28-year-old ex-ex-gay Seth Crocker believes he’s unearthed the secret to being gay and being a gay-hating Christian. The answer: celibacy.
In an interview with Mic.com, Crocker, a Clinical Psychology major at Regent University and former student of the now defunct Exodus International, says choosing abstinence is a “personal thing” rooted in his deeply-held belief that in order to have a genuine relationship with God one must make sacrifices.
Even really crappy sacrifices.
Like denying oneself true love, companionship and intimacy with other human beings.
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“It’s about humility,” Crocker argues. “I feel like this is what God teaches in scripture,” before adding, “but I could be wrong.”
“At the same time,” he continues, “I understand how hard [celibacy] is—how it can feel isolating and lonely—and I can understand why someone would pursue a relationship with someone of the same sex—to have that love and companionship.”
It took some soul searching, but Crocker says he’s has managed to overcome those needs. He’s now an advocate for celibacy, saying it can be “liberating” to anyone struggling with same-sex attraction.
“I think it’s quite liberating when you can look past that to see what the Gospel is actually saying—that we’re called to be like Christ,” he says.
Jesus, Crocker continues, was a bachelor for his entire life. As far as we know, he never had sex or even fooled around with another person, male or female. And if he could do it, so can everyone else.
“It’s an amazing model of what we can do,” Crocker says. “It can be a really fulfilling life when we feel called to something outside of ourselves.”
He continues: “We tend to put too much focus on our relationships—all my identity, all my worth comes from this other person. Your life doesn’t begin when you’re in a relationship.”
Unless, of course, that “person” and that relationship is with God.
Related: Here’s How A Christian Family Vlogger Explains His Extramarital X-Rated Selfies
Bauhaus
No thanks. I don’t struggle with same-sex attraction, I embrace it. I’m not sure he understands the concept of ‘liberating’.
Carter McCallister
He shouldn’t have any problem staying celibate! ð???
Scribe38
I feel sorry for anyone who believes that God/gods/universe wants them to be alone. If one believes they were created by a being of love, I find it illogical to believe that this same being/entity would wants us to walk the earth alone without the same love he/she/it granted us.
Grant Mealey
Well not my path…….good for him
Martin Talbot
Celibacy is optional, I prefer to be my unique self ! LOL
David McClary Norton
I say he slips and falls on a dick within a year.
John Malin
As a sex happy slut for 70 plus years, I’d say Seth Crocker it’s your choice, but unless you are a priest, celibacy is a waste. If its what you want fine, but misery loves company, maybe that’s why you want others to join you.
Robert Barber
Whatever?Who cares if he prefers to torture himself?
Mark Pointon
LOL…
Luis H. Lopez
Go sit on a dildo it will make you feel great .
Nathaniel McManus
I will not bottom for Jesus.
tr6886
I think it’s because he can’t find a guy interesting in him.
Josh447
It’s so pitiful to see people so confused.
Allan Gray
Jesus!
KerryB
Further proof that religion is the only contagious form of mental illness.
etseq
This guy is one of a several recent bloggers who are the “new faces” of anti-gay evangelicalism now that reparative therapy has been so discredited – think of it an ex-gay 2.0 Same homophobic theology that informs the same opposition to any meaningful LGBT civil rights laws/policies, which is now couched as religious exemptions so extreme that they render any legal protections little more than voluntary. This self-hating eunuch is actually working for Mark Yarhouse at Regent, who is the “leading” evangelical quack pseudo scientist with a checkered history of producing fraudulent studies claiming ex-gay therapy was effective. Yarhouse has always struck me as a closet case so maybe this twink will pry open that closet door and Regent will turn on him ASAP…
Josh447
You feel God by removing from your beliefs what God (pure love and peace only) is not; insanity. Suffering and sacrafice are insane. That is what the fake non God in the Bible wants you to do. Be insane. Why else did the Jews crucify Jesus? He was too clean. Not from not having sex, but by not judging it. And He taught we are all God. Truth about God really pushed buttons.
Vince Flaherty
Sounds like somebody put him up to this. Be happy if your gay be happy if your straight. If he’s happy being brain washed by exodus. I feel bad for him. Life is too short for self hate
Xzamilio
I used to struggle with same sex interactions, too… but my butthole has really loosened up over the past few years.
