holiday, celibate

Exodus International’s Randy Thomas Hasn’t Had Sex In 18 Years

On July 23, Exodus International executive vice president Randy Thomas (pictured, right) will celebrate eighteen years of celibacy. Are there Hallmark cards for that?

The 42-year-old ex-gay leader revealed the results of his pact not to insert his penis into another human orifice in a blog post where he answers a question from a young lad: Is he happier now than when he was a gay? Let’s jump in!

I can’t imagine myself at 50 either! But when I was 24, EIGHTEEN years ago :) I wouldn’t have imagined I would be single at 42 years old and not having sex with another person for the next 18 years! As a matter of fact, if I had know that at 24 my brain might have exploded. But let me ask you this, even if you are gay … is it possible to be alone … and gay … at 50? Is it possible to be with a partner but still lonely or miserable at 50? In fact, is it possible neither of us could make it to fifty? OR live to 100 and have a blissful life?

[…] Of course I am lonely sometimes. But I am also happy sometimes. Like every other human on the planet, I experience the full range of our God given emotions. I have really fun, smart and caring friends. I have mean not emotionally available grumpy type of friends too :) . The Lord is working in my family and church family on all kinds of levels. I interact with people I will never see again … just like everyone. I get angry, upset, snarky, but am getting better about loving, listening and selflessly serving.

I also don’t envy my married friends anymore. I enjoy being “Mr. Randy” or “Uncle Silly” to kids all across North America. My relational needs are met and being met abundantly. When I turn my focus outward to selflessly investing/serving others for their good … not my need … interestingly my needs get met. It’s a spiritual paradox (losing our lives to live for Christ) that never fails.

So congratulations to Randy, who’s taken a vow of celibacy, just like the one real priests make, and adopted the “normal lifestyle” that “God” wants: One where he is neither gay nor experiencing the human delights of sharing intimacy with another person. That was his call — his choice, if you will — to make, and who am I to criticize what another gay man chooses to do for himself? As Randy himself notes, “The question, for me, isn’t really about whether I am ‘happy’ or not. The question is whether I am content in Christ regardless of circumstance.” To another 18 years of contentment, or whatever.

[photo: L-R, Exodus president Alan Chambers, evangelical Christian author Joni Eareckson Tada, former media relations director Julie Neils, and Randy Thomas; via]