whose pride is it?

First GetEQUAL Took on the White House. Now they Want to “Take Back Pride”

You can’t please all of the people all of the time, but a lot of people are pretty fucking displeased with the state of Prides around the country these days.

Pick your criticism: they’re too frivolous, they’re too commercial, they’re too serious, they’re too offensive, they’re too mainstream, they’re too boozy, they’re too sanitized, they’re too sexual, they’re too popular, they accidentally thanked Hitler.

But GetEQUAL’s going to fix all that! They’re going to “take back” Pride. Yeah, that’s showing ’em! They’re forming street teams, which is another way of saying “groups of college kids with matching t-shirts and clipboards who would like to know if you have a minute for gay marriage.”

Frankly, the way some people in charge of Pride treat it, they’re probably just relieved to hear that someone wants to take it off their hands.

What exactly GetEQUAL plans to do with Pride once they’ve “taken it back” remains to be seen. Maybe they’ll handcuff it it to the White House fence.


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  • chris

    Ahhhh looks like the new queerty is just as douchey and hellbent on criticizing change makers as the old queerty was. As if its not bad enough that NOM can use headlines from your site to raise money…what exactly does queerty do for the LGBT community? Raising money for our enemies and trying to bring down our own. Well-played. Hope queerty 2.0 has the same fate as its predecessor.

  • matt baume

    @chris: Well, just in the last day or two, we publicized a rally in Tennessee to stop the “Don’t Say Gay” bill, we directed readers to two important LGBT arts projects that need support, and we opened a conversation about trans youth issues.


    If those aren’t of interest to you, then you’re free to read Cat Fancy or whatever other sites you prefer.

  • Ray

    At first I though GetEqual was going to be a good organization. Now it seems they were just vultures feeding off the military personnel chaining themselves to the White House fence. The whole organization has been taken over by a bunch of little white yuppy bitches that don’t want to hurt the feeling of the christian or the GOP of even the ghetto bitches that nearly killed that transgedner woman in McDonalds.

  • ohplease

    I get the defensiveness, but I don’t get how good posts excuse the bad ones. Maybe Cat Fancy will tell me what it is GetEQUAL actually plans to do, since this post does not — even though that is presumably what this post is supposed to be about.

    I’m a new reader who only discovered this blog days before the first version closed. Theoretically, I’m the audience you’re trying to cultivate. But I’ve been reading since the re-launch and I have absolutely no idea what this blog’s mission is. There’s news and entertainment and then there’s the posts and videos trying to embarrass or tear down queers and their allies. And it can’t be ignored that the re-launched blog’s responsible for a catastrophic strategic error regarding NOM.

    The writers often seem to be trying way too hard. One moment you’re screaming for attention and the next you’re actually telling your target audience to go away. Why not be welcoming? Why not be receptive? Why not just relax?

  • matt baume

    @ohplease: These are all good questions. As far as this post goes, GetEQUAL’s plans are to dispatch people with clipboards at Pride.

    But on a larger scale, the Queerty of right now exists to connect queers to their community by talking about what other queers are doing. Sometimes that’s good things, sometimes it’s bad things. Sometimes it’s important things, sometimes it isn’t. Hopefully it’s mostly good, and mostly important.

    As far as the NOM thing goes, NOM quotes plenty of LGBT sources when they’re trying to scare up money:


    …and as their defector Louis Marinelli pointed out, they have to do those soft asks for money every now and then, so if it hadn’t been Queerty, it just would have been someone else.

    As far as telling people to go away, well, look at the opening line of this post. The more readers we have, the better, but when someone’s only comment is that they want the blog to stop publishing, they’ve already made up their mind. I’d hope that our quality of content would change their mind but I’m not holding my breath.

    Thanks for continuing to read.

  • Barry O'Bummer

    what, besides winning “Biggest Bitch in 7th Grade”, qualifies one to blog for Queerty? It’s clearly not actually engaging or leading struggles for equality or having more than a passing familiarity with queer history. Would you let me write if I was really cute and had a bag of meth?

  • Barry O'Bummer

    @matt baume:

    What fucking quality of content are you talking about? Shitting on people who are putting themselves on the line for YOUR right to suck a dick in the dark?

    Let me explain something to you, faglet.

    HUMILITY. Go to a dictionary. Look it up. Memorize it.

    It’s a quality every queer leader or org (and you, by default, are both) MUST understand and practice. So far, YOU FAIL.