Yeah, I’m joking for this joke of a man and his joke of a belief. Yeah, they are his personal beliefs… and since he put them out there for the public to scrutinize, I think they are dumb and disheartening.
@KerryB: And apparently one of the last few socially acceptable forms of mental illness.
Xzamilio
@Josh447: I’m sorry, what? Whatever you smoke or snort or swallow, email me your contact. I’m good for it, I promise.
Nate Topaha
Lol!
Dave Basora
How would he knows how Jesus felt?
Dennis Sandoval
he looks unstable
Stephen Bate
i guess celibacy would make you feel like homer simpson to
Stache
“his deeply-held belief that in order to have a genuine relationship with God one must make sacrifices.”
Does anyone really need to read further when they say this. Clearly the guy is completely fucked up in the head with more issue the a magazine stand.
martinbakman
1st, jeebuz was a philosopher. A man. All his magic sh!t was dreamed up and added to the bible centuries after he died. So I doubt he was celibate
All religions claim God is just testing gay people to prove they love God by avoiding same sex love.
So, like I always say, fvck religion and this clown too.
Stache
@Scribe38: “it can be “liberating” to anyone struggling with same-sex attraction.”
He’s a complete idiot. Liberating? LMAO. He takes the same language as the bigots want him too. Notice no such restriction on hetero’s.
paulbear30
Good for him. I just hope he doesn’t miss the deepest implications of what’s being revealed to him – that one must be gay first, before discovering this secret and having the full ability to commit to it. Therefore we are actually at an advantage. I think a lot of gay people are on this path but get caught up in the cycle again by falling for the allure of “the family” – the most important idol of Christian materialists. They conceive of male and female from a carnal, non spiritual perspective meanwhile presenting a face of purity and “prosperity” . From a spiritual perspective, sex is a state of being that can never be ACTualized unless by outside divine forces, such as the virgin birth. One of my favorite passages is when Jesus spoke to Salome about reproduction and undoing the doings of the woman (or in other words the spiritual forces that influence her)
Eddie Nieves
Pobrecito. Why would anyone want to be like or feel like anyone else even if it’s “Jesus” when one should be happy and content with oneself. Cause….. that’s what “God” would want. RIGHT???
Realitycheck
Let me get this right, he is crazy, a bigoted christian freak, sexually repressed and emotionally underdeveloped, he is ugly, and he has a dream romance with a dead guy AKA an imaginary god/character.
Glücklich
Putting aside the fact this guy’s a nutcase, celibacy isn’t terrible or a Herculean effort depending on where one is one’s life.
The end of a relationship left me confused and bitter in my mid-20’s. I’d just started a new job and didn’t want to be bothered with dating or pretending to be nice. Hook-ups would have been easy but I didn’t want easy just then and wanted to think on how the next couple of years should come together.
I went without for just about three years and I was fine. I really *learned* how to be alone during that time in a way I think a lot of my contemporaries can’t operate. Dating and sex just weren’t priorities during that time in the same way running a marathon isn’t a priority to others (including me). Didn’t stop me from living. And when I thought, “OK, that’s enough,” it’s not like I’d forgotten how to do it.
Dennis Patrick Ellis
bin there, done with that .
Aromaeus
I’ve made a few guys call on a higher power while I was balls deep so I think I’m good.
paulbear30
@Dennis Patrick Ellis: But the truth was too much to bear. Understandable! But remember it’s not done with you. 😉
dwes09
@Josh447: The Jews DIDN’T Crucify Jesus you ASSHOLE. Judea was an occupied territory, subject to Roman law. Why do you suppose the Temple was destroyed only 35 years after Jesus was murdered?
Jesus was murdered for sedition, crucifixion was a punishment used by the Romans for political prisoners. And as a Jew, it was very, very unlikely that Jesus was either celibate or unmarried. I’m willing to bet the more complete versions of his life disappeared, either before or certainly AT the Council of Nicea (325 AD) where the trinity, the virgin birth and the divinity of Jesus were decided on by vote for their political/dogmatic value!
