Forget Jenny Craig—Lose Weight With Homophobia!

Franchesca Leigh Ramsey is back with another urgent broadcast: It turns out homophobia is good for your waistline!

All those haters promising to boycott Kraft Foods because Oreo released a cute Pride message on its Facebook page are also going to have to give up a lot of other high-calorie treats Americans just love, like Cadbury’s chocolate, Chips Ahoy, Philadelphia Cream Cheese, Oscar-Mayer hot dogs, Teddy Grahams and and Cheez Whiz.

Cut those out of your diet and the pounds will just melt away.