jan 6er spirit of toxic masculinity and entitlement needs to be addressed and quelled.
JeffBaker
My guess is he will wind up with either Jay Sekulow or Abraham Hamilton III as his legal team. Remember early in his administration when he tried to hire Perry Mason? I mean, really?
Jimmynj
It’s just time to lock him up and anyone who enabled him, including his entitled brat children, Jared, the list could go on for days. It’s clear he’s a criminal and has been for decades.
Gadfeal
What is also infuriating is that the Democratic Party was so uncoordinated that they wasted time in pursuing a 2nd “impeachment” to score bunny points. Instead, they should have had a motion to disqualify him from future public office. Instead, he was able to use yet another SuperPac fund for his “supporters” (Trumpards) to send in hundreds of millions of dollars.
Even now, sure, the pandemic was Public Health priority 1 upon inauguration, but so was expanding the Supreme Court. So, putting the screws on Mancin, a senator from a State with 1.7M people and that receives annually direct Federal funds for 38% of its State budget (2017 data), to play ball in order to get the Supreme Court should have been the next priority.
It’s also galling that the tiniest States in population have as much senatorial power as the largest. Where the democracy in that? For Wyoming’s 600k residents to have as much power in the Senate as California’s 40M is about as UN-democratic possible, even more than for WV’s 1.7M
Then the systematic corruption of political financing that allows unlimited funding, unlimited individual source funding, and no effective control that no single candidate is directly benefited, i.e., SuperPacs has basically allowed systematic corruption on a grand scale.