holiday, celibate

Exodus International’s Randy Thomas Hasn’t Had Sex In 18 Years

On July 23, Exodus International executive vice president Randy Thomas (pictured, right) will celebrate eighteen years of celibacy. Are there Hallmark cards for that?

The 42-year-old ex-gay leader revealed the results of his pact not to insert his penis into another human orifice in a blog post where he answers a question from a young lad: Is he happier now than when he was a gay? Let’s jump in!

I can’t imagine myself at 50 either! But when I was 24, EIGHTEEN years ago :) I wouldn’t have imagined I would be single at 42 years old and not having sex with another person for the next 18 years! As a matter of fact, if I had know that at 24 my brain might have exploded. But let me ask you this, even if you are gay … is it possible to be alone … and gay … at 50? Is it possible to be with a partner but still lonely or miserable at 50? In fact, is it possible neither of us could make it to fifty? OR live to 100 and have a blissful life?

[…] Of course I am lonely sometimes. But I am also happy sometimes. Like every other human on the planet, I experience the full range of our God given emotions. I have really fun, smart and caring friends. I have mean not emotionally available grumpy type of friends too :) . The Lord is working in my family and church family on all kinds of levels. I interact with people I will never see again … just like everyone. I get angry, upset, snarky, but am getting better about loving, listening and selflessly serving.

I also don’t envy my married friends anymore. I enjoy being “Mr. Randy” or “Uncle Silly” to kids all across North America. My relational needs are met and being met abundantly. When I turn my focus outward to selflessly investing/serving others for their good … not my need … interestingly my needs get met. It’s a spiritual paradox (losing our lives to live for Christ) that never fails.

So congratulations to Randy, who’s taken a vow of celibacy, just like the one real priests make, and adopted the “normal lifestyle” that “God” wants: One where he is neither gay nor experiencing the human delights of sharing intimacy with another person. That was his call — his choice, if you will — to make, and who am I to criticize what another gay man chooses to do for himself? As Randy himself notes, “The question, for me, isn’t really about whether I am ‘happy’ or not. The question is whether I am content in Christ regardless of circumstance.” To another 18 years of contentment, or whatever.

[photo: L-R, Exodus president Alan Chambers, evangelical Christian author Joni Eareckson Tada, former media relations director Julie Neils, and Randy Thomas; via]

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  • Cam

    Yeah… he’s taken a vow of celibacy….hmmmm, why does that sound so familiar? Oh thats, right, thats what Priests do. I doubt he’s any more sucessful at it then they have been. And lastly, saying that kids across North America call him “Uncle Silly”, well it just gets creepier by the minute.

  • My Gay Rant

    A more appropriate title:
    Exodus International’s Randy Thomas hasn’t loved in 18 years

  • Fitz

    What is scary is his blatant reaching out to children to join his perverted life-style of unnaturally supressing the normal, healthy human need for physical intimacy. He is a pervert who is trying to recruit children.

  • Ogre Magi

    The two guys in that pic look like major faggots!

  • Dick Mills

    But I would bet that he is “celibate” at least once (or four times) each night!

  • Andrew

    I had to laugh ‘Uncle Randy’ – in Australia and UK – randy means being sexually aroused. Now thats what I call a Fruedian slip.

  • Wonka

    Wow,,Who is the cripple, did she join Exodus just because she coul not diddle her self any more ?

  • L.

    @Andrew: I was going to mention the same thing – reading “I enjoy being ‘Mr Randy’ to all the kids” was… surprising, to put it mildly.

    Hopefully he’s not going to become a Catholic priest, er, “down under”.

  • jimstoic

    I admire people who stand up for their beliefs, and I can admire him in that way. But I admire people who question their beliefs as well. It sounds like he has some self-awareness, but that he’s been deeply brainwashed by the same religious hogwash most of us have encountered. I’m sure Uncle Silly believes that God doesn’t want him to have physical intimacy with anyone, and for that I feel very sad for him. I’ve been there. I spent five years celibate in my 20s for reasons similar to his, and despite being surrounded by loving friends, I was miserable. There is no loneliness like the loneliness that comes from hating oneself. My “prayer” (as it were) is that he would discover how wrong his belief is. He is worthy of being loved, and his love is worthy of being received.

  • Andrew

    @Jimstoic – I apprecaite what you have written. However, in my opinion he and the organization he belongs to are still morally bankrupt as they are taking advantage of people who have issues with their lives and their sexuality forcing his beliefs/values onto them via discredited programs.

  • Jeremy

    On the good note: He hasn’t harmed any genital for 18 years.