Baba Booey Fafa Fooey
I bet this guy is addicted to porn. Gay men with intimacy issues because of their sexuality tend to be porn addicts. This is my observation. I have seen and known quite a few. Can’t be a coincidence.
dwes09
@paulbear30: “From a spiritual perspective, sex is a state of being that can never be ACTualized unless by outside divine forces, such as the virgin birth.”
You realize I hope that this statement is totally devoid of any meaning! Especially to the majority of the world who are not (and have neither desire or reason to be) Christian. The Christian hatred for the flesh is grotesque to most people , and is one of the reasons that faith has been such a scourge throughout history. The highest think that a “devout” Christian can hope for is to be brutally tortured to death for their religious beliefs, or in a pinch simply killed for them.
dwes09
@paulbear30: @Dennis Patrick Ellis: But the truth was too much to bear. Understandable! But remember it’s not done with you. 😉
One of the hallmarks of Christians is that they mistakenly think they understand where other people are coming from, and what is best for them. You display that quite brazenly here, having no idea what Mr. Ellis does or does not understand, nor what truth he might have found. He speaks from his experience, not yours, and it is very unlikely that he needs you to interpret it for him.
dwes09
“It’s an amazing model of what we can do,” Crocker says. “It can be a really fulfilling life when we feel called to something outside of ourselves.”
I find it very sad that this man is so damaged he feels he can only serve the greater good by denying himself intimacy, comfort, sexual pleasure and so on. What is worse is that would not have been a concept familiar to Jesus growing up. Celibacy was not valued and a religious leader who was a virgin would have had a hard time finding a following (which might explain why the the early Christians dropped the dietary laws so they could convert gentiles). These days in Reform Congregations, it is preferred that Gay or Lesbian Rabbis or Cantors be married just as their hetero counterparts, they can better serve their congregations if they live in the real world.
Ben Stimpson
I hope that one day he can find it in himself to be who he is without any sort of apology to others.
Saskia Vreedenburgh Brink
OK so pray how does Jesus feel I can’t say I noticed that sensation before
Joe Bump
I have been celibate for 6 yrs… Don’t feel like jesus… This story is hog wash!!!
Kal Astoga
This dude is dysfunctional
paulbear30
The “real world”…LOL The irony here is that you probably fail to see how you are in fact proving the true reason gay people (though not so called at the time) have been maligned throughout – because they were the original trailblazers against the materialism and hedonic treadmill. Apparently being pro-gay is to be like the “hetero counterparts” in all the worse ways. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em? LOL
José Maria Montargil
Good for you.
Andrew Button
I feel sorry for them because they self-hate but it’s worse when they spread that poison to other people
Roy Hortman
Please
Brian
He’s absolutely entitled to choose celibacy. Just like people choose to be gay-identifying, he has a choice to be celibate.
I find it incredibly hypocritical when gay-identifying men criticize those who choose the celibate path in life.
DCguy
@Brian:
No he isn’t choosing it, he is forced into it because he has been told everything else is evil.
Brian, have you ever posted something in here that wasn’t fully supportive of people who hate gays? You were supportive of Kim Davis, of the anti-gay GOP and now ex-gays.
As for what the man in the article is talking about, it’s exactly what the bigoted religions all try to force their gay members to do. If you are a Mormon who admits to pre marital sex they push you to get married, if you are GAY they push your family to disown you unless you promise celibacy.
onthemark
@paulbear30: “…outside forces, such as the virgin birth.”
“SUCH AS”?
Wasn’t the virgin birth supposed to be a one-time, UNIQUE thing? That was the whole point, right? What other examples do you have that are “such as” the virgin birth??? More examples, please, they must be very entertaining!
Sluggo2007
With a dopey face like that, he need not worry about staying celibate. Just one look at that face and you can tell that his elevator doesn’t go all the way up.
onthemark
@Brian: They are not criticizing him (or any celibate people, really) simply for being celibate. They are criticizing him here for BRAGGING about being celibate. That is quite a different concept.
When someone is quietly celibate and doesn’t want a fucking medal for it, I doubt anybody minds. Or even notices.
I realize that a lot of people here suspect you of being celibate when you brag about your sex life, but that’s a whole different subject!
onthemark
If he want to be celibate in the long term, the least he can do is get into making really cool Shaker style furniture.
Ashfaq Shóhåñ
Ex of ex-gay lol , now thats real …. and celibacy thats good if you have asexual “genes” to calm you up
Michael Claypoole
He needs to be careful around Easter then.
