October is more than halfway over and we almost forgot: It’s Ex-Gay Awareness Month!
How could we let something so important slip our minds? Shame on us. Perhaps those pesky “fart demons” have been tinkering with our memories again.
Now, most “ex-gays” have a similar story: Once upon a time, they engaged in “sinful” behavior. Their bodies and hearts said “yes,” but their minds said “no.” What they were doing was “wrong,” so they made a conscious decision to behave differently and now — ta-dah! — they’re happier than ever. To prove they’ve successfully transitioned into heterosexuals, they’ve gotten married and had children. You see? They’re straight now! Honest!
Despite global consensus among doctors and scientists that being gay is totally normal and that one cannot willingly change their sexuality, these guys all insist otherwise. So we’ll have to take them at their word. At the end of the day, all we really we want is for everyone to be happy and at peace with themselves. If these fellas say they’re happy living a lie in their newfound roles as strapping heterosexual family men, so be it.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Check out these five former homosexuals we’ve reported on over the years and what they’ve been up to lately.
Ben Hobson
The Hollister-wearing father of two had everyone in tears with his emotional coming out story posted on YouTube back in May of this year.
In the video, Hobson detailed his struggles with losing his mother, marrying a woman he didn’t truly love, developing a drinking problem, and coming to terms with the root of his unhappiness: That he had been living a lie. He was gay. And it was time for him to start owning his truth.
Five months later, Hobson abandoned that story. He deleted the video, which had garnered more than half a million hits, and released a shoulder-shrugging statement claiming he’d mistaken a “bromance” for “gay feelings.” Despite “fooling around” with the guy, he insisted it meant nothing and that he was just “confused.”
“Turns out my judgement was wrong,” he said, before blaming the whole thing on “bipolar genes” passed down from his dead mother and reminding everyone that #sexualityisfluid.
Robert Oscar Lopez
The “ex-gay bisexual” and crusader against gay parents was, himself, raised by a lesbian. Evidently, however, the two don’t get along, as evidenced by Lopez’s constant trashing of his mother to the media.
Lopez became a golden child among social conservatives when he claimed that growing up in a same-sex household had damaged him, calling it “child abuse,” and saying it’s what caused his own “adult social dysfunction.” (A.K.A. His bisexuality. Or is it ex-bisexuality? We’re not sure.) In March of this year, he doubled down on his position when he compared child surrogacy to slavery.
When he’s not airing out his mommy issues for the world to see, he’s self-publishing gay erotic fiction. His novels Johnson Park: Five Gay Boys, One Street, Too Much Shade and The Melville Affair: Lust, Intrigue, and Terror Latin Style were both released last year. Needless to say, neither cracked any bestsellers lists.
Chris Doyle
The Voice of the Voiceless president spoke with us in 2013 about the struggles “ex-gay” men such as himself face on a daily basis: mockery, disrespect, online name-calling, et cetera. At the time, Doyle said he was determined to fight for the rights of “ex-gays” everywhere.
Well, it seems the married father of three is a man of his word. In addition to keeping Voice of the Voiceless afloat, last fall he conducted a secret undercover investigation to see if the health centers at Virginia’s public universities were providing adequate information on ways to become “ex-gay.”
Earlier this month, he coordinated the second annual “Ex-Gay Awareness Month Conference” in an undisclosed Washington, D.C. location. The weekend included lectures, panel discussions, luncheons, and a special screening of “ex-gay” propaganda film “Sing Over Me” with born again singer-songwriter Dennis Jernigan.
Antoine Dodson
Mr. Dodson rose to fame in 2010 with his sassy “Hide your wife! Hide your kids! Hide your husband ’cause they’re raping everybody!” statement made on a local Huntsville, AL news program.
He became somewhat of an underground gay celebrity until May of last year, when he revealed he was “no longer into homosexuality” and had become a Black Hebrew Israelite.
Said he: “I have to renounce myself, I’m no longer into homosexuality I want a wife and family, I want to multiply and raise and love my family that I create.”
One year later, Dodson announced he had officially produced an heir. He tweeted a picture of himself and his newborn son, along with the caption: “He’s here, I’m officially a dad, 6 lbs 7 oz 19 in long!!”
He later told TMZ he believes the “gay lifestyle” is “wrong” and “anti-religious.” He also said that if his son grows up to be gay, he “wouldn’t be shocked” but that “I would try and get him help.”
