celebrity advice

Ex-Lesbian Anne Heche Has Only Terrible Things to Say About Her Ex-Husband (and Marriage!)

One-time lesbian Anne Heche is currently starring as an ex-wife who remarries on HBO’s Hung. Interestingly, she plays the same character in real life. But guess which version of her is a bigger bitch?

Real life Anne Heche! She was on The Letterman’s show last night, warning America, and the show’s host, not to walk down the aisle. It isn’t worth it! It leads to “lazy ass” ex-husbands! (Her words.) Maybe this is a secret, coded message for gays fighting for their right to be miserable? Or a suggestion that Dave get divorced?

Coleman Laffoon, the man Heche ditched Ellen DeGeneres for, at least gave Anne her a son, Homer, before becoming too much for her to deal with; they filed for divorce in January 2007, calling off their five-year marriage. Now he tries to play soccer in tight white shorts and invites Anne to come watch him. (He, uh, responded in a library verse.)

Sometimes crazy person Heche — whose father revealed he was gay before his AIDS death (and who Heche says molested her as a child and gave her herpes), and whose mother is a Christian psychotherapist … good god! — is, clearly, off the chain. Watching this makes us feel uncomfortable. But it’s nice to see crazy ex-lesbians can be just as neurotic as current lesbians!

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  • Cam

    It turns out she lied, her ex is employed, and doesn’t get alimony, just child support because she wasn’t given any custody of her child. Additionally, many exes try to turn their kids against the other parent, but her ex is trying to get her more involved in her kids life by asking if she’ll come out to watch the kids soccer games, and yet she is so self centered and nutty that she is trying to attack him for that? He is well rid of her, and so is Ellen, this woman is a nut-job.

  • Geoff M

    I couldn’t stand her years ago, and nothing has changed. She is a 100% total whackjob.

  • jason

    Anne, darling, you need a rest and a cup of tea.

  • geoff

    Hey, Anne, if you didn’t want to have to pay child support, there’s a way to get around it. It’s called not being an adulteress whore!

  • rudy

    She may be certifiable, but she’s a wonderful actress.
    As far as being an “ex-lesbian,” hasn’t she always called herself bi?

  • Michael vdB

    She wants, she gets, she throws away. I don’t think she knows what she truely wants.

  • Tommy

    Yes, I would say she’s bisexual, not an ex-lesbian. I find her a little crazy, but in all her interviews she has been supportive of gay rights. She is certainly not a fundamentalist Christian type ex-gay. She never denied her relationship with Ellen.
    But I don’t get how her father could be a closet gay and also abuse her sexually. It seems he could be one or the other but not both.

  • ChristopherJ

    She’s not an ex-lesbian, good lord. Thank you Tommy for your kind words. She is into some men and some women. that doesn’t make her crazy.

  • Smartypants


    I’ve worked with a lot of sexual abuse survivors and there are plenty of men married to women who abuse little boys, so it doesn’t surprise me at all that a man who at some point in life identifies as “gay” might also abuse a little girl. Power and control are the turn on for many abusers, not the sex of their target.

  • Tommy

    I don’t think that’s the same. Gay men get married to women because they are in denial about their sexuality and can’t accept who they are and want to appear normal. Trust me, I know since I was once married to a woman a long long time ago. I bet a lot of those men married to women who abuse male children are in denial about their gay desires and express it in appropriately by abusing children. They aren’t really “straight” just because they are married to women.

    If abuse was just about power, then abusers would abuse children of both sexes. From what I read most abusers tend to pick one sex or the other to abuse. Sexual abuse is partly about power but there is a sexual component to it as well.

  • SuperCat

    Wow Anne is kind of scary. Ellen really lucked out with Portia. Whoo boy.

  • Janice McClellan

    If you remember her on “Another World”, the now defunct soap where she played twins Marley and Victoria, you couldn’t help but notice her fingernails were chewed down to the nubs. That’s a sign of something.

  • 1EqualityUSA


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