EXCLUSIVE: Ten Ways Madonna Is “Bringing Gay To The Super Bowl,” Revealed

One of Madonna‘s dancers was overheard saying that, when she plays the half-time show, Her Madgesty is “bringing gay to the Super Bowl,” according to the Daily News.

Queerty called up a well placed source in the Gay Mafia and got even more scoop. Here’s ten ways that Madonna will gay up the Straightest Day of the Year:

  1. Expose one of her bulging pectoral muscles
  2. Triple kiss with Chely Wright and Rosie O’Donnell
  3. Demand her waiting room plays the club remix of “It’s Not Right But It’s Okay” on repeat
  4. Hire a dance troupe of barely legal Latinos who all have dated aging pop stars (Casper Smart, Jesus Luz, Brahim Zaibat, etc.)
  5. Talk thinly veiled shit about “has-been old queens” and “reductive c*nts” in a rap interlude
  6. Encourage spectators to switch from Bud Light to mimosas
  7. Dress up as the Wicked Witch of the West. Oh, wait.
  8. Apologize publicly to both of her estranged brothers (the gay one and the homeless one)
  9. Comment on how Tim Tebow is “totally f*ckable” while singing “Like A Virgin”
  10. Perform at the Super Bowl


Sounds like the Sunday after next will be pretty damned gay.

Photo: The Weinstein Company