Straight Not Narrow

Five Reasons Every Straight Man Should Go Gay At Least Once Or Five Times

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Straight men, take heed. You’re acting way more gay than ever before, and that’s OK. Marriage equality, having been baked into the constitution, gives you even more permission to be gayer than ever before. By God, homosexual sodomy is legal in every state.

Between cuddling with their bros, getting off on gay porn, and experimenting with anal play, it’s time for you hetero guys to just start hooking up with us gay guys already. And we’re not just saying this cause we wanna hook up with you. Really, you are not that hot. This is for you, dude.

Even if it’s just a one time thing.

Scroll down for five reasons why every straight man should try going gay …

5. It will satisfy your lifelong curiosity.

Any self-identifying straight man who says he’s never once thought about what it might be like to bed another guy is lying. It’s natural to feel curious about things that are foreign to you.

It’s always a good idea to outside of our comfort zone. That’s how we learn and grow. So why not stop fantasizing and actually give it a college try? Remember: If you don’t like it, you’ll never have to do it again.

4. Gay men make excellent lovers.

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You know those filthy things you see in porn that kinda turn you on but that you would never actually ask your girlfriend to try because she’d probably think you’re a total pervert? Well, we’ll do it! All you have to do is ask. (Politely, of course. Well, demanding it can work too!)

When it comes to sexual inhibitions, many gay men, well, lack them. That’s why we invented things like Folsom Street Fair and Up Your Alley. That’s also why people like Rick Santorum and Ken Cuccinelli are so afraid. We’ll boldly go where your girlfriends and wives have never gone before. And it’ll make you feel so good.

Related: Straight Guy Opens Up About All The Stuff He Likes Done To His Butt

3. The humbling experience of being penetrated.

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As straight men, you’re used to being the ones doing the penetrating. But haven’t you ever wondered what it might feel like to be on the receiving end? Hint: It’s pretty f-ing amazing. Not only that it’s an extremely humbling experience, and in a good way. Watch your arrogance leave your body as fast as your clothing, to be replaced by the knowledge that you took it like a man.

True, the first time can be a bit shocking, and you’ll need need to prepare with some stretching and cleaning. (A new jock strap never hurts either.) But as long as you remember to breathe, you’ll be fine. We promise. And when it’s over, not only will you have experienced the most mind-blowing, earth-shattering orgasm of your life, but you’ll walk away with a greater understanding of what sex feels like for your female counterparts.

(P.S. Here are a few tips on how to lose you anal virginity with aplomb.)

2. It will make a gay man sooooo happy!

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There are some guys out there who have dedicated much of their social lives to to seducing straight men, often with only sporadic success (of course that’s before we published this helpful little article). Many have tried, failed, and then lied about it. (We’re talking about you, gay dude who swears that he hooked up with his college roommate after a party one time and you, gay porn stars, who claim to have been seduced by Tom Cruise in an Italian Villa. Yes, we know he’s shorter in real life than he appears on screen. You can Google that.)

By giving into your own curiosities, you’re also giving some gay man out there bragging rights for a lifetime. For the remainder of his years, he will tell his buddies about the time he got naked with a hetero guy. You could be that hetero guy.

1. You might like it.

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Remember when you were a kid and you said you hated brussels sprouts, even though you had never really tried them, then when you were adult you realized that, actually, brussels sprouts are pretty delicious, especially when tossed with olive oil and roasted?

The same could very well apply to gay sex. You may take a dip in the man pond and realize it’s actually a ton of fun. And, no, just because you tried it once and kinda liked it doesn’t make you gay. You’re more than welcome to go back to your straight “lifestyle” in the morning.

We won’t judge you for it.

Related: Straight Guy Tries Bottoming On Camera, Says “It Feels Pretty Good”

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90 Comments

  • Bailey-Quin Taylor

    Just like the five reasons every Gay Man should eat a vagina once or five times. Have you read them? You should.

