A SCAR IS BORN

Forget RuPaul’s Drag U: Christeene Is The Filthy Future Of Drag

Forget Project Runway, Drag U and Ru Paul’s Drag Race. The next big drag star will be Christeene, an unwashed broke-ass Atlanta hoochie who drops filthy rhymes about “Bustin’ Brown” and “African mayonnaise.” She’s the drag persona of Austin-based performer Paul Soileau and she’s bringing whiskey, buttsex and celebu-trauma to a queer bar near you. (NOTE: Video very NSFW.)

The last two years had taken a big dump on Paul Soileau’s dreams. He had moved to New Orleans with hopes of collaborating with other artists and filmmakers, but then Hurricane Katrina destroyed his home and he fled to Atlanta to perform in Piedmont Park with other refugees while waiting for FEMA to cough up emergency funds. He eventually landed in Austin working at a drive-thru coffeeshop where he entertained his co-workers by singing filthy rap lyrics like “I’ll let you chew on my crab cakes; to hell with the first date, just slide me the beef steak.” But deep down Soileau felt a residual trauma and anger boiling inside of him.

His drag career hadn’t gotten off the ground and a recent P-town talent performance in his seasoned drag persona, the unsinkable old-monied Rebecca Havemeyer, had fallen flat with the rowdy crowd. Rebecca usually had an entire show to ingratiate herself to the audience with song spoofs like “Your Son Will Come Out Tomorrow” and “You Give Me Beaver.” But Paul needed an act that was quick, destructive and fun — something to leave his audience speechless in less than five-minutes.

So he threw on a mangy wig from the trunk of his car, a waist-length hooker coat, shit heels, smeared some lipstick across his gold tooth, slipped on a pair of shades and entered Austin’s Camp Camp — a queer open mic show. He walked up incognito among his own friends and proceeded to have the filthiest sex he could with the microphone stand while occasionally moaning to a Pizzicato 5 song. After the song ended, he disappeared into the night leaving the horrified audience to wonder what the fuck they had just seen.

That night, Christeene was born.