A SCAR IS BORN

Forget RuPaul’s Drag U: Christeene Is The Filthy Future Of Drag

 

I first saw Christeene in a video that quickly got yanked from YouTube, a song entitled “Fix My Dick.” It features a poop-smeared baby and a douche bulb laying on the floor of a graffiti-covered shack while Christeene and her pantied male dancers butt-hump the camera. The song’s fun and raunchier than shit on a dick, but I’m astounded that a version of it still exists on YouTube. It’s one of four videos she made with Trinidad director PJ Raval: there’s also the heartfelt “Tears from My Pussy”, the spastic Panda-sex in “Slowly/Easy”, and her latest video “Bustin’ Brown”, a song that tells straight folks that it’s OKto enjoy anal sex. The video features her Vaseline-covered palms groping two hairy asses while they roll around in an enormous colon.

Christeene scares people, even her fans. “Her show’s abusive,” Soileau says, “I assault myself and the audience.” All the pumping, thrashing, and humping in her 30-minute show motivated Soileau to stop smoking, go vegetarian and spend more riding his bike just keep up with her. After each performance, he hangs out in character to see the reactions of the audience members. The scruffy young men at the Akbar club in LA gave her weird looks when she first arrived and remained stand-offish even after the show, but by 2am they bought her more drinks than she could remember and showered her with hugs and praise adding that they felt just as freaky as she.

“I design my characters to be ignorant, naive, and kind because it’s so important to me that they’re approachable. During the 90s it was very popular [for drag queens] to be mean, to be a bitch, and the meaner the better. That breed of drag I didn’t like at all. There’s an art to the bitchiness of the 90s, a language that was really amazing. But it was mean.” In contrast, Soileau made Christeene what he calls “a baby person.” Like Mike Tyson she’ll rip your ear off onstage but when she speaks she sounds like a nine-year-old.

Christeene’s full-length album Waste Up, Knees Down comes out in November and afterwards she’ll go on tour in “every bar in the world.” Fleshjack, the producers of “butthole in a can,” will sponsor her tour. They’re probably the only business in the world who would sponsor her tour. She’s been to their plant… it smells like burning dildos.

But Soileau’s drag characters aren’t just about friendly camp and shock — in all her brutal, unwashed glory Christeene represents actual genderqueers roaming America’s streets: the queers you’ll never see on The Advocate or primetime TV, the “trannies” who get manhandled, bashed, and ignored or lampooned in newspaper articles. These are the same queers who started the ball culture shown in Paris is Burning, the ones who perfected voguing before Madonna re-appropriated it. Even Havemeyer represents an older generation of queer ally. She’s likely pansexual and has eaten a muffin or two in her day, but she’s curious, fun-loving, and accepting, like the drunken aunt we all wish we had or Aunt Mame after two drug-addled decades swinging in Harlem.