First world/lady problems

The First Lady’s cause: Herself! (No, seriously. It really is.)

Melania Trump poses in a mock Oval Office in 2000 for GQ.

Remember when Melania Trump said our culture has gotten “too mean and too rough” and therefore her platform as First Lady would be tackling the problem of cyber bullying among our youth?

“It is never OK when a 12-year-old girl or boy is mocked, bullied or attacked,” she told a crowd in Philadelphia back in November. “It is terrible when that happens on the playground and it is absolutely unacceptable when it’s done by someone with no name hiding on the Internet.”

Related: Body language experts decode Donald and Melania Trump’s bizarre behavior

Well, she’s making good on her promise. Sort of. Because according to Page Six, Mrs. Trump has begun putting together a team in order to address and manage the very serious issue of online attacks, but there’s a catch. She’s only focusing on attacks being made against herself and her family. America’s youth, it seems, will have to wait.

Melania is said to be particularly upset about a joke comedian Chelsea Handler made to Variety in a recent video interview when she claimed the First Lady “can barely speak English,” then followed up with the tweet, “Blink if you need help @MELANIATRUMP.”

Related: This candid nine second video will actually make your heart break for Melania Trump

The Trump family’s personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, issued a statement this week on Melania’s behalf, saying “Shame on Chelsea Handler for attacking our first lady in such a despicable manner!”

“Don’t be fooled by her accent,” Cohen added. “Melania is bright and articulate. To be clear, our first lady speaks multiple languages, I believe five. How many languages do you speak, Chelsea?”

Insiders say Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, who helped coordinate Trump’s inauguration events, including that kickass performance by Three Doors Down, has been tapped as Melania’s chief strategist and is currently interviewing candidates for the First Lady’s chief of staff, communications chief, and social secretary.

Anyone else already missing Michelle Obama? Hell, we’d even settle for Laura Bush.

Related: Trapped in a gilded cage: Does Melania Trump deserve our sympathy?