Thomas Hogueisson
Faggot PLEASE.
rand503
@Baba Booey Fafa Fooey: Tis true. I wonder if celebacy is as “liberating” for heteros too?
if this guy thinks that the religious right wing will accept him as a celebrate gay, he’s in for a rude awakening!
Chris
@Stache: I’d like him to explain the Origen of that belief.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Origen
Glücklich
@onthemark:
Or travel and focus on his career. S’what I did while I abstained. Loved it. Love what I have now *more* but it wasn’t a big deal.
@Thomas Hogueisson:
GOL = Guffaw Out Loud
Josh447
Zzamillio,
Leading a non-judgmental life (mental illness) is not an easy path. That’s what the God of Jesus is and that is what Jesus preached, not what the man behind the curtain wants you to believe. That is why he was crucified as that was his message, a message diametrically opposed to Judaism. If it were as easy as a drug, please, sign me up!
dwes09
Sedition, blasphemy etc, call the reason what you like, the Jewish elite were the instigators of the crucifixion as Jesus was teaching a different non-Jewish message about God, that the Jews didn’t like, and that got the Sanhedrin riled due to the potential loss of cash flow and control, and that’s what got him crucified. Jesus got himself killed because He called Himself God, and that was blasphemy punishable by death in that religion, tho Romans could have cared less. Since the Sanhedrin couldn’t do the murder due to Roman law, they hyped the Romans to do it via sedition. The part the Bible conveniently leaves out (due to the Council of Nicea) is that He taught we are all God, our core, our souls, of pure peace and love and non-judgment. That was the teaching goal of Jesus. Not the opposite.
No doubt the Council of Nicea was the nail in the coffin regarding the true work of Jesus. Authentic Christianity was little known then and that still holds today. Jesus got a bad rap and was falsely framed. And now the false money making man made judgmental hell fire Jewish non-god now rolls on, to our descent. It is our job to relegate it to the dist bin of history, and get on with the real message Jesus taught, for humanity’s own good. Then the poor guy in this article could drop the lie and get on with his life. It would cancel out the entire current sexual culture war and resolve eons of confusion post haste. Now that would be something eh?
Rich Donatello Barrie
He finally reached Narnia then?
Ron King
Even Yeezus wouldn’t deny his true sexuality
Martin Steele
Oh… he sounds like a fun seduction
Dave084
This quack can choose to live in shit and deny a vital part of his identity if he wants but my fear is for the damage he will do to others if he succeeds at becoming a clinical psychologist.
dommyluc
Crucifixion can also make you feel like Jesus. I’ve got a nail gun and a couple of 2x4s. Take a walk over here, bitch.
SarcasaticMisanthrope
@Nathaniel McManus: I’ll bottom for Jesus if he only has a really big dick and floods me with the holy spirit 🙂
Ogre Magi
I don’t think this will have quite the same appeal to Straight parents who might be inclined to send their gay under 18 kids to ex-gay therapy “So they will be normal, get married and I can have grandkids”
CodyJ
Im terribly sorry about your small pen..
Richard Lee Zweiben Klein
He can stop having sex but just look at him! He’s still gay and is severely lacking in the self esteem department. He believes everything some no body tells him. A tragedy.
brandon
good for him. he sounds happy.
Gary Hecklinger
He just can’t laid is all!
Dirtybird_Mary
What a fucking moron! A self-loathing, kook-aid swilling jack-ass…. Poor thing is so damaged from religion, he just can’t seem to get past all that shit, & it has carried over into his late 20’s… He OBVIOUSLY can’t rationalize his ‘ongoing’ homosexuality (cause it sure ain’t going away anytime soon). He so needs to get over himself, chuck the gospel into the bin! PLUS he’s a psyche major?! – oh GREAT! Just what we need! – it’s like the perfect storm, crazy + crazy = dangerously crazy.
Dirtybird_Mary
@dommyluc: hahaHAHA!! That’s such a good one! I laughed my ass off when I read your comment! Love it Love it!!!
Xzamilio
@Josh447: Cool story, bro.
Rusty66
A Psych major at REGENTS???!!!
Pastafarius help him.
