Fran Drescher: My Gay Husband Hated Me After I Left Him

We were best friends in high school. We had a happy marriage and we had a very active sex life. Because of my lack of experience with other men I thought he was metrosexual… Maybe also I didn’t want to look beyond that because… I was afraid to be alone and afraid to admit that I’d made a mistake. About two thirds of the way through our marriage he started therapy and he realized that he was bisexual but choosing to live his life with me… I didn’t really absorb how that made me feel, [and only thought] that he must really love me if he’s not only being honest with me but choosing to live his life with me…

Ultimately I did divorce him and it was not because he was gay, because he hadn’t come out, it was because he was way too controlling… I had to find my own voice and become centered with who I was outside of the relationship… He begged me not to leave and he was extremely angry for doing so… He didn’t talk to me, and when the show [The Nanny] ended, he moved to New York… A year after the show ended our manager called and told him, ‘Fran has cancer,’ and he immediately burst into tears and… his anger melted away and all that was left was the love… from that point forward we began to rebuild all we had.

… when he finally came out it was a huge relief for me because I had harbored so much guilt for having hurt him by abandoning him and divorcing him… the divorce he so adamantly didn’t want at the time gave him the opportunity to explore his authentic self.

– Actress Fran Drescher discussing her relationship with her gay-ex husband.

Image via Manfred Werner – Tsui

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  • Cam

    @jason: said…

    “straight-identifying men, most of whom are actually bisexual in terms of their fantasies”

    I don’t buy that MOST straight men are bi. I had PLENTY of straight friends, who….if they were gay or bi, would have been out at the bars and clubs quite often.

  • Polyboy

    Jason, you hate women, we get it. You cut and paste and slightly re-edit your anti-woman screeds. You need your own website.

  • Joetx

    Wait, so is he gay or bi?

  • Mimi

    Whats the matter Jason, did mommy not love you?

  • j

    @Mimi: Who could by the sounds of things?? And if she did is this the thanks she gets?

    @Joetx: He said he was bi because he obviously loved his wife (in a platonic way) and didn’t want to lose her and couldn’t be honest with himself. Much more common than it is now (seems alien to me) in people a bit older and tragically sad regardless of age. I’ve nothing but sympathy for the both of them and hope they’re rebuilding a strong friendship!

  • christopher di spirito

    Fran was his meal ticket. I’m sure he loved the lifestyle as much as he loved Fran.

  • jason

    I think a lot of you underestimate the power of stigma in preventing straight-identifying men from admitting to same-sex feelings.

  • Miss Understood

    I would marry Fran in an instant! If I can’t have Fan I’ll settle for Sylvia.

  • Queer Supremacist

    If we still had to marry women I’d pick her over Liza any day. She’s much prettier.

    Incidentially, she was also in Weird Al Yankovic’s movie “UHF”, alongside racist Michael Richards and homophobe Victoria Jackson. That’s going to be one awkward cast reunion.

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