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Exodus International’s Randy Thomas Is Uninsurable

What has Obamacare done for you lately? It hasn’t helped Randy Thomas, executive vice president of heterosexuality-for-gays organization Exodus International, figure out why his abdomen hurt so much! And that hasn’t helped him get life insurance coverage. Sads!

“[M]y life insurance application was declined over the medical results from my blood test,” writes over-sharing Randy on his blog. “Still haven’t heard from the Life Insurance company as to why. Yesterday, I tried my best to be gracious and sent a strong email telling them I wanted those results yesterday and how unproductive it was to call me and tell me I had been declined without explaining to me why. Not helpful and made for a really grumpa randa. I have some guesses: being fat + hepatitis B background = risk, high cholesterol, liver stuff (again a result of the Hepatitis.) An FYI, I got Hepatitis B through the hellhole of an elementary school I went to. It was condemned as a health hazard the year after I left it. You normally get Hepatitis from the exchange of bodily fluids but they think I got it either through the DISGUSTING bathrooms or the water fountains. I wasn’t the only kid that got it. The whole school had to get shots after I was diagnosed.”

Or maybe Randy told his life insurance company he hasn’t had sex in 18 years, and they know men actively copulating tend to live longer — and thus those who don’t are likely to die sooner, making them bigger insurance risks.

Either way, get better Randy! We need you better for your next event.

[photo via]

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7 Comments

  • t money

    it looks like a penis with a moustache is kissing him…

  • Mr. Enemabag Jones

    Cute picture! Which one is Randy?

  • Cassandra

    The cute one is the walrus.

  • Sug Night

    I’ll bet it’s a male walrus.

  • j

    @Sug Night: Hahah! But really, doesn’t this all just make him a celebate, repressed gay man? Surely religious closest cases can do that without ole’ randa’s help? He’s not exactly a poster boy for the movement, is he?

  • Max

    Being more likely to die sooner than other men would make him a profitable client.
    Basic economics.

  • Mike

    He probably caught hepatitis from giving dirty rim jobs. This caused him to become celebate. That’s my theory.

Comments are closed.