    The bitchiness and the defensiveness of your comments shows clearly what your project is.

  • Armand

    These Pride events are a disservice to our community. Scantily clad men, some performing oral/anal sex in front of the community.

    It’s sad I can’t bring my neighbors and kids.

    Pride events are just another way for grown up men (who are really kids) to practice debauchery, hedonism, and the boxes of nitrates.

    Good luck trying to take back “Pride”.

  • Armand

    **Correction: It’s sad I can’t bring my neighbors and THEIR kids.

    I’m still on the long waiting list to adopt a child from Uzbekistan…

  • matt baume

    Whether you’re commenting as “Barry,” “the Spirit of Harry Hay,” “John,” “Lonnie,” “Barney,” or any of the other names you’ve used, we’re not interested in having personal attacks and intense hostility on Queerty anymore, so please tone it down.

  • Jeffree

    I agree with Queerty’s questioning just *how* GetEqual’s efforts to “take back Pride” will actually happen, & the results of doing so.

    It’s a fair topic for discussion. Silly name-calling, non-stop fueds and blatant race-baiting killed many a thread in the old days. I’m too damn pretty to live through THAT again!

    Back to PRIDE, ok: Most folks I know IRL believe Pride events do need to change, but there are lot of competing ideas on what needs to happen. Since the events vary markedly from city to city, this may be a call for us to help out our local Pride organizing committees. Or at least make concrete suggestions. I’ll post tomorrow with a couple ideas.
    — — — —
    I think Queerty 2.0 is still finding its way, but so far I’ve been happy with several of the changes. The mix of articles on politics / culture is better balanced, and the tone is more thoughtful and less shrill.

    Just having staff keeping an eye on the threads has begun to shift the culture, and has bumped up the signal-to-noise ratio several notches. That’s a solid start.

  • scott ny'er

    @Armand: I don’t know what pride you go to, but that’s not the Pride March I’ve seen and participated in. Try again.

    Yes, there is nudity or partial nudity. But don’t turn on the tv or open a magazine either. Those CK ads might shock you to death.

  • TMikel

    It will date me, but I took part in the second Chicago Pride back in the day. It was a relaxed, joyous and formal event. We felt not only pride but freedom and empowerment. So many who marched with me are now dead and gone forever. I said back in 1969 that if we did not use our increasing acceptance for something more than increasing the number of bars and bathhouses, we would come to regret it. That was long before AIDS and long before a few courageous states made marriage equality possible. Often now, as a 61 year old male who has been HIV+ since 1984, I wonder if anything has changed. The face of the LGBT community is still that of youth, and while celebrating our sexuality is positive and wonderful, celebrating our humanity might accomplish more. M.D. McGrew

  • TMikel

    Barry O’Bummer and Armand – you are not the first, nor will be be the last self-hating gays who attack what they cannot understand or appreciate. Where do you get off attacking any who are different than you? What did YOU accomplish in 7th grade? Most of us were trying to figure out who the hell we were – not bitch slapping anyone. For one day out of the year, some gays and lesbians choose to celebrate in all their fanciful glory. If others – including you – don’t choose to attend and bring their children, that is there choice. I have attended MANY Pride celebrations in my time and each was unique and different and notable for the sheer joy and life of those participating and attending. Your comments are merely indicative of the breakdown of civlility in public discourse. They say far more about you than those they attack.

  • Armand

    @scott ny’er said: “Yes, there is nudity or partial nudity…” at Pride marches.

    Enough said. Thanks for re-enforcing my comment.

  • Armand

    @TMikel: Your ad hominems are baseless and suits you well.

    You said, “For one day out of the year, some gays and lesbians choose to celebrate in all their fanciful glory.”

    If that means going out to the visible world by wearing next to nothing clothing, displaying oral/anal sex and call it Pride, then nothing’s changed since the hey-days.

    You made a great observation, “The face of the LGBT community is still that of youth”. Exactly, Pride has never grown up and probably never will.

  • Jeffree

    Have been to about 12 Prides in various cities, never have seen any more “nudity” than you would see on a topless beach: e.g. Speedos & b0obs. I don’t consider breasts to be shocking, & don’t believe “children” need to be sheltered from them.

    (I realize a woman can get arrested in many places for flashing their double-whatevers…)
    In any crowd where booze is running free, you’re bound to see a teat or two. It’s not just Pride.

