CYBER LUST

Florida Idiot Wants to Marry Porn-Filled Computer To Make Point About Marriage Equality

Florida-Photo by Andrew EcclesOf course this story comes out of FloridaChris Sevier has filed a motion to marry his computer, claiming that because he uses it for masturbation, it’s no different from gay couples wanting to marry.

So, to summarize: ugh.

According to this jackass, if gay couples “have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object.” He goes on:

Proponents of gay behavior had made the choice to have sex with members of the same sex, and due to the straight forward science of dopamine, they have become bonded together with a person of the same sex upon repeated orgasm, naturally developing a preference that they argue is worth having state recognition and ratification.

Obviously, Sevier’s argument is offensive and dumb and, as a judge put it, “removed from reality.”

What he’s really trying to do here is derail the case James Domer Brenner et al., v. Rick Scott, one of the marriage equality cases currently working its way through the court system. While Sevier thinks he’s being cute with his little motion, LGBT couples are actually suffering from the lack of legal protection, so what he’s doing is more monstrous than funny.

And it’s not the first time this walking embodiment of Florida has caused stupid legal headlines. A year ago, he tried to sue Apple for selling him a laptop that he could then use to view porn, which he says led to the destruction of his marriage.

We’re just guessing here, but maybe being a tiresome bore and a pain in everyone’s ass didn’t help his marriage much either.

There may be a silver lining to this, though: Sevier made the mistake of filing a second motion that claimed to represent the actual serious plaintiffs. That is a huge legal no-no, and if he tries it again, he would probably face contempt charges, which could include jail time.