Explosive Report Uncovers Extreme Homophobia In Ohio State University’s Marching Band

25Ohio State University marching band director Jonathan Waters was abruptly fired this week, following a two-month investigation of the band’s rumored hazing rituals that found he witnessed and silently approved of the deeply offensive, disgusting and blatantly homophobic conduct happening among its members.

According to the report, obtained and published by Deadspin, band members kept a physical booklet that included the lyrics to the vulgar parody “fight songs” they wrote. While many of the songs are directly inspired by the fight songs of rival schools (“Come blow us, Michigan, Our cocks are waiting for you”), some of the most vulgar songs are totally out of left field.

Take, for instance, this one called “Proud to be a Homosexual”. Set to the tune of “God Bless the USA”, the chorus reads:

And I”m proud to be a homosexual,
Where at least I can run free.
And I won’t forget the fags with AIDS,
Who gave that right to me.
And I’ll gladly bend over,and spread my cheeks,
So you may sodomize me.


The lovely “Pieces of Baritone Shit” is even more shocking:

Bite my ass and lick my balls you mother fucking queers,
Get on your knees and tell me how the megaphone fits up your mother-fucking ass YOU GAY FAGS!
Lick my balls and lube up your ass,
Anal sex gives you nasty gas.
Fuck you, you big gay fags.
You pieces of Baritone shit!


Another song, titled “Brigham Young is a Goddamn Queer”, is…well…here:


The report also reveals the disgusting nicknames given to underclassmen, almost all inspired directly by sexual acts. A female student “pretending to be a vibrating sex toy” was named “E Row Vibrator”; a male student “conducting a full-body demonstration of a flaccid penis becoming erect” was “Jizzy.”

Other names given to students included “Jewoobs,” “Squirt,” “Testicles,” “Twat Thumper,” and “Twinkle Dick.”

As expected, the news has led to media hunt in search of Waters’ all-time lows. Early this morning, Ohio State University released an audio clip of Waters “disciplining” a band member:

The public, understandably, is outraged:

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  • barkomatic

    Of all the places to experience homophobia–marching band? Uh ok–that’s akin to glee club being homophobic. I’m glad the director was fired–sounds like he deserved it. Maybe they can clean up their act.

  • egee

    Dotting the i suddenly becomes more of an embarrassment than an honor.

  • Cobalt Blue

    ” If tomorrow the Eagle’s Bar was gone/It’d be the worst day of my life/ So I’d have to start again with just my butt-plugs/ and Bill, my wife. “…Extremely derogatory, insulting …and funny! ( LOL ).

  • Larry

    Well they cant get free tatoos in the band so they had to do something.

  • hex0

    Bizarre! A marching band? LOL

    What a charming bunch of individuals I’ll thankfully never have to meet!

  • azpunky

    These songs do not seem too different from the tunes my favorite rugby teams sing during 3rd Half: “I Used to Work in Chicago” gets very riskee with ways in which the bosses get shoved, “Jesus Can’t Play Football” is an equal-opportunity offense, “Give a Cheer for the Boys That Bring the Beer,” and more. These songs are HILARIOUS!

    Hazing has been a tradition at many colleges, in many organizations, for centuries. Literally. I went through it myself in college, and I survived, in fact I had a excellent time. Hazing usually involves a lot of disparaging, insulting, offending talk and actions from the existing members to the newbies/rookies/etc. It’s a bit of theater, many of the insults are recited verbatim from past classes and generations. The funniest lines usually survive, and funny often includes crassness.

  • hex0

    I don’t know how all this American stuff works, is this the male version of cheerleaders? ????????????

  • azpunky

    I came out of the closet while I was a member of my frat (actually, it was mixed male-female), and found total support from them. It was new information, and they basically responded with, “Huh, I was wondering…” And that was it. Actually, soon after I started bringing my boyfriend around to events, I learned that I wasn’t the only gay member.

    Longstoryshort, these hazing rituals do not translate into a homophobic culture. I’m telling you from personal experience.

  • hex0

    Seems queerty doesn’t like emojis.

  • DjARD


    Thank you for clarifying!

    We can now just ignore every single bit of evidence on how masculine culture continues to propagate ingrained homophobia (so, not necessarily blatant). “I haven’t experienced, thus it probably isn’t there.” The ultimate retort! We should probably just sweep all of those lovely little instances of sexual assault, harassment, and humiliating that have occurred during frat hazing rituals. It was all in good fun.

  • azpunky

    Of course there are limits. Sexual assault is unacceptable, physical injury and endangering people’s lives is unacceptable. But dirty songs – not such a big deal.