  • jayj150

    So, a reverse version of the kind of trash right wingers tell gay people at conversion camps. That gay men would ‘might just start liking’ vaginas if ‘we’d just give them a chance’; how about we simply respect other people’s sexual orienation. And thanks for perpetuating the stereotype that all gay men like being penetrated and are attracted to straight men.

  • Gregg Jabarisidiki

    Every thing isn’t for everyone. Article is ????

  • Mike Hathaway

    And, well, written like, well, some, well, 14-year old like, well, girl, spewed it forth as an entry for, well, her diary.

  • Wahya73

    I second what jay said

  • Michael Miller

    Fence crossing straight dudes thrive on discretion, their “manliness” cannot come into question. You’re scaring them off, can it! :-p

  • Dale Bishop

    I blocked queerty for this reason. … Lame

  • Craig Shapiro

    Statistically most men have at least have one Gay experience, and many more fantasies. No biggie, over 90% of all animals are bi atleast. I’ve been intamit with a number of woman, I’ve even been the center of attention with five lesbians. But sex with men is much more intense and explosive. And i have had the great pleasure in pleasuring a number of straight men. They truly appreciate the intense difference. A few of my straight men have been in my life for many years. And that’s a good, rather great thing.

  • Billy Budd

    Boys usually have sexual experiences with other boys when they are very young and later most of them turn out to be straight.

  • avesraggiana

    This is borderline offensive towards straight men. “Try it, you might like it” (pounding pu$$y) was what I heard my whole life long after coming out. It grated on me then, it grates on me now.

  • Mike Muniz

    Michael Travis Risner ;)

  • Sean G Romanuk

    You lost me here, Justin David Merchant.

  • Jacob Kresky

    Just don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.

  • Tommy Martin-Edwards

    Why is bottoming “humbling”? I read all these articles about “bottomshaming” and then it’s humbling? Queerty, stick to the news and leave the clickbait to addictinginfo or something.

  • Bob Buck

    This is the biggest pile of bullshit I have ever read. Yes I’m Gay.

  • Ladbrook

    Yeah whatever. We just spent the past 40-50 years trying to convince the world that we “don’t recruit” and here’s Queerty… uhm… recruiting. Great. Welcome to 1974.

  • Glücklich

    #3 Count me out. The buttgasm eludes me. If they mean straight men, once penetrated, will understand the obligatory chore their girlfriends/wives tolerate after a six pack and Colts win…at least that’s how I feel about being penetrated. Chore.

  • Hank Trout

    Oh yuck! No way! The last thing on earth I’m interested in is having sex with a man whom I have to teach how to do it!

  • Jim Teutsch

    I totally relate…this is my opening line to my facebook profile. People are just way too frickin uptight about, well…verything! “Ciao bella! Ciao bello! WECOME TO ME, but I’ll warn you now to proceed with caution…this is a peek inside the somewhat demented mind of a person who thinks he was born out of time; a wandering soul, adrift on the sea of chaos.”

  • Sluggo2007

    I have had sex with many men who claim to be straight. Not one of them has ever complained that they didn’t like it and, in several cases, they were the aggressors.

  • DistingueTraces

    The thirst is real.

  • Oscar Scheepstra

    No. Sorry, this is dumb and offensive. 5 reasons a gay man should go straight:
    1- you wont be killed for your sexual orientation on quite a few countries (due to law and violence)
    2- the church will not tell you you will burn in hell
    3- you will be able to get married anywhere in the world
    4- you wont be called faggot, homo, disgusting or anything like that!
    5- society wont see you as a sex and drug-driven machine.

    But still, I never wish I was straight. So…

  • Raphael

    WTF is that? What is wrong with this fucking site?

  • Sean Daniel Underwood

    I didn’t have to go to the article. The topic’s title has BULLSHIT everywhere.

  • Ryan Patrick Hinkel

    This is a two way street though what are the five reasons a gay guy should try straight sex?? Lol

  • Joey Torrealba

    Well I already had sex with a Women but guess what I didn’t like it much. Sorry that’s the reason why I am Gay plus I am more attractive to men. Plus theirs some women that I find very good looking but it’s just to much to handle plus being straight is just to complicated.

