LOVE/HATE

Five Things Homos Love To Hate (In Addition To Kim Davis)

635773470065997560-GTY-487308536We have a confession to make: We love Kim Davis. Or rather, we love to hate Kim Davis.

Related: PHOTOS: Kim Davis Memes Just Keep Getting Better

She’s the perfect villain. She’s privileged (white, middle class, hetero) and in a position of power, and she’s been using those two things to impose her religious beliefs upon others. And all the while she’s been getting tons and tons of attention for it, in which she visibly delights.

Related: Kim Davis’ Marriage History Explained In One Handy Flowchart

How could anyone not love to hate a person like that?

Of course, it helps to know that the Notorious K.I.M. is legally wrong, and even most conservatives agree. And just think about how much fun is it to denounce her, and that feeling of moral superiority it provides. Then, of course, there are all the memes.

This got us to thinking about all the other things we homos love to hate.

Scroll down for five other things…

Madonna

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For whatever reason, gay men love trashing Madonna for sport. If we’re not criticizing her for an age we already are or soon will be (“How dare she be 57!”), we’re tearing apart her new single (“Featuring Nicki Minaj? Again? Really?!”) or rolling our eyes at her latest red carpet antic (“Can you believe she flashed her butt? Ew! Gross!”)… Then we drop $350 to watch her shake her sexy lady butt while knowing all the words to the songs we profess to hate. It’s the weirdest thing.

Straight women in gay bars

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Nothing kills a buzz faster than when a bachelorette party rolls up to a gay bar ready to boogie to the latest Britney jam. It’s every gay man’s worst nightmare: squealing women dancing on tables in a desperate ploy for male attention. But, secretly, we enjoying watching these ladies get progressively more intoxicated until they are eventually escorted out of the building. And, of course, we’re the ones who often invite them inside in the first place, just to show them what they can’t have. It helps to reaffirm our homosexuality by reminding us why we’re gay in the first place.

Shirtless men at Pride

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We criticize these guys for giving us a bad name and perpetuating the the myth that all gay men are lascivious, sex-crazed narcissists, while at time drooling over them and secretly hoping that maybe, just maybe, we’ll bump into one (or three) of them at the bar later.

Condoms

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Let’s face it, condoms just aren’t sexy. They remind us of all the things that could go wrong when having sex: stinky messes, diseases, infections, etc. But they’re necessary because they keep us healthy. So we wear them, boys. Even though we hate them. Whomp, whomp. And don’t forget about PrEP.

Frat boys

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We hate them because of what they represent: heterosexism, elitism, douchebaggery, etc. We denounce their lack of proper hygiene, their terrible sense of style, their ill manners. Yet at the same time we love them because they’re kinda hot and because, even though they’re probably pretty sloppy and selfish in the sack, we still kinda sorta want to hook up with them, even if just for the bragging rights.

Related: 10 Totally Obnoxious Things You Have To Be Gay To Fully Understand