  • Shanestud

    “These clearly are protest songs against the gay agenda being forced upon Ohio State students. The marching band enjoys protections under the First Amendment and are affirming and expressing their religious rights. Once more young Christians on campus are under attack” -a probable press release from NOM or Family Research Council.

  • hoosier1969

    Ah….THE Ohio State University…. The Buckeyes….you know what a Buckeye is? A worthless nut :)

  • lcandela123

    @azpunky: You certainly have the right to your opinion based on your own personal history. But your single data point hardly establishes fact. To say that such a huge collection of vile homophobic fight songs does not translate into a homophobic culture in the marching band is just plain silly.

  • michael mellor

    This seems like very sophomoric humor. I wouldn’t mind biting the band leader’s behind.

  • litper

    These “straight” men just can’t stop thinking about gay sex and men’s private parts.

  • DrJohn

    Ohio State preparing America’s future right there. And the band director is embarrassingly unaware of his own homophobia, displayed in front of thousands of spectators. Some day it may dawn on him, but it will be too late then.

  • Cagnazzo82

    Of all the bands, it had to be Ohio State?

    They have the best marching band in the country. Their half-time productions basically rival anything you’d see in the Superbowl.

    What a shame. Why this band? What were they thinking?

  • transiteer

    They’re in a MARCHING BAND right??? With the shiny instruments, and fancy dress, and strut around in public “performing”?? And they’re calling down others for being Gay????? Their lyrics sound more like wishes and hopes, than anything derogatory. Immature definitely. Sexually threatened? Absolutely. Wannabe’s?? Quite likely!

  • jesaves

    Is it bad if I found the nicknames utterly hilarious?

  • buckeyes09

    As a proud, gay alum of the Ohio State Marching Band, I have to let you know that this sensationalistic journalism has no true merit. Today’s marching band is an open, welcoming, and empowering group with many gay and lesbian members. Most of the tasteless and sophomoric songs shown above were written decades ago when the band was an all male organization. There is no official songbook for the band, but, obviously, someone has dug up an old student-created one that is absolutely not sanctioned by the OSU staff. The songs contain many offensive lyrics created by immature college students trying to be funny. However, the intention was never to to harass, intimidate, or demean; just have fun singing with the guys. These types of bawdy songs and tasteless nicknames can be found in many fraternities, locker rooms, and band rooms across the country. In this politically correct era, they are definitely not appropriate anymore. However, I believe this is a big overreaction with people drawing incorrect conclusions. There is no hazing at OSU anymore. That was stopped when I was in the band in the 1980’s. There is no hyper-sexualized culture in the band, just some lingering vulgar fight songs and nicknames. There is no homophobia in the band today, as you might think from reading the articles out of context. The young women and men in the band are a family who work very hard to create entertaining halftime shows and achieve high levels of musical excellence. Jon Waters, their director, is a great man and caring music educator who is being railroaded and made a scapegoat because of the bad press. This is not about a culture of sexual harassment (it doesn’t exist at OSU), no one was injured or killed by hazing, and there is no homophobia in the group. This is simply some band members singing dirty songs that should have been retired years ago. There is no cruel intent. If there was homophobia in the band, I would be leading the charge to see it eradicated, but that simply is not the case. I know the boring truth is not as exciting as the salacious details might infer.

  • SteveDenver

    @buckeyes09: It’s been three decades since you were in OSU marching band and you’re indignant about events recently uncovered and call them inaccurate? Perhaps you should call the legal counsel for Waters, since you know better than college administrators what takes place.

    Trying to minimize the situation only makes you look idiotic, truly stupid. There is NO EXCUSE for homophobia or bullying. Shame on you.

  • DaveH

    I am also an openly gay alumnus of the Ohio State University Marching Band. Being part of that band is one of the greatest honors and accomplishments of my life. I have many fond memories of the performances (five bowl games, the Rose Parade, many more) and the wonderful people who were my band mates. The sense of family and camaraderie in the band are unequaled in any group I have belonged to before or since, as well as the drive and commitment to work together to reach the highest levels of musical and showmanship excellence.

    To describe the band as a place where homophobia, bullying, and sexual harassment run rampant is simply untrue and unfair. I would never have stayed in the band five years and had such a wonderful experience if it was.

    I can’t say that we never sang songs with dirty lyrics at parties, or told dirty jokes. That was always done on our own time, and it doesn’t seem reasonable to expect the band staff to police people’s Saturday night parties. This songbook was typed up by a few individuals and is in no way sanctioned by the band.

    There’s no question that the marching band should take steps to clean up it’s internal customs and traditions. So should most of the marching bands, sports teams, and fraternities across the country.

