You’ll never believe who won’t be allowed onstage at tonight’s presidential debate, organized by the South Carolina Republican Party and Fox News. Why, it’s none other than Fred Karger, the first openly gay man to run for president. How do you like that!
They say that it’s because he hasn’t polled well enough, but Rick Santorum’s been polling pretty poorly and he’ll be there. But Fox News has only included Karger in a poll once — and when they did, he passed the 1% threshhold that should have qualified him to participate in the debate.
But no matter! He may be an interesting candidate with some compelling ideas and a dedicated following on college campuses; but he is also a gay, so most Republicans will assume that all of his ideas are about butts.
Of course, a bunch of the usual heterosexual suspects will be allowed to speak. You’re surely all too familiar with Rick Santorum and all his unpleasant associations. We’ll also see Tim Pawlenty, former Minnesota governor and sufferer of a sexless marriage. He vetoed a bill that would have allowed gay couples to dispose of each others’ remains.
How about we take this to the next level?
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Ron Paul will be there — you remember him, don’t you? He’s the guy who said that gay couples are “an act of social engineering profoundly hostile to liberty.” And then there’s Gary Johnston, the divorced Governor of New Mexico. Johnston dodges the marriage issue by saying that it’s up to states to decide, and that civil unions are just fine with him.
And of course, what kind of debate would it be without Herman Cain, CEO of Godfather’s Pizza? You know, good old Herman. “Marriage is between a man and a woman,” he says, when he’s not busy flipping pizzas in the air and promising not to hire any Muslims.
Undaunted by the lockout, Karger will hold a press conference today at 3pm in Greenville, South Carolina, to talk about “what I would have said in tonight’s debate.” We hope it’s something like, “get a load of these clowns.”
NoTribe
“Johnston dodges the marriage issue by saying that it’s up to states to decide, and that civil unions are just fine with him.”
You have a fundamental misunderstanding. Its not a dodge at all, but rather his libertarian principle. Johnson has stated multiple times that the only involvement of the federal government is civil unions, for whatever sexual orientation. And that churches should form marriages.
His position is one of equal rights for all.
Cam
@NoTribe: said…
“You have a fundamental misunderstanding. Its not a dodge at all, but rather his libertarian principle. Johnson has stated multiple times that the only involvement of the federal government is civil unions, for whatever sexual orientation. And that churches should form marriages.”
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Yes, but that is a doge because currently under our system that is not how it plays out. So to be true to his supposed princples he should either say that gays should have equal marriage rights under the current law, or he should have as part of his platform the disentanglement of the Federal govt. from anything relating to marriage and state that he would push for civil partnerships for all.
Since he won’t do that, his comments are most definitly a dodge.
Lonnie
Fred Karger is to the Republicans what queers are to the Democrats: he keeps begging, but they won’t let him in and all they want is his money.
Pinkish Hugh
Anyone who thinks Fred Karger is working against you, raise your hand. Okay, now slap that hand really hard, because you’re an idiot. Karger is making gains among a group whose values traditionally tend to exclude us, so why does Queerty berate him for his efforts? I for one commend the man on making a name for himself, especially in the face of such adversity.
matt baume
I’m looking for the part of the article where we berate Fred Karger but I can’t find it.
Zachary Banks
That is just unfair and cruel. I would not want a president immature enough to lock someone out of a debate, just because they are gay.
Shannon
Herman Cain is the new Alan Keyes…
Grevin
There needs to be a non-biased third party that runs the debates for both sides. I am sick of both the Republicans, and Democrats excluding anyone who actually supports gay rights from the debates.
Anonymous
As a pro-gay libertarian conservative, Fred’s candidacy excites me. Run Fred, run! I’m also disappointed by your distasteful comments on Ron Paul and Gary Johnson.
Queer Supremacist
The only supporter of 100% gay equality is a Republican. Who’d have thunk it? And he’s twice blessed.
This guy has my vote in 2012 no matter what. This gay Jew is no longer trusting heterosexual gentiles to represent his interests.