  • Nicholas Brackett

    My now husband was with women since he was 14. He has two kids. We got together over 3 years ago and married almost two years ago. I’m the only guy he’s ever been with and we are so in love. It can happen, just never know! :)

  • aliengod

    Another ridiculous article from Queerty about “straight men”. Can you not accept that most men are heterosexual? We, as gay men, would be so offended if the article was about how gay men should at least try pu**y one or five times. Very disrespectful!

  • Josh447

    LoL All these negative comments make me wonder if I’m in a nunnery full of ugly man hating lesbians. Who doesn’t want a trist with a hot Str8 guy? Paleeeze, quit lying.

    Love the article! It made me chuckle a lot. Str8 Curious wanna be boy toys need a little coaxing sometimes. Keeps our sense of adventure thriving. God knows with all the negative crap flying around the world about being gay, we could use some extra curricular “benefits”.

    I prefer Str8 quarterbacks and swim team medalists. How bout we start with that belt buckle. Umm gee, Ok.

  • Mercurical Memo

    When I was a teenager growing up in the suburbs, straight men would tell tales of the gay men that tried stuff on them. And in those tales gay men would regret ever having gone there. When I first started coming out in my late teens and early twenties my straight male acquaintances were very clear that they were cool with me being gay but RESPECT their boundaries. Many gay men have been brutalized, bullied and tortured for only a perceived notion that they were eyeing a hetero.

    It is disgusting how this article goes out to trivialize all of that. Guess what, we don’t live on a pornoset. That’s not real life.

    Just as it would be offensive for a straight man to pretend a woman, regardless of whether she is actually straight or gay or simply not interested is somehow available to her by virtue of being a woman, so too this strikes the same.

    And this, is clearly anti-male post. Not only that, but akin to rape and sexual harassment. Except whereas the sexual harassment is coming from a man to a woman who doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘no’ so too this article goes out to do the same.

    This is an offensive piece of trash.

  • Garrett Piersa

    Way to go, Queerty. It’s not like the heterosexuals don’t already think we’re a bunch of butt-sex obsessed perverts who “choose” the way we are. You’re just perpetuating a heinous stereotype.

  • Josh Morford

    Mike Bruce Mike Hays Ken Ke Potestio

  • jwtraveler

    Straight men are not “acting way more gay than ever before”. They are acting less homophobic. There’s a BIG difference.
    And reality check: Most men really are straight. Get over it.

  • Damon Robbins

    I know a lot of straight married guys that have voiced their boredom and lack of sex, I would never cross the line but I think some would go for it, just maybe.

  • Lisa Eades

    Dave strongly disagrees!!

  • L Daniel E Kaufman

    …on a gay site where they won’t see it…good one queerty you maroons.

  • Aleks Aleks Aleks

    You can’t turn gay even if its “temporarily” >_>

  • Roy Robbins

    How stupid is this..this is exactly the kind of CRAP the right likes to throw in our faces.

  • Jeff C. Hill

    I would bet that’s already happening with this younger generation. I would bet on it.

  • Joshua Serpico

    What a stupid fucking article.

  • Curty

    This is complete stupidity. If anything thing those in the closet may go further reading this shit…

  • Curty

    My Brother is straight and he has said he has NEVER had those feelings. I believe him… He is very supportive but a straight person does NOT want sex from the same sex. A bi person would.

  • Curty

    I’m not attracted to straight men… hmm queerty some of your stereotypes are being dismissed…

  • Lukas Montana

    So many typos in this article. Jesus

  • Ivan Perez

    actually I don’t think its a bad idea I mean we as humans only think its wrong to be gay because of the way that our society is and says. if it weren’t such a taboo I’m sure many straight men would be more curious or willing to experiment more

  • Captain Obvious

    We fight for years to convince people that sexuality isn’t a choice only to have some privileged assholes try their hardest to undo that every chance they get.

    So tired of this sexual fluidity nonsense it’s immature and damaging to our own fight for equality. This is stuff you grow out of by the time you finish college, just stop already.