I haven’t have sex in twenty years due to age and multiple health problems. I miss it. I am still JOYFULLY gay, though … THAT informs my spirituality and general outlook on life.
Ashke113
It’s bitches like you all that are the reason everyone else views us as catty bitchy fags. Gods forbid one of us steps out of line and doesn’t go to clubs fuck any stray gay they see do any drug put in front of them or fart glitter. This guy is brave enough to open his life to the public and all you bitches can do is tear him down for having a faith believing in it and being happy celibate. Grow up and try a little faith yourself some of you could use it…….
OzJosh
There’s no evidence that the Christ of the Bible was celibate. There is amble evidence that he was schizophrenic, and suffering from auditory and visual delusions. He was also frequently overcome by fits of extreme rage and melancholy. All in all, a deeply troubled, almost indisputably psychotic person. So, knock yourself out – be as christ-like as you like. It’s no badge of honour.
Evji108
I thought cellrebate was when you turn in your old cell phone for cash.
Markajv
Spent 25 years Identifying as Gay. Realized that I had a lot more going on. I honestly did not enjoy the “Sex” but the companionship and the romantics parts I did. But also with women. I am Atheist and chose to be celibate close to 10 yrs ago. Now I don’t have to feel the “Pressure” from people.I don’t have to have a label really. Do I still watch porn? yes Straight, Gay, and Bi, and I still beat off. But I am done with actual sex with a human being. It does nothing for me. BUT I am not asexual as I do get aroused by men and women.
Markajv
@Ashke113: Welcome to the Gay Community. I have dealt with that for 25 years. L8er! Have fun infighting and segregating yourselves rather than standing as one.
Markajv
I am appalled, but not surprised, that I see all this hate from Gay people. They want to be accepted as equals and fought for equality and are still fighting but they come on here and other sites and totally trash the person or for their story or Hate on a commentator’s opinion which does not conform to your way of living. It is absolutely disgusting. Like a bunch of high school girls or boys who have so many insecurities they have to deflect them and try to make other people feel like shit. You guys who had so much hate are really, really a pathetic representation of Gay society. Really makes me sad. You are doing exactly what was done to you. Hypocrites!
Zekester
“We tend to put too much focus on our relationships—all my identity, all my worth comes from this other person. Your life doesn’t begin when you’re in a relationship.”
That’s pretty rich coming from a man who says, “all my identity, all my worth” comes from an IMAGINARY friend whose told him that his nature is evil and that he shouldn’t have sex or intimate relationships.
Religion is mental illness!
Zekester
@Markajv: You’re full of shit! You make it sound like oppressing and challenging oppression are the same things. False equivalence.
Or you’re just trolling.
Markajv
@Zekester: @Zekester: That’s your perception.
Markajv
@Zekester: I am an Atheist however everyone is allowed their own beliefs. Who am I to say what is right or wrong? I believe in belief. For you to say “Religion is mental illness!” is your belief, but with over 4600 religions in the world that’s several billion people you think are mentally ill. That’s sad.
inbama
@Ashke113:
He definitely made the right decision, and you should follow his example.
Me2
If it works for him, who am I to try to change him. My only issue with his “epiphany” is that people will use it to try to change me. The world doesn’t respect the fact that gays are not a monolith and that sometimes the only thing we have in common is our same sex attraction.
paulbear30
Small penis..can’t get laid..self-hating yadda yadda yadda
This is the ugliness that the culture of sex positivism gets you. Fact is that sex is a mixed bad and celibacy is a great way to separate what’s true and what’s deception.
@onthemark:
Outside divine forces is what I wrote..and that which was emphasized. You didn’t read it correctly! But yes, it was *supposed* to be a one time thing, but some people just don’t learn.
@Markajv: That’s interesting. I just can’t see atheism fitting with any form of asceticism, but given that you choose not to label, I think it’s quite likely that you were inspired by a positive spiritual force, but you didn’t recognize it as such.
onthemark
@paulbear30: “Outside divine forces,” “such as” what?