  • ewe

    Randy Thomas is GROSS. That is the only word to explain him. Oh joy lookie lookie, maturbate all by yourself for eighteen years and thank your delusional god he made you non gay. What a retarded stunted human being Randy Thomas is. He is just plain GROSS. That is the only word to explain him. And that queen Alan Chambers is even more disturbed.

  • ewe

    Maybe the pope will bang him on his head with a “you are such a good little boy Randy Thomas for not sucking all that cock even though everyone including yourself knows you want to” while he continues to hide his pedophile flock. The reason Randy Thomas is single is because of his feelings of shame and that shame manifested itself in anonymous sex which he has demonized for the last eighteen years while wanking it off as his remedy. He is GROSS. That is the only word to explain Randy Thomas.

  • ewe

    For someone who claims gay men are nothing but sexual beings, Randy Thomas sure does not talk about anything else in his life other than the lack of sex with guys which he equates as being straight. LMAO. She is one sick piece of shit.

  • dvd

    @ Ogre Magi

    Haha!!! Very un-pc, but sometimes you just have to call it like you see it!

  • Drake

    No sex equals not gay? Or does it mean a delusional gay? He doesn’t indicate anything about emotional or physical attraction to women, let alone sex with women.
    His definition of gay must mean that I am not gay on Mondays, which are usually “slow” for me, if you know what I mean.

  • hf2hvit


    Yeah…and then there’s the woman in the motorized wheelchair!!!

  • hf2hvit

    Does he never masturbate? If he does, what does he think of? PUSSY???

    And as an RN, I could tell him if he doesn’t, he’s not doing his prostate any good.

  • Syl

    @My Gay Rant: “Hasn’t Loved A Man Except A Long-Dead Jewish Guy”

  • randy

    I guess the ring on his middle finger on his left hand must mean “I”m gay and not available to anyone but Jesus.”

  • Jaroslaw

    Ewe – Exodus is not a Catholic organization – so the Pope has nothing do with this one. As to him wanking off – how do you know?

    It is quite possible, even likely that his celibacy is shame oriented. And I certainly agree with others who say celibacy does not make the “Gay” go away!

    But he does have a point saying there are plenty of sexually active people and people with partners who are miserable too! Being sexually active is no guarantee of happiness.

  • Blaine Ward

    @Wonka: Best laugh I’ve had in a long time!

  • ewe

    @Jaroslaw: Jaroslaw: I don’t give a fuck if he is catholic or presbyterian, judaism or jingofuckism. It means nothing because it all is nothing. You are nitpicking for twisted religious manipulators. It was an example of how leaders in organizations, his twinkie outfit included, go about ruining people emotionally. Giving that skank the benefit of the doubt that he is wanking off is my way of showing he has some part of his humanity still intact. How do i know he does this? Don’t be naive. I am gonna take a guess that you too have jerked the woodie in the last eighteen years. Be serious. Randy Thomas is saying that celibacy makes him STRAIGHT. It is much more disturbed than seeing himself as a gay stain. He is elevating people that are not gay and you should be able to deduce what that means for you as a gay person. Stop defending that piece of shit.

  • merkin

    But these people don’t promise to help you be celibate–they promise to MAKE YOU STRAIGHT. Shouldn’t Uncle Randy be explaining that he;s never been able to get rid of his gay urges, just not act on them? Most men who join Exodus and other groups think they’re going to be “cured.”

  • ewe

    Anyone who has ever met Randy Thomas notices immediately that he cannot take his eyes off your crotch and every other mans cock and overall package, basket etc. He is stuck so deeply in physicality because he has and continues to forfeit dealing with his emotions as a homosexual. He is a hideous pathetic pawn that is being used by people much more dangerous than him. One big “fuck you” is the only reception any gay person should ever greet him with.

  • Jeffree

    No one in the world thinks about food more than an anorexic. Same idea applies here: Randy Thomas is so busy 24 / 7 suppressing his “urges” that all he probably thinks about is what he’s NOT getting !

    For one person to take that route is sad, but what makes him e-v-i-l in my book is preâchin’ that life style to others.

  • jayjay

    Wow, this is an unbelievably provacative topic. This sad queen has been jacking off to Men’s Fitness for the last 18 years and now he’s trying to recruit some youngans for some more subscriptians?

  • Ash

    I just feel bad for him. Going through life thinking that being himself, a gay man, is a sin and that he’s going to go through life not knowing love and intimacy with another adult all because some people brainwashed him into thinking it was wrong.

    I can’t imagine doing that.

  • Lookyloo

    If he’s still attracted to men he’s still gay. Celibate? Yes. Ex-gay? From what I infer, no.

  • Tallskin

    I almost hope there is a sky pixie up there because I have a few strips to tear off the evil entity.