    But firing Dr. Waters (who has been the head director for less than two years) for things that have taken place over the course of many, many years is simply wrong. During his brief tenure, he had already taken steps to fix the problems. He wasn’t even interviewed as part of the investigation, nor were the people in the report who were referred to by their nicknames. The investigation was hastily done and inherently flawed.

    To SteveDenver’s point, the band alumni are highly networked. There is an active alumni band that performs year-round, and we have an active alumni association with a publication and Facebook groups. We have pretty good information about what does and doesn’t go on these days. The new University president, on the other hand, has been in his job about three weeks.

  • ScriptO

    These “songs” are stupid, not funny, and I can easily see taking offense to them. However, I was in the OSUMB for 5 years and I’ve never seen these songs, never sang these songs, and never heard these songs. Calling them part of the band’s “culture” is grossly inaccurate.

  • ScriptO

    I would also point out that one of those songs was written about BYU. We played BYU in 1982, 1985, and 1993. I can guarantee that song was written in one of those years, and most likely written the first time we played BYU in 1982. This crap was written over 20 years at best, and most likely more than 30 years ago by a *few*, maybe just one, college kid trying to be funny. This does not represent the overall culture of the OSUMB probably even back then and *certainly* not today.

  • jenfusion

    I was a member of TBDBITL from 06-08 (so not VERY long ago), I’m a straight woman, and I am a lifelong supporter of the LGBT community. Reading your thoughts about our band truly saddens me more than anything currently being written about us.

    I would never have devoted my time and energy to a group I felt was not accepting, or was prejudiced against ANY group of people. Instead, what I found during my time in band was that the group could not have been more supporting and accepting of LGBT individuals (the band included MANY members who identified as such). This songbook is a non-sanctioned product of a decades-ago band, and was absolutely not distributed widely among the band but rather passed around a small group of individuals. It should in no way be reflective of the larger organization, or the band that I was a part of a few years ago. And since this document has since been banned, it is clearly not a reflection on the director Jonathan Waters.

    I would sincerely apologize to those who are offended, but I absolutely feel the need to assure you that the report published last thursday was NOT an accurate portrayal of our band, or our beliefs and value system.

  • ReaderOhio

    I was a 5 year member of the band from 1998-2002. That means I was both in the band with Jon Waters and marched under the direction of Jon Waters as an Assistant Director. Homophobic is the FURTHEST from how I would describe the band.

    Let’s talk about this song book for a second. Hardly anyone in the band ever saw it. I saw it once when someone at a party had one. It was written a long time ago. It wasn’t acceptable then, either. The fact that this book still exists actually shocks me. A song about Brigham Young? When was the last time OSU even played Brigham Young? The songs are stupid and sophomoric. If someone would have sang any of these songs posted above on the bus, I can tell you we would have been shocked. I’ve even seen it reported in some places that the book was passed out by the band staff and that these songs were performed by the band! There’s no way that a Director would have allowed this to be passed around if he saw it. It would have been confiscated and the band would have been reprimanded. There isn’t a culture of homophobia in the band. At all. If there were instances of homophobia witnessed, Jon would have been one of the first ones to put an end to them.

  • osudds

    I am yet another proud gay alum of OSUMB, 81-85. I have a copy of the “unofficial” songbook from 1982, and I assure you most (not all, but most) of these songs are in it.

    Some of them are homophobic, many are sexually charged, and all are sophomoric. However, Jon Waters (the director) did not write the lyrics, he did not print copies, and he did not distribute them. However, their existence is a contributing factor to his dismissal.

    These songs were written 30-40 years ago by 18-21 year old college kids. I can’t say I’m proud they exist, but I can say that in 1982 I sang them. The point is, this songbook should in no way be a contributing factor in firing the director in 2014.

    I have read the entire report from the university’s investigation. I highly doubt the same can be said for the esteemed writers here on Queerty (likely far to occupied researching for the article ‘Finally! The Nude Photo Of Christiano Renaldo We’ve All Been Waiting For’ ). I can probably guarantee no one making any posts on here have read the report either! …fellow alumni excluded.

    Honestly people, lets be careful what we consider news, where get our information, and what we blindly accept as truth,

    It saddens me to see OSUMB being sensationalized and exploited with headlines like these. The OSUMB probably has one of the highest percentage of LGBT members of any campus organization. This article does a great disservice to your target audience. Either be a gay TMZ and continue to bring us the best fluff ever…’10 Adorable Gay Porn Stars And Their Kittens”, or be news sight.

  • hex0

    WOW, paragraphs of damage control in here from multiple users!

    As a Brit I don’t even know what a uni marching band is other than male cheerleaders. i understand some groups of men can make vulgar jokes in private but I wonder how widespread this was, otherwise we don’t have enough info on what action should be taken.

Comments are closed.