A few weeks ago, we got a crash course in gay prison sex. Not the porn version (save that for a rainy day) or what you see in movies and TV, but the real, gritty day-to-day behaviors of men in lockdown.
You can read that account here. But as thorough as it is, the author writes from his experience as a straight inmate, and we were curious to hear the perspective of an openly gay prisoner.
Luckily you can find just about anything on the internet. YouTuber Jacob Kohinoor has a six-part interview series with gay former inmate Devin about his experiences in the slammer. Since we’re guessing you don’t have the hour or so it would take to actually watch them all, we broke it down into some educational tid-bits.
These are his first hand account:
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- “In prison, you have all levels of homosexuality…whether you’re open with it, or you’re on the down low, or you’re discreet,” but basically don’t think you’re going to hide anything from anyone, because being surrounded by long-term inmates and other gay prisoners, the truth is going to come out, and quickly.
- “If I’m a girl — and yes they call us girls in there…in prison, we are their wives…This is what they get, this is all they have. You know you have a lot of them who lie and say they have sex with the female guards, but not all of them can do that. You have more homosexuality than what you probably believe.”
How are gay guys treated in jail?
- “Open homosexuals are treated with respect. We run the prison. You can come to me in prison and tell me I’m gay, I’m a sissy, I’m a faggot. I would have you murdered that same hour. You have men in there who are never going to see home, never going to go back to women…Out in the real world you can get away with calling me a fag…In prison we are their wives. We are what they want.”
- Also, trans women are called “titty girls” (even RuPaul won’t go near that word). “They’ve had operations, they’ve been taking hormones, so they have big booties…They’re treated like royalty.”
- Guys think that if they aren’t bottoming, it’s not really “gay.”
- Rape occurs, but not as often as it used to. Or it’s used as currency. If someone owes you something and can’t pay it back, you can “take their ass as payment.” (Yikes.)
DDstar1me
Ooooo..for god sake. Please don’t start a Fem vs Masc comment war again. It never goes anywhere or accomplishes anything. Just put the entire topic to rest. Please!
Billy Budd
Guys think that if they aren’t bottoming, it’s not really “gay.”
LOL LOL LOL LOL
DarkZephyr
@DDstar1me: This prison dichotomy has nothing to do with outside society so getting into a “war” about “Masc” and “Fem” here would be silly. Its a completely different beast, so I wouldn’t worry about it happening. It would be absurd to argue about it here.
CoachS
I just have one question: Does anyone know where that picture came from. Either that’s a really good movie… or I need to give up my career and become a CO at twink jail.
redcarpet30
So an average joe openly gay guy who isn’t super fem is pretty much left alone and can have regular gay relationships/sex, or is it all tied up in that “who plays the woman” framework?
TinoTurner
I’ve had a close friend in jail for a few years. In the gay world, he never got dates and no one was really interested in him because he was effeminate. When he got out of jail, he basically told me that he ran the place. Guys would throw themselves at him and he could have anyone he wanted….and I believe him. The saddest thing he told me was when he said that he’s never felt that level of being desired in the outside world.
Billy Budd
@TinoTurner: The best lover I’ve ever had in my life WAS a fem and he was surprisingly fabulous as a top. I get turned on by masculine men, but that is not what I care the most.
doug105
@CoachS: google image add-on is saying a photo book called “Sunday Drive” by Luke Smalley.
DarkZephyr
@TinoTurner: I think its probably basically because in the outside world he has to contend with other gay men, in there it was men who identified as straight who wanted him. His femininity was seen as a good thing by them. Sadly its a different story out here. Straight men want women and we know how it can be with gay men.
Paco
@TinoTurner: I believe it too. I would guess it would be easier for a self-identified straight man to be more familiar sexually with a feminine male, in the complete absence of females, than they would be with a macho male. And yes it is sad that gay male culture tends to make being fem an undesirable trait.
enlightenone
@Paco: “And yes it is sad that gay male culture tends to make being fem an undesirable trait.” More for Billy Budd!
DarkZephyr
@enlightenone: And more for me. I do not discriminate against “fem” guys at all. I have met MANY delicious so called “feminine” gay men.
enlightenone
@DarkZephyr: Of course, did mean to leave you out! Lol! It’s human to have preferences, and for many, opposites attract. What doesn’t get talked about much is that there is a diffrence between “fem” and “effeminate!”
enlightenone
@DarkZephyr: (Sp Corrected) Of course, didn’t mean to leave you out! Lol! It’s human to have preferences, and for many, opposites attract. What doesn’t get talked about much is that there is a difference between “fem” and “effeminate!”
CaseyDee
So we have to go to prison to be considered desirable? Great.