  • Danny

    How about everyone volunteer to help out Pride organizations. It is not easy to get things done for Pride. No bitching unless you’ve served on the board of a Pride organization. Money doesn’t fall from the sky to put events – Pride or otherwise, LGBTA or otherwise. Get some experience and then make some constructive criticism while actually involved in a Pride group.

  • AndrewW

    GetEqual will do ANYTHING to solicit donations. That’s their job.

  • scott ny'er

    @Armand: No problem. I would suggest you stay indoors and not receive any communication from the outside world at all. You’ll be safer this way.

  • scott ny'er

    @Armand: BTW, I want proof of oral/anal sex at a Pride March. Those are lies.

  • Mike in Asheville

    @matt baume: Where to fucking begin?

    Since you utterly fail to provide ANY information about GetEqual’s plan is and belittle them without explanation, I went to the GetEqual web-site to see what they say their Pride Events plan. So now I know you, Queerty, also grotesquely misrepresent that plan.

    You call it GetEqual’s plan to take over pride events; GetPride says they are going to pride event to recruit more volunteers to get involved with GetEqual’s marriage-equity efforts.


    To Matt: I have written this before, but I don’t understand how you think you can be a serious journalist with your vlog posts on the legal issues involving the Prop. 8 case while contributing garbage quality journalism with your inane posts like this one. And yesterday, you took after Facebook for enforcing their trademarks by implying they are corporate ogres.

  • Michael McKeon

    Who ever wrote this piece is a shirt off cock shopping asshole. GeTEqual is the only group in the LGBT community that gets things done. While rest of you crawl booze soaked and in search of the next sexual conquest, the folks at GeTEqual are fighting for our human rights.



  • Who cares?

    Why does ANYONE even mention GetPaid – they haven’t accomplished ANYTHING. Well, they have raised (and wasted) $1 million, most of which went to pay themselves.

    The LGBT Community doesn’t need a small band of misfits getting paid to make us look foolish. Leave Pride alone GetPaid – you’re already a sad joke.

  • rodca

    After reading this post, exactly what GetEqual is proposing seemed vague to me. I did a little research and found:

    Take Back Pride


    Which seems to be affiliated with:



    (Notice the Take Back Pride Logo is the same for both)
    (They also tweet each other @GetEqual and @TakeBackPride)

    So… If, I’m right, here’s a description of what these street teams will support:


    Doesn’t seem so bad to me (Of course, TBP is seeking donations).

  • Chris Reynolds

    @matt baume: Nearly every article on Queerty is intense hostility and personal attacks…so you want to be able to POST this douchebaggery, but we can’t respond in-kind? SO we can add ironic double-standard to the qualities of Queerty 2.0 apparently.

  • bfenster

    Wow, this is so disappointing to see. I’ve always admired Matt’s videos on marriage equality and the work he did on the It Gets Better San Francisco video, and thought he was an activist interested in bringing up our movement, not tearing it down. That’s certainly not what comes across in this article, which is just some snarky bullshit intended to rile people up without giving them any significant context.

    I’m all for questioning our organizations and challenging them to be better. But do it with substance, not with catty sarcasm that comes across as nothing more than mean and bitchy for the sake of being mean and bitchy.

  • Armand

    @scott ny’er: Darling, there is Google. Use it.

  • Shannon1981

    I’ve been half naked at Pride and damned proud of it. Its the one day where we can be as gay as we want and its expected. If you don’t like it, uptight prudes, stay home. It’s an oppressed people celebrating who we are in a safe environment.

  • Shannon1981

    To Matt Baume: I love Queerty, and have been here for quite some time before you guys took over. I will say this: I applaud your attempts to take the racism out of the comments section, but snark, often crossing the line into outright nastiness, and yes, personal attacks, is a deeply ingrained part of the regular readership of this blog. To try to censor that is walking a dangerous line. Queerty and its readership has never, nor will it ever, fall into the category of what some would call “classy.” And to be perfectly frank, that is what I’ve always liked about the place. Even the trolls like Michael Letterman and the occasional popping up of the religious nutters in posts attacking church people…all of it adds to the dirty charm of the place. Cutting remarks are an inevitable part of Queerty comment sections….I don’t really advise trying to curtail that. It’s your blog, not mine, and you’ll do what you like, that’s just a little bit of advice from a regular. :)

  • scott ny'er

    @Armand: darling, i don’t need to. YOU are the one who is stating this as fact so YOU must prove it. So, YOU google it and show proof or just shush and stop spreading lies.