  • Billy Sims

    Mmmm I wish lol

  • JJ24

    @Captain Obvious: Completely agree, sexuality is fluid if your bisexual and then it’s not fluid your levels of attraction are.

  • JJ24

    And here as a out proud gay man are the reasons you should say no to said straight guy

    1. You can kiss that friendship goodbye.
    2. You can never look at him again cause he will flip out.
    3. He will leave right after with out saying a single word treating you like a whore.
    4. He will never feel the same way you feel about it or him.
    5. You deserve to be better than a experiment.

  • JJ24

    Oh and reason six

    6. Straight men are greedy in bed.

    After all women can fake orgasm a lot easier then a guy can.

  • jayj150

    @Craig Shapiro: Yeah, sorry to inform you all of those men you’ve “kept in your life” for years are bisexual, not straight.

  • Curty

    Straight people don’t have sex with same sex! My God… wtf has definitions changed now? Is white black? Is grass grey? Is the sky purple? Is straight bisexual now? :-/

  • OzJosh

    Clearly, the limited intellects at Queerty think this kind of article is funny. Unfortunately, this is exactly the kind of rubbish that encourages all kinds of self-destructive thinking within the gay community. Take a look at dating websites and see how many gay men now have serious delusions about hooking up with “straight” guys or, even worse, aren’t at all interested in anyone who identifies as “gay”. There’s now virtually a sub-class of deluded, self-hating homos who kid themselves that they are only having sex with straight or bi guys – straight or bi guys who exclusively have sex with men, have never seen a vagina, and also kid themselves that they’re only having sex with straight and bi guys. It’s utterly pathetic, and Queerty should be more enlightened that to encourage crazy internalised homophobia.

  • McShane

    Nope.
    I would much rather eat those aggressively underseasoned Brussels sprouts.

  • Matthew Perkins

    Implying that you can just turn it on or off huh? I’m gonna “go gay” for the night….

  • SonOfKings

    This compulsive fascination with straight guys just needs to stop. They ar not interested in anything that does not smell like pussy.

  • jason smeds

    What a lot of modern gay men forget is that, when the anti-homosexual laws were formulated centuries ago, there was no such thing as a gay identity. These anti-homosexual laws were thus NOT designed to prevent gay-identifying men from having sex with each other. They were designed to prevent all men – including what we today call “straight men” – from being tempted into having sex with other men.

    There has always been a fear that men who usually have sex with women could be seduced into having sex with other men. This fear is the basis for the anti-homosexual laws.

    The fear of a man turning away from women and directing his erotic affections to other men is the basis for much of the legal and social homophobia that exists out there today, and which has existed for a long time.

  • RobvR

    If a christian website would do the same article but the other way around, the entire gay community would become hysterical. Gay men don’t go straight, straight men don’t go gay. Simple as that. The forbidden fruit is always nice to fantasize about as long as you don’t expect anything.

  • Michael Jarboe

    Been there done that with women. It was fine, wasn’t great, but I’ll admit that I learned from it and don’t regret it. All in all its not a bad idea. Many men are curious. So why not, it’s sex, not murder. It’s like eating bugs when in a foreign country. Interesting to try once, but don’t really have to repeat it, except maybe those toasted crickets if I ever see them again because they were actually pretty tasty.

  • Kollin Hutchison

    danngit then why the heck was I told it had to be 10 times??!!

  • Eoin Maher

    5 reasons why everyone should be more like me.

  • Alan David Smith

    are we going to start having sex with women. sure there are a lot of hot straight guy’s. and they are fun in fantasy. but the truth is that when you put out a story that encourages the flexability. of heterosexual’s. but say we are all equal. then you are basically saying to every homosexual. you need to try straight sex.

  • martinbakman

    @Josh447: As a young man not yet 20 I wanted to experience eating a brussel sprout. It was not enjoyable. I almost gagged. I quickly moved on. I’m not ashamed that I tried it, but clearly there is no interest on my part in eating brussel sprouts, no matter how hard the wishful thinking of the small minority of brussel sprouts advocates that want me to partake.