Alan Chambers
The former Exodus International president claims to have “overcome” his attraction to men before marrying his wife, Leslie, and adopting two children. He spent years trying to help other gay men overcome unwanted sexual desires as well, before deciding that, actually, there was no “cure” for being gay then promptly issuing a public apology and closing down Exodus International for good. Today, he says he is “haunted” by the harm he caused the gay community over the years, but he maintains that he is still happily married to Leslie. Oh, and he still thinks guys are totally sexy, too.
Related stories:
Ex-Gay Pride Rally Expected To Draw “Thousands” Attracts Less Than Ten People
NG22
This is all just sad and sickening. SMH.
Trippy
20 bucks says three of them have had at least one same-sex encounter in the past 12 months.
tdx3fan
I don’t think you can actually say their is global consensus among doctors and scientist that one cannot change their sexuality. It is much, much more complicated that that. However, there is consensus that homosexuality is normal and that mental and medical health officials should not attempt to get engaged in changing such behavior.
Steve Rider
Mr Doyle wants to defend the rights of ex-gays everywhere. I did not see a list of the legal rights he is currently denied, or which rights teh gays want to take away.
Gothrykke
It was such a shame about Antoine and Ben, but the other three are just garbage. Tell me when they stop sipping the coolaid.
AtticusBennett
http://lancesrhodes.tumblr.com
and here’s another one. he contacted me on youtube, being offended by my video rebuttal to “celibate because gay sex is a sin” dude Grady Smith. Lance Rhodes, “sketchboii”, who was angry that i wouldn’t “let him into my heart” and how
“mean” i was for informing him that no amount of prayer will make him straight.
check out his artwork. the GAYEST depictions of Jesus you will ever see.
http://www.youtube.com/user/sk3tchboii09
yes yes. being gay is a sin, gays who act on it “go to Hell”, and he’s only gay because “he was denied male affection as a kid”
OH, and he’s inhabited by a “spirit of effeminacy” and he’s praying to get rid of it.
RIGHT.
there are no such things as ex-gays. only sad homosexuals who can’t think for themselves, who pretend to not be gay because that’s the only way their heinous hateful families stop hounding them.
KwisatzHaderach
Rapes, ex-gays, that couple in Idaho… this site’s really getting to be a downer.
kfolger
I do not think it is fair to put Ben Hobson on this list. He is/was not at all disrespectful to gays, or even said there was anything wrong with being gay. He just said he realized he was not oriented that way. As was said, sexuality is fluid.
Stache99
@AtticusBennett: Ex gays are a myth for con men. You’re either gay, bi, or straight. It’s as silly as saying your ex straight.
I love them though. They’re so damn transparent and easy to make fun of. Lets see. Add a heavy dose of religion along with a intolerant family and presto….
Stache99
@Stache99: The real fun is watching them do the arm chair psycho analysis. Never mind the real ones with a degree are saying they’re completely normal. The usual’s: I was a junkie, mommy loved me too much, daddy was never there, I confused my male friends friendships for sex.
The only ones that seem to have a problem with it are their bigoted family and friends who they desperately want acceptance from. Sad.
AtticusBennett
@Stache99: TRUTH – behind every “ex-gay” is the family that made them feel like shit for being gay, or will flat-out not accept them as gay. thats’ it, that’s all.
it’s amazing how they choose the bible verses to back up their inferiority complexes, too.
that guy, Lance Rhodes, that i linked to – he cited leviticus to me- and when i said “do you follow all the other levitical laws?” he deflected and went on and on about how “i just don’t understand the true gospel”
*sigh*
and he’s yet another self-hating homo who never learned to think for himself. if these idiots want to waste their own lives, i’m fine with that …. but the moment they start evangelizing their lives, and promote “ex-gay” B.S. well…. the gloves come off, and i will utterly tear that s**t down.
Stache99
@AtticusBennett: The problem with Lance is that he’s used to his cult and not dealing with someone on the outside that actually uses logic. They’re used to easy explanations where no extra thinking is required. Anything that doesn’t support their belief will just be ignored.
That’s religion in a nutshell. Some might call it having faith while others just call it being willfully ignorant.
Stache99
@AtticusBennett: I do get your point though. They always follow the same script. Momentary deer in the spotlight look then immediately change the subject when they know their sh*t has been called out.
AtticusBennett
@Stache99: YUP – plus, then they deflect into “how intolerant” we are for refusing to concede that we’re sinful abominations.
like i said, they’re free to waste and ruin their own lives. but if they try to spread that lie? i’ll knock ’em out.
Tommysole
I had sex with a guy that was a reformed straight guy, reformed meaning…….he had a g.f. that was never satisfying him, no anal, no head, no deep kissing, kind of like screwing a wet dishcloth in bed.
