PARTY FAIL

Ex-Gay Pride Rally Expected To Draw “Thousands” Attracts Less Than Ten People

ExGay4After planning an ex-gay pride banquet, turning it into “ex-gay month” due to lack of interest, and canceling the entire thing altogether, a number of ex-gay warriors finally got their moment in the spotlight yesterday at the first ever Ex-Gay Pride rally in front of the Supreme Court in Washington, D.C.

The sun was shining, the breeze was warm, and smiles were wide as former gays came together to demand “equal rights” from the “heterophobic” extremist LGBT activists and their “anti-pro choice” agenda. The event, previously expected to draw people “by the thousands,” was enjoyed by all seven people in attendance.

Christopher Doyle, the event’s organizer, told the Christian Post that attendance numbers were low (virtually nonexistent) “because of all this homo-fascism and indoctrination in the media, ex-gays aren’t given a fair shake.”

Joining Doyle at the event were ex-gay activists Greg Quinlan of Parents and Friends of Gays and Ex-Gays (PFOX), Richard Cohen of the International Healing Foundation, Douglas McIntyre of Homosexuals Anonymous, and Chuck Peters, a research assistant to Doyle.

Peters gave one of the more impassioned speeches of the day: “We are ex-queers and we’re not going anywhere so get used to us!,” he shouted, fumbling to catch the pink sequin purse falling out of his mouth.

“Hip hip hurray for ex-gays! Hip hip hurray for ex-gays! Hip hip hurray for ex-gays!”

Next year, perhaps they could spice things up by hiring a Cher impersonator to speak? Better yet, can we just request that Chuck Peters come as Cher? He looks like he has a few good drag tricks up that fabulous sleeve.

[Photo via Right Wing Watch]