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Ex-Lesbian Anne Heche Has Only Terrible Things to Say About Her Ex-Husband (and Marriage!)

One-time lesbian Anne Heche is currently starring as an ex-wife who remarries on HBO’s Hung. Interestingly, she plays the same character in real life. But guess which version of her is a bigger bitch?

Real life Anne Heche! She was on The Letterman’s show last night, warning America, and the show’s host, not to walk down the aisle. It isn’t worth it! It leads to “lazy ass” ex-husbands! (Her words.) Maybe this is a secret, coded message for gays fighting for their right to be miserable? Or a suggestion that Dave get divorced?

Coleman Laffoon, the man Heche ditched Ellen DeGeneres for, at least gave Anne her a son, Homer, before becoming too much for her to deal with; they filed for divorce in January 2007, calling off their five-year marriage. Now he tries to play soccer in tight white shorts and invites Anne to come watch him. (He, uh, responded in a library verse.)

Sometimes crazy person Heche — whose father revealed he was gay before his AIDS death (and who Heche says molested her as a child and gave her herpes), and whose mother is a Christian psychotherapist … good god! — is, clearly, off the chain. Watching this makes us feel uncomfortable. But it’s nice to see crazy ex-lesbians can be just as neurotic as current lesbians!