Meet Mary Gray Black, the drably named 72-year-old City Commissioner of Largo, Florida. This election season she’s running against Michael Smith, a 30-year-old gay guy who sent out a campaign postcard showing how much “he cares for families” by including a picture of himself with his arm around his female friend and her baby.

Black and her God both disapprove of a gay man using such “deceptive” photos to imply heterosexuality. And if you vote for a homo, you should know it’s no better than electing a drunk into office. Why, they’ll both try to have sex with the city’s zoning laws… or something.

At a Central Pinellas Chamber of Commerce luncheon last week, Black told the 50 person crowd, “I feel that my opponent has been very deceptive in his presentation of himself to you I’m going to challenge my opponent to be truthful to you, to give you all of his endorsements, to give you his background and what he truly believes.” By doing so, she not-so-slyly referenced Smith’s pechant for sleeping with men and a campaign contribution made to him by the Stonewall Democrats of Pinellas County, a local LGBT rights organization.

Smith responded by saying, “I think what she is referring to is that I happen to be gay. I’m not running as a gay commissioner, I just happen to be gay. I am not going to be up there pushing this agenda. I think people are more concerned about property taxes and the economy.”

When chamber chairman Keith Bailey, one of Black’s longtime friends and supporters, angrily asked why she brought up Smith’s gay past, Black responded, “It has to do with transparency, the truth and not being misleading. If you’re a drunkard, that’s your lifestyle … He can be whatever he wants to be.”

“Lifestyle.” Nice. And double points for comparing homosexuality to alcoholism. After all, both… involve liquor?

Black’s friend said he won’t vote for her this year, even though he has in every previous election she has run in.

What he may not know though, is that Black has a history of anti-LGBT political sentiment:

“[She decided to run for Largo City Commissioner] after the city considered adding employment and housing protections for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered individuals in 2003. During the campaign, she vowed not to vote for anything that was “contrary to God’s will… . She [also] demanded a meeting to fire [City Commissioner Susan Stanton] less than a week after Stanton [publicly] revealed her transgender status.”

Strange that Black should worry about Smith letting his views on homosexuality affect his political decisions, especially since Black has apparently let her views on homosexuality dictate her political decisions for years now. If it were Friday, she’d qualify for Douche of the Week.

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