Now, he is out and proud.
these 5 jerk wads are an affront to the LGBT world.
ppp111
I guess not everyone is tough enough to be out. Personally, I feel sorry for them. Maybe in time, they’ll all have the courage to really be themselves. I wouldn’t hold my breath though.
@Tommysole:
It seems like that guy you slept with can give these people lessons on how to be themselves!
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
MEMO TO “EX GAYS”: Pssst, its not the 1950’s any more. You can come out!
Ronbo
Ex-gays:
You can also meow like a cat. But that doesn’t make you a cat. You can deny your sexuality; but, that will not straight.
LadyL
@AtticusBennett: @Stache99: Agreed! The bible-thumping gets especially irritating to me in that these folks tend to completely ignore any other biblical passages and quotations that might conceivably be applied to THEM:
“Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves.” –Leviticus 25:44
“Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate but also to those who are harsh.” — Colossians 3:22
“Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.” –Ephesians 6:55
“teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, to not talk back to them.” — Titus 2:9
The above are from the NIV (New International Version) Bible but appear with varied wording in the King James, New Standard, New American, New King James and New Living Translation bibles as well.
I point this out to my African-American family and friends who persist in using scripture to explain their “issues” with homosexuality, reminding them that from slavery’s 1619 North American beginnings through the Jim Crow years of the 1960’s these words were used to justify the attitudes, social customs, and laws that kept black Americans in subservient positions in practically every aspect of American life. That allowed violent reprisals against any of one of us brave enough (or sick and tired enough) to challenge and defy those attitudes, customs and laws. Lynchings, fire-bombings, beatings, police dogs and hoses turned on schoolchildren. Our oppressors USED THE BIBLE to rationalize and sanctify their determination to deny the equality, dignity and freedom of fellow human beings!
Do you see the parallels? I ask them.
Silence. Sound of crickets.
Occasionally a breakthrough, if grudging, especially with younger people. Too often though, I’m met with defensive cries of “It’s not the same thing!” and “You can’t compare them!”
Or deflection and a rush to change the subject while seeking to assure me that “they personally have nothing against gay people! Really!”
Aggravating. (Really!)
SaraYork
They need to read the A Southern Thing series. You can’t pray it away. Poor guys are delusional.
Hillers
@kfolger: Gotta agree there. I think he set himself up when he took to YouTube and, in essence, made himself a celebrity of sorts. He didn’t bag on gays like the rest of the assholes on this list. Maybe he just got a little overwhelmed with it all.
DonW
@KwisatzHaderach: Queerty is a “downer” for exposing examples of the homophobia that threatens us? Personally I’d rather be made aware of those issues than see more mindless blather about a glimpse of some straight celebrity’s dick or paid-placement fake news for a “Stoli” beauty pageant.
Ogre Magi
Except for the guy at the top of the list, they are all ugly as sin
TomMc
@Ogre Magi: Haha. Agreed. Though I think when he wrote about being ‘ex-gay’, he confused “bipolar” with “borderline”.
(… not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
Saint Law
Real ‘ex-gays’, that is: men who had homosexual experiences but decided they weren’t after all gay, don’t tend to make a song and dance about it; anymore than gay men whose first sexual experiences were with women.
The ones who want the world to know they’ve ‘changed’- never ever do.
gayambassador
Ex-gay (overcome unwanted same sex attraction) stories are all pretty much the same. In the video below is someone who proclaims they are ‘ex-gay’, that is, changed from gay to now being a heterosexual, married person. The common themes in these stories include:
It’s my parents fault I’m gay – my father didn’t love me and/or my mother was overbearing.
I was sexually abused
I hated myself as a gay person
I had substance abuse issues and mental health problems
My life was completely messed up and was really disillusioned the ‘gay lifestyle’ (whatever that is)
I had numerous meaningless sexual encounters and therefore lacked any sense of morality or self respect
I couldn’t maintain a long term relationship/relationships
Testimonials are often sensationalized and over dramatized. In this story below two 11-12 year old boys playing/experimenting together is called sexual abuse. Sometimes people talk about having been drug addicts but in truth they were drug users.This is obviously different but not as dramatic.
There is no mention of falling in love with wife or husband. This is what God wanted apparently.
The person now has a ministry that rescues or works with people struggling with ‘unwanted same sex attraction’. This creates added pressure to maintain the façade or live in denial or they will lose their identity/ministry/source of income
Read more herehttp://gayambassador.blogspot.com.au/2011/07/common-elements-in-ex-gay-stories.html
NoCagada
@KwisatzHaderach: Well, honey, there’s always TIGERBEAT
msfrost
How can someone who doesn’t exist, have rights?
enlightenone
@Trippy: Not much of a gambler; neither am I given the twisted lies these pathetic repressed adolescent boys boast!