  • Saint Law

    In my experience – which is extensive – there are two reasons straight identifying men actually have sex with men and neither makes the list.

    1) As a substitute for a woman.

    2) Out of affection.

  • Jordan Seals-Smith

    I would not encourage a straight man to go gay unless he voiced a need to expirement, and that’s on him, not me… We all expirement. I’m gay, I tried the female thing and hated it, I’m not wired for it. My goal was procreation and I got me and my husband a son, but otherwise no. Please don’t make it look like its a choice when clearly it is not.

  • bottom250

    I have been with many so called straight men.

  • DjARD

    @Craig Shapiro:

    Actually, statistically, they don’t. At its highest number, all available statistics (and there are many) indicate at most about 13% or so of all men have had same-sex experience. So about 13 out of a hundred average men will have had some form of same sex contact (note that this includes just kissing). It’s not actually as common as one would think.

    Those men you’ve “kept in your life” aren’t straight, nor are they gay. They may not even be bi – they just are. Fluid might be a term, but even that seems too narrow. Maybe “interest in sexual aspects only with other men” (so, heteroromantic but not heterosexual)?

  • DjARD

    @Captain Obvious:

    I was with you until that second part. Thanks for invalidating other’s (including myself) identity.

  • DjARD

    Well, this was utter hogwash. Let us count the presumptions of this article very swiftly, shall we?

    1.) Sexuality can be changed.

    2.) Binary sexuality is all that exists. There is no gray.

    3.) Further, binary sexuality is inherently *correct*; there could not possibly be flaws in the way we observe sexuality.

    4.) Every man secretly wants to bed another man.

    5.) Every non-straight identifying man is a man-flesh hungry orc who’s DTF in the utmost kinkiest of ways 24/7.

    6.) Every non-straight identifying man wants straight-identifying ones and views the bedding of won as some sort of competition/trophy.

    7.) Everybody wants sex, period.

    8.) Anal sex is something all men will like and want.

    9.) Queerty needs more content daily and should shit out half-assed, brain-breakingly offensive articles to meet such a quota.

    Like, I could seriously go on forever. But I have shit to do today. Let’s just get the big thing out of the way, though.

    It’s become increasingly clear to me that sexuality is a totally individual thing. Sexuality is the result of hormonal and genetic influences in conjunction with environment. No one person has the same confluence of such, although many have broadly similar nature/nurture backgrounds. Thus, although many people broadly fall into binaries (“gay”, “straight”), it’s not always the case, and even then they may not fit into it perfectly. Others very clearly don’t in any way, and are more “bisexual”, or “pansexual”, fluid, whatnot. Perhaps the best way to put it is that Bob is not gay, nor is he straight, nor is he bi, nor is he fluid; Bob is Bob, for all the contradictions that holds, though he more broadly seems/identifies as one of those. The same goes for Alice. Make sense? (That is just my own theory/opinion.)

  • Curty

    In all fairness do a post on why gay men should have sex with women… my as well add to this stupidity. The obvious not being point out if you enjoy consensual sex with both sexes you are BISEXUAL!

  • TheGregoryProject

    “go gay” … what are we, 10 ?

  • Daggerman

    ..all men are secretly wanting some gay contact, but no-one ought to know except the other man!

  • EbonyOnly

    Article like this only hurt our community. You don’t turn on Gay / Straight like a light switch.

    Gay men need to respect Straight men more. They are trying to understand us. Why do we have to always be campy Queens and make fun of them. That only separates us.

  • Reefer

    @jason smeds: Acceptance of homosexuality is inevitable due to the ready availability of gay porn. In another generation man-on-man sex will be as acceptable a form of sexual release for hetero men as for gay men.

  • connorlarkin19

    @DjARD: I agree with your summation. I am currently having casual sex with 6 more or less binary straight boys. 4 of 5 have a young child and live with the baby momma GF. Each individual is sui generis in talking, experimenting and widening of their sexual fantasies UPON Each episode. , Each sexual experience and Each post-conversation is a process that has gone from sexual initiation to Each individual bonding. Usually, the biggest contention was anal play with my finger. Now all feel comfortable with it and 3 look forward to it.