  • scott ny'er

    @Armand: Oh, and I’m concerned about you possible child. I hope the agency scrutinizes you very closely, it sounds like you might be harmful to the child. Usually, those who protest the most… those are the dangerous ones.

  • Who cares?

    Enough about GetPaid – it’s over. Thankfully, they are out of business. This is just lame. Nobody cares.

    Activism is not about earning $100,000 a year. There is nothing authentic about GE. Move on. Please.

  • Armand

    @Shannon1981 said: “[Pride is] the one day where we can be as gay as we want and its expected.”

    Honey, if you don’t live everyday as gay as you want except for Pride, you must be oppressed.

    Do you live in Iran or any Middle East country that hangs homosexuals?

  • Armand

    @scott ny’er: If my words did not help you to remove those rainbow glasses wherein all is glitter, then by all means continue.

    You certainly don’t need anyone’s permission.

    Oh yes. There is Google.

  • Armand

    @scott ny’er: By law (not to mention ethically and morally), adoption agencies are supposed to “closely scrutinize” each applicant who desire to adopt a child.

    Ta ta darling.

  • Shannon1981

    @Armand: believe me, I am plenty gay every day. But Pride is a specific event to celebrate that. I don’t understand why people want to turn it into some stuffy event and curtail our activities to please straight people who might not like it.

  • zach

    @TMikel: u go i love hearing from the past generations its inspiring

  • zach

    @Shannon1981: i think we just need to make it less sex because thats wat brings us down its ok to dress however u want just dont be profane about it

  • Shannon1981

    @zach: I said I’ve been half naked at Pride. I never said I’ve had sex at Pride. And I haven’t. I march, drink, have fun, and make new great gay friends. I sign up to volunteer at gay stuff. Isn’t that what its supposed to be? If the straights don’t like it, they can stay the fuck home IMO.

  • Who cares?

    @Shannon1981: Shannon is correct – GetPaid is just trying to create an issue so they can raise money. It’s stupid.

    GetPaid needs to GetLost.

  • Shannon1981

    @Who cares?: Never u nderstood why anyone gave a fuck what STRAIGHT PEOPLE think of GAY PRIDE. Makes no fucking sense to me.
    The ones who don’t like it can rot in hell for all I care. A homophobe by any other name is still a homophobe.

  • JohnMalk

    Like it or not “Gay” is a brand. It represents a certain sexual orientation and all the people who fall under that sexual orientation. There are many different types of people who are homosexual. They come from different backgrounds and different walks of life.

    Some gay people think sexual liberation, skin tight clothing, and walking around in speedos is important. Others do not. That is why some people at pride wear speedos and others wear jeans and a t-shirt. Of course, some people think that the people who are scantily clad are damaging the gay brand (not only in straight peoples’ eyes but also in gay peoples’ eyes) and some people think that sexually uptight gay men who want to get married and live in the suburbs damage the gay brand.

    At the end of the day we should learn to just accept our differences, have separate gay pride parades, or just not have a parade at all and the gay men who want to walk around in speedos can just have a “sexual liberation” parade instead. Like it or not gay is no longer synonymous with all things sexual liberation.

  • Julie Pousson

    As a member of GetEQUAL Texas, I would like to clarify a few things. First, we spend a lot of time taking action to confront bigotry- and we come out of pocket to do so. Second, GetEQUAL’s “Take Back Pride” is an effort to make Pride events more than the gratuitous parties that they have become in many cases…and to inform the LGBT community, as well as to motivate and enable our neighbors to participate in securing their equality in all matters governed by civil law. We do not raise much money, and we spend our own money- and countless hours- to that end.
    We have also kept equality in the news, through the use of creative, non-violent protests. Can you not see the value in this? We have been an integral part of the changing tide of public support for marriage equality.
    No person, and no organization, is perfect. But most of you are speaking of people that you do not know- and I do. Nobody is getting rich here- Robin McGehee has sacrificed nearly everything she held dear in order to stand up for all of us.
    This blogger is misinformed, and the blog- malicious.
    On a final note, San Antonio Pride (Bigger than Texas) is family-friendly, and lacks the above-mentioned debauchery. It’s a day of community for ALL.

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