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
@Ogre Magi: Guarantee thats the only place he will ever be considered a top :p
sangsue
Always know who your enemies are. Always.
Besides, an Ex-Gay is someone whose love from their family and/or church overrides their lust and need for same sex intimacy.
When they’ve met THE ONE, it won’t matter.
seaguy
Stupid closet cases poisoned by organized religion. Pathetic.
Jarrod
Whatever makes them happy. I’m all behind them if it fulfills their lives and satisfies them, it’s THEIR lives, after all. No amount of bashing will do anything, so we might as well just let people be what they choose!
gngd
Saddens me to see the queer community bully folks like Ben Hobson and Antoine Dodson who had the courage to come out as anything other than heterosexual. Since when does our big tent not have room for people who are questioning, confused, or feel that their sexuality is fluid? In a perfect world nobody would ever have to come out as gay or bi, and could just love who they want without being mocked on tabloid websites. This post is clearly written wirh the intention of mocking the ex-gay movement, which is a political entity… But I think it goes too far in mocking ordinary folks struggling with their sexuality in a repressive society. Folks who are probably dealing with some psychological issues as well, so perhaps we could score our political points without doing it at their expense?
enlightenone
@gngd: “But I think it goes too far in mocking ordinary folks struggling with their sexuality in a repressive society. Folks who are probably dealing with some psychological issues as well, so perhaps we could score our political points without doing it at their expense?”
NOT FOR YOUTUBE VIDEOS – confidential psychotherapy services, otherwise THEY open themselves up to public judgment and it is our social responsibility to challenge and repudiate their attempt to????? The fact that you don’t get it makes your judgment suspect. What people, like ALL these guys, is restriction to their social media/Internet access!!!
steveleong
Ex-gay … WTF ! Either you are or you aint … and if you discovered you’re not, YOU NEVER WERE!!! Now go away.
NJjoe
“Ex-Gay” is complete B.S. I don’t care what these back in the closet queens are up to now.
Riotgirl41
I can honestly say I’ve learned a lot from the comments on this topic. Initially the subject is laughable because of all the obvious denial. Still, I was slightly conflicted after reading, since I do know 1 or 2 people who’ve tried gay on- usually earlier in life- but decided that it didn’t fit (FYI- I am not conflicted by ANYONE mentioned in the article, they’re all gay).Those people I’m thinking of still don’t deny same sex attraction, but like Saint Law said, they don’t go around with t-shirts and blogs about how gay they’re not. “Ex-gay” like Ronbo said is pure denial. I also love AtticusBennett’s comments and research, because I truly share that sentiment: live however you choose, until you start spreading your bandwagon lies so you don’t have to live them alone. My claws come out when I see that too. And thank you LadyL for actually using bible quotations to prove a point. I don’t deny that the bible is inspired work, but I think it’s important to talk about who wrote those inspirations and why. In the end, Jesus simply told them all to love your neighbor and love God. He intentionally stopped splitting those hairs the religious right likes to use to control things. They need to be reminded that they skipped a few pages. And thanks to Sangsue also- finding THE ONE was my experience. It’ll clear up that delusional thinking in a heartbeat- literally. I’m glad I checked in today. Thanks for sharing all those intelligent thoughts. I keep coming back to Queerty.
Stache99
@gngd: Courage is not a word I would’ve picked. Cowards is about the only one I can think of. No one would’ve said a thing if they kept it private. However, they wanted the PR and these idiots are train wrecks so of coarse people are going to comment.
Speaking of politics. Wake the eff up. First off Ex Gay isn’t real. It’s political BS term made up by hate groups to further demonize gay people. In other words, why give them any rights or feel sorry for them if people look at it as something that can easily be cured. Look at all those “Ex Gay” people. Ha.
Secondly, their supported financially by hate groups like the Family Research Council. Jeez what a coincidence that their interests align.
Bauhaus
What a load of crap!
The only Ex I’ve ever been aware of is the boyfriend kind.
DarthKitsune
I don’t hate “Ex-Gays” I pity them. I pity that they are so unhappy with who they are, that they will engage in dangerous pseudoscience in order to conform to an ideal they hold in high regard. I hate the fact that they are willing to push their broken-ness onto others and attempt to convert people to their agenda. they don’t appear to believe in live and let live and are convinced that they are correct. “Ex-Gays” are dangerous, and sad, and need intense talk therapy to work through their issues.