    “God Given emotions” indeed! What hogwash. And what’s sad is that he isn’t referring to his repression in a metaphorical way, he means it!

    Oh dear, what happens when it comes out that he’s been fiddling with kids/teens? All that sexual repression must come out somewhere.

  • Jaroslaw

    Ewe – Can you ever respond to any post without going ballistic with the vitriol? It is YOU who are always bringing up the Pope. If it is indeed irrelevant, why be inaccurate?

    How nice of you to indicate that his wanking off still includes him in humanity. One would never get that from your initial post.

    Since you obviously can’t read, I’ll tell you straight out – I didn’t defend him anywhere in my post. I simply made a point. But many here at Queerty, especially you, can only see things in Black & White. There are no shade of Gray for you – must be nice to know all the answers and be right 100% of the time. NOT.


    Who would want to fcuk that vile, self hating, mess anyway??????

  • ewe

    @Jaroslaw: Jaroslaw: YOU are not “everyone”. I simply do not agree with how YOU feel. Stop trying to classify me as someone against everyone. I repeat. I do not agree with you. It is you who thinks what you say is written in stone and that’s fine. I don’t really care about you cause i don’t know you. Get over it. You are so self indulgent.

  • ewe

    @Jaroslaw: jaroslaw: I happen to believe the pope is an evil human being and i do not feel the need to qualify for you or seek your permission when any thread that uses religion or spirituality comes up attempting to demonize gay people. Get your priorities straight.

  • Jaroslaw

    EWE – you get more ridiculous with every post. Keep going and let everyone know how insecure and illogical you are! Where did I say I agree with the Pope? Where did I say or imply everything I say is written in stone or that you need my permission?

    The fact that differing opinions are expressed is what makes any blog interesting, but you make no sense. Everything is a direct attack on you and you respond by demonizing anyone who asks you to clarify or explain and you dismiss people by saying you don’t care.

    Of course, you’re not “required” to explain yourself here, but one presupposes that in offering opinions (not to mention lashing out) that you desire people to read AND understand what you write otherwise what is the purpose of you commenting here?

  • Jaroslaw

    Also, where did I say I was “everyone?”

  • Cam

    The one on the left is so over the top camp that he looks like a parody of what straights THINK gays are. I mean seriously. If you are going to lie to people to pretend that you are straight you may not want to walk out there looking like Jonny Weir’s much less butch uncle.

  • Jim Feig

    His self description makes him sound bipolar.

  • WTF?

    @ewe: Here, here! And what’s up with this demonizing of masturbation? Read my lips: it’s okay. You’re not going to hell on a handcart for spanking the monkey. Cripes, some people are messed up.

  • B

    No. 38 · WTF? wrote “@ewe: Here, here! And what’s up with this demonizing of masturbation? Read my lips: it’s okay. You’re not going to hell on a handcart for spanking the monkey. Cripes, some people are messed up.”

    Demonizing it is a Roman Catholic tradition. They sell “forgiveness of sins” and for marketing purposes the best choice for a “sin” is something most people are going to have a lot of trouble not doing. If you want people to drop some money in that collection plate, you better get them to come in first and the way the Roman Catholic Church gets repeat customers is to make sure they have something they have to be “forgiven” for.

  • Martin81

    Yeah, that man purse screams “I’m straight!”

  • AxelDC

    White knuckling your way through life is no life at all.

    I feel sorry for this guy, not proud of him.

  • Ogre Magi

    Beware the creature that calls it’s self Uncle Silly

  • Evan

    @Drake: Yeah, apparently I’m not gay at least 75% of the time (do we count time spent cuddling as “gay time,” or does there have to be penetration?)

  • B

    No. 23 · merkin wrote, “But these people don’t promise to help you be celibate–they promise to MAKE YOU STRAIGHT.”

    Ever hear the joke about the (female – imagine Carly Florina) CEO who dies and is given a choice between heaven and hell. She checks out heaven and just sees a lot of people floating around in the clouds playing harps and singing hymns. Then she checks out hell. She meets the devil who is this charming person, they play a round of golf at the country club, and they have a nice meal with an outstanding bottle of wine. So, she thinks it over and decides that hell is the better option. Immediately she appears in a stinking garbage dump that she has to clean up. Shocked, she asks, “Where’s the country club? What happened to the golf course and the nice restaurant?” The reply: “Yesterday you were being recruited; today you’re staff.”

  • Jahlalalala Who Cares

    I would have sex with him. He’s hot. I like sex.

  • idavid

    I think Randy’s “8
    kids” pretty much take the prize in this conversation. What better way could Randy’s world wide anti touch me antics be summed up than by being dubbed “Uncle Silly”.

  • idavid

    Not” 8″. This new Android X is way touchy.

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