    Again, the feeling that it is what you do and not as Much as who you do it with that counts. Obviously, it satisfies a new sexual feeling and anticipation different from their het experiences.

    My good gay friend is and has always been a nazi-gay on life that is either black or white in his mind & sexual needs and wants. HE cannot understand sexual complexity or nuance.

    Of course, that is ‘gay-driven’ since he is a typical guy at the bars and/or Grindr looking for a ‘husband’ or Prince Charming.

  • pronomos

    I found this article after searching for “Straight Man Gay Friend”..I have a friend that’s gay. I’m straight, and I just wanted to read about others experience with this “issue”, of being a straight male and having a gay male friend.

    One of my room mates is gay and we get along great. We’re both interested in computers and earn our money working in the same field (web development / programming ). We play PC MMORPGs like Eve Online and Everquest together, we go to the gym together, we go to Starbucks together in the morning, we just hang out…And we share the same views on politics (We’re both Libertarians / “Fiscal Conservatives”). We’re in our 40s, grew up in the 1980s and we like to hear Depeche Mode, The Cure, Industrial Music….We’re both single, never married, we’re both veterans, I could go on and on…I have more in common with him than with my other two roommates who are straight. We’ve known each other now for about 10 months. He’s one of my best friends, my buddy.

    Anyways..This article makes certain assumptions about being straight that I don’t particularly agree with. For what it’s worth, I’m throwing my 2 cents into the discussion. If a man feels sexual attractions towards other men, and it goes beyond just a thought, to actually acting that out, which might include as the article suggests..Engaging in intercourse with another man, then he’s not straight. He’s either a homosexual or bisexual.

    A straight man has no sexual attraction to masculinity. The mere thought of making out with another man, having his tongue, saliva in my mouth, repulses me. I don’t mean to be offensive, or to give my gay friends reading this the impression that I’m suggesting homosexuality is wrong or “disgusting”, I’m not saying that. I’m just saying that for a genuinely straight man, like my self, we’re sexually “wired” to be attracted to the feminine. Females, particularly, attractive females, are delicious. Like Häagen-Daz Icecream. There’s no “Yuck” factor or feelings there.

    A straight man, a masculine man, is not going to allow another man ( or a woman for that matter, with a “strap-on” for example..) to treat him sexually like a woman (he adopts the role of the feminine or woman..). Sexually, there’s a certain natural, power dynamic, between the masculine and feminine. The masculine penetrates, we’re the “insertive” partners, and the feminine is the receptive. So, it would cause in extreme amount of psychological trauma, anxiety, for a straight man to adopt the role of the feminine or “receptive” partner. The “submissive” role of a female, within the act of sexual intimacy.

    (..The only way a straight man will allow himself to be penetrated by another man, is in a medical procedure. The classic, doctor with the latex glove, finger in the rear prostate exam. Let’s just say, it’s an awkward, unique, interesting situation. I had it done to me a couple of years ago and I had to BarBQ a sirloin steak, chop some firewood (mid July) and watch a Chuck Norris movie to recover.)

    I went to a gay nightclub here in NYC, with my friend, and met some of his gay friends. You’ve all converted me from a typical stereotypical homophobe, to a staunch defender of gay rights. I will always defend your human rights and take it personally if I see a gay person being denigrated or threatened in anyway. I just don’t agree with the idea that a genuinely straight man is going to “try out” gay sexual intimacy..If he has such interests, then he’s either a homosexual or bisexual. Nothing wrong with that, embrace it and be happy.

  • CreamOfWeber

    @Craig Shapiro:

    “Statistically most men have at least have one Gay experience”

    That’s absolutely false. Statistically around 2% of men identify as homosexual, 2% as bisexual, and around 6% of straight men have had a “gay experience.” Most men are fairly biologically rigid in their sexual orientation… while most women are more fluid.

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