I read it correctly. You gave the virgin birth – a unique, one-time occurrence from two millennia ago (assuming it happened) – as AN example. You’re avoiding the issue, probably because you don’t have even one other, more recent example. So what’s another example?
paulbear30
@onthemark: Wow, you are really dense huh? I AM NOT DEFINING “UNIQUE, ONE TIME OCCURRENCE”. If anything I’m defining miracle, in which you likely don’t believe (moreover that is happens more than ONCE), so why I am I wasting my time with you? Have a good day! 😉
Markajv
@paulbear30: How does MY Atheism not fit into
as·cet·i·cism
??sed??siz?m/
noun
severe self-discipline and avoidance of all forms of indulgence, typically for religious reasons.
“acts of physical asceticism”
Are you saying I cannot be an Athiest and still be open to the fact that my friends and family have their own beliefs and it’s not in me to judge them for that? (They don;t judge me. My closest friends are Jewish, Catholic, Christian, Agnostics, Muslim, Atheists,,,, I love them for THEM not their religious or Political beliefs. I do not worship any deity, I have studied many religions and I admire “Faith” I think you’re inhuman if you only pick and choose who can be in your life only if they share your beliefs. That’s sick…..what’s not sick is Open Mindedness. Would stop a lot of bad shit if people jusy did their own thing,
Markajv
Being constantly offended does not mean that you are right…..It just means you’re to narcissistic to tolerate opinions different than your own.
Josh447
Of course Jesus was celibate. He’d sellabit and give the rest away for free.
Josh447
Don’t you dicks know any thing?
paulbear30
@Markajv: No, I don’t think I said that. But I welcome you to explain how you arrived at that.
And the reason I said it doesn’t fit is because atheism is the denial of anything metaphysical including, but not limited to God and god(s). Although defined differently atheism is related to philosophical materialism.
In fact the former seems to be informed by the latter. The current scientific viewpoint is very materialistic. The famous “Dawkins” even state that “nature doesn’t do limits”. She is a selfish, slave-driving, carnivorous, gluttonous b–h! 😉
greenmusic23f
But if everyone is celibate, where will we get babies??? lol
Markajv
@paulbear30: Where did I say that I am not denying anything? I am sure you live your life by exact definitions. You said “because atheism is the denial of anything metaphysical including, but not limited to God and god(s). Although defined differently atheism is related to philosophical materialism.” –
I do not believe in any God or Gods, but that does not mean I can’t have friends and family who do. – Never once did I say I was an Atheist who believed in anything Godlike or Spiritual. I said I beleive that people are allowed their beliefs. I am not one to push or fight my beliefs on anyone. And I honestly don’t care what they think of my beliefs. I am lucky enough to have friends from 1st grade, still, who are my friends because of ME and not my beliefs and vice versa. I have no idea where you thought you were going. – “Philosophical materialism” (physicalism) is the metaphysical view that there is only one substance in the universe and that substance is physical or material. What does that have to do with anything I said? Believing something to be Physical OR Material. HUH@!?
onthemark
@paulbear30: This is not a site for discussing *homoiousios* versus *homoousios.* This is a site for discussing homos!
And it would be a miracle if you wrote a post that wasn’t incomprehensible gibberish.
@Markajv: Thank you for defining what “philosophical materialism” is since he drags that into literally every comment thread he participates in. He didn’t make clear at first that he’s a religious kook. But not a standard one. It’s like he’s some kind of time-traveling hermit “heretic” from the 4th or 5th century, on the run from the Roman Christian authorities. I’m starting to imagine him as St. Simeon Stylites, sitting atop a pillar (phallic symbol) for five years… as long as the pillar has internet access!
Markajv
@onthemark: Thanks man. When I feel like I am attacked by someone who has no clue what words they are using I feel the need to be a grade school teacher. HAHA. Appreciate your comment.
paulbear30
@Markajv: Please explain this bizarre tangent you continue to go on about your friends and family. You are the one making no sense here. I did not say that you believed in Gods or anything spiritual. In fact, I confirmed that you DO NOT! You need to understand this thing called context before you reply to comments. @onthemark: Incomprehensible to a fool such as you yourself. Oops there’s that “such as” again. Try not to get confused this time!
paulbear30
@Markajv: So you feel attacked? LMAO!! Buddy, I suggest you find yourself a thesaurus before you attempt to *educate* me.
paulbear30
PS “missedthemark”, I see little “discussion”. I do see a lot of frivolity, political correctness, and desperation for validation