Youtuber Riyadh Khalaf became internet famous in 2015 after posting a hilarious video where he made his Irish mom read his Grindr messages. But as humorous and light-hearted as that video was, Riyadh’s journey to coming out to his parents, particularly his father, was not an easy road.
Now, in a new TV interview, 27-year-old Riyadh talks in detail about how, after coming out to his mom, they both agreed to keep it a secret from his Iraqi father.
“He was brought up Muslim and in Islamic culture and in that world, as many of us know, it’s not okay to be gay most of the time,” Riyadh explains. “It’s full of shame, it’s full of fear. It’s seen as a sickness. It’s just not good.”
Related: Watch What Happens When This Dude Lets His Mom Read His Grindr Messages
When he finally did come out to his dad nine months later, Riyadh says, he didn’t take it well.
He completely broke down and he was on the floor, on his knees, saying, ‘why, why, why, why you? Why you? Why this way? Why does it have to be gay?’ and I’m looking at him and I’m kind of going, ‘You? It’s me who has to live with this and me who has to go through a world that doesn’t really accept me for who I am.’
Sadly, it gets worse.
Riyadh later learned that shortly after that his father “attempted suicide because of the way I was.”
Learning this, he says, was was “incredibly difficult to hear” as he felt he was the “catalyst” for his father’s agony.
But then, things changed.
Related: Gay YouTuber Riyadh Teaches Dad Vocab Like “DILF” And “Thirsty”
After the suicide attempt, Riyadh says, his father became a different person.
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“In the year after he tried that I can’t tell you the turnaround he has had,” Rihadh explains. “He is the most loving, most embracing, pro-gay, Pride-marching, drag queen-befriending dad I could ever ask for.”
Today, their relationship is stronger than ever before.
My dad is my idol, my mentor, my world and without him I would be half the man I am today. He changed not by accident, he changed because he wanted to. He put love above shame and he put me above everyone else’s opinions.
Watch the powerful interview below.
AzLights
Wow!! I’m so glad that his dad didn’t succeed in his attempt. Sometimes people can surprise you–pleasantly, as in this case.
When I came out to my mom in the early 70–well, let’s just say it didn’t go to well. When I went home in late 2006, I told her that I was marrying a woman and waited for the explosion. To my surprise, she was very happy at the news. Then she said, “When I die, I want to die knowing that you are happy, and if marrying a woman will bring you happiness, I’m all for it.” She attended our wedding in the fall of 2007, eight months before she passed away.
DCguy
Amazing how similar all these strict religious people are. Christians, Muslims, etc… too much religion seems to result in hate, bigotry, and unbalanced behavior.
1898
@Gregg i live in a neighborhood with a huge muslim population and they havent done any of those things to me. and they know where i live. please dont paint them all with a broad brush. there are christians who bomb womens health clinics and there are christians who dont. they shouldnt be painted with a broad brush either. no one should.
ChrisK
@Gregg. Depends where you live. In the United States they’re mostly tolerant. Go somewhere where there’s a large Muslim population and especially if it’s the majority and you’ll get the complete opposite.
ChrisK
@1898. Actually that was a response to you.
1898
@ChrisK thats just as true with Christians in different parts of the USA… youll get a much different reception from Christians in Boston or New York than youll get from Christians in Mobile or Little Rock
dwes09
Royal decree removed the death penalty for homosexuality in the 1980’s, but there is no binding national legal code there so change in practice is slow. Nobody has been executed for homosexuality in Saudi Arabia in the past 18 years.
Not saying things would be good for gay folks there (they are terrible, undeniably), but simply providing another example of the amazing disconnect regressives have from reality. Imagining something has never made it true.
I looked up “hate crimes in saudi arabia” and all i could find was crimes against Saudis in western countries! Mostly attacks against Saudi exchange students at universities, some resulting in death.
As for the name, perhaps he is named after a beloved relative, no indication at all that he is “named after the city”. IN FACT (regressives seldom understand what facts are) the name is apparently a common one for men and means “garden” or “meadow”.
dwes09
Also could find no reference to the murder of gay people in S.A., except for the case of one of the Princes murdering a male servant he had been having sex with, and going to prison for it. And the recent torturing of two trans people.
jpcolter
Why is this story being promoted as if it’s new? This guy has been doing YouTube videos for years and his dad has been in his videos. This particular story was one of his videos but it was at least a couple of years ago
dwes09
The smarter Youtubers retain publicists who make sure their names pop up in promising places periodically.
john.k
While he may have told the story before the clip is from an RTE program called “Cutting Edge” that was broadcast on Wednesday.
Kieran
“Not saying things would be good for gay folks there (they are terrible, undeniably)”
Thanks dweb09 for the understatement of the year.
Daniel-Reader
Thankfully religious preference is arbitrary and can be changed at whim at any moment to anything. So anyone using religious preference to discriminate against other people can stop at any moment they come to their senses and pick a better religious preference.
Gregg
And some in the faith community would say your sexuality is arbitrary, Daniel, and that you could change it at a whim, too. #ouch
Cylest Brooks
@Gregg, your other comment on this thread was removed for violating Queerty’s comment policy. Islamaphobia is not welcome here.
Please review our comment policy if you have questions.
ChrisK
No they don’t say sexuality is arbitrary. Ask how many think being straight is arbitrary?
DCguy
Gregg, except that is not true.
I notice you don’t provide a link. Says it all.
As for Religion being arbitrary. Simple fact, it is, you aren’t born as a religion. If a bunch of kids grow up in an orphanage, they aren’t going to automatically grow up and “Reveal” themselves as the same religion as parents they never knew.
But nice try.
Terrycloth
He states his father tried to commit suicide for the way that he was..what do you mean was ? Should have said for the way that I am..was sounds like you were once gay but aren’t any more !
I have family members who said they told so and so I was gay.i said I am still ..no was about it. Should have told them he is gay….i5s a thing I have stop using was for is
dfwenigma
Islam is like any religion. It has strict adherents who sadly are unable to accept anyone or anything that violates a strict code based on quite literal interpretation of religious dogma. Christianity has many flavors but these are not as influenced by geography and culture as Islam and Judaism. To be a Christian in the Church of the East, of Constantinople, the Eastern Orthodox Christian religion is quite different from being a western Christian. Then of course there are all the variants. Islam and Judaism adhere either to strict tenants of Shia’t or Sunni sects or they tend to be as lukewarm as Christians or Jews. Some people are born under a religious creed and regale against it. People who want to kill LGBTQ people aren’t limited to religious zealots – though religious zeal fueled by cultural mores does create situations which almost justify outright murder or torture. I say justify – these are justified by adherents – but are not in fact justifiable. When we believe that someone will burn in ever living hell or that one drags us into the abyss with them the desire to end their lives grows. This should never be confused with some right to kill another. There is no justification for that on moral or religious grounds. But that doesn’t mean of course that people do not harbor evil in their hearts.
dfwenigma
I meant to say that Islam adheres to Shi’a or Sunni sects are related to Islam – not of course to Judaism. Sadly I can’t change what I posted. I apologize – clearly a mistake and clearly idiotic on my part.
seaguy
Ive seen his british tv documentary on the uk porn industry but never knew his story. He always features his parents who both are living, supportive of him. Never knew what it took to reach that point though.