Television viewers this week were treated to an hour-long infomercial by Donald Trump under the guise of a victory speech. (Special thanks you to the television networks that contributed to a deeper understanding of the American political process by sticking with the whole thing.)
Among the products that likely leader of the Republican party pitched were Trump steaks, Trump wine, Trump water and Trump, the magazine.
Let’s see if The Donald suggests any more Trump brands at tonight’s GOP debate in Miami, when he squares off against Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, Florida Sen. Marco Rubio, and Ohio Gov. John Kasich.
But surely there are plenty more products that the would-be leader of the free world could be marketing.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Here are just a handful that occur to us. Feel free to add your own in comments.
Trump Cement. Incredibly strong. One bag builds a ten-foot wall. Best of all, Mexico buys it for you.
Trump Condoms. Makes you the best lover ever. Comes in only one size: YUUUUGE.
Trump Church. Forget the little cracker. We serve Trump signature chocolate chip cookies at Communion. (And Trump wine, of course.) Scripture readings are from the Art of the Deal. It’s the Church God would build if he had the money.
Trump Gay Pride Parade. No one has ever seen a better parade. Ivanka has her own float. Everything done up in gold. Just $100 to attend. No gays allowed.
Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons
1EqualityUSA
Trump lubricant, slicker than most, for women too grossed out on their wealthy, misogynist husbands. The poor dear. She works so hard for her money. At least he’s small. Look for the gaudy, glittering, gold dispenser, shaped like the gun the he’s licensed to carry. Gold-stubby-finger…the man with the Midas touch…
Alistair Wiseman
But none of these products would compare with Hillary’s – a bright orange jumpsuit.
Hillary for Prison 2016
Glücklich
I got your Trump Gucci right here, fuck-face.
http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Gucci-face-tattoo-high-point-of-Fresno-6879957.php#photo-9578660
1EqualityUSA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZI-gLvJePlQ
1EqualityUSA
Bright orange, eh, it looks as though Trump has already grabbed that look.
1EqualityUSA
In the film above, notice how Scott Walker’s skin crawls. He’s so uncomfortable toeing the Party line. This is what I mean by the Republican Party going obsolete. Even your own are not your own. As rats leave this sinking ship, the U.S.S Bigot, so shall spineless, smarmy, deceivers such as, Scott Walker. Watch the muscles in his face, the plastic expression, practiced in the mirror (ew) bubbles underneath with artifice. Will horns protrude any second? ew. gross-out-factor in the red. If you are not truthful, it shows on your face. Governor Scott would do well to stay away from poker games, do tell.
Glücklich
@1EqualityUSA:
Is the USS Bigot a frigate? One hopes Assholistair Sizequeen and his ilk choose the noble path and go down (ha!) with the ship.
1EqualityUSA
aye-aye, Cap’n. “Arrghhhh! There’s nothin’ too disgustin’ for ol’ Dick Wench.”
Bauhaus
@1EqualityUSA:
Ouch. Painful!
@Glücklich:
Grody and bullseye!
1EqualityUSA
sorry. I’ll clean the basement instead. It’s just too easy…bright orange.
Bauhaus
@1EqualityUSA:
Sorry for what?! More comments and videos, please!
1EqualityUSA
Bauhaus, well, ok, just for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A5DftXzIqs
Alistair Wiseman
One of your seven posts has a “film” from MSNBC in which you twice identify the interviewed as “Scott Walker”.
The interview is with Governor Rick Scott of Florida and not Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin.
GayEGO
Ooh! Trumpy Wumpy products, I haven’t seen anything good coming from Drumpf!
1EqualityUSA
Alistair, thanks for pointing this out. My mind does that a lot with these two. It has for years. Sorry for the error.
Bauhaus
@1EqualityUSA:
Well that was a fun little journey! Here’s some music to play while you tackle the basement – even if it isn’t exactly your cup of T, it’s beautiful.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CvFH_6DNRCY
1EqualityUSA
Bauhaus, this piece was very nice. It’s raining outside? It is here.
Enjoy your day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmrRwX2jmFU
Bauhaus
@1EqualityUSA:
Lovely. She’s one of my favorites. Her voice often gives me chills. No rain here – warm and beautiful.
rickhfx
Does his wife really have sex with him?
Alistair Wiseman
@rickhfx:
“Does his wife really have sex with him?”
How should I know? They say Hillary is lesbian. Maybe if Hillary still had sex with her husband there would be fewer sexual assault accusations against him.
NoCagada
Trump with his piss-yellow deflated beehive hair and orange panda makeup