French Android App Answers “Is My Son Gay?” And “Am I Stupid?”

Hey random French parent! Want to know if your son is gay? No need to have a heart-to-heart conversation or pay attention to their social habits—just download a $1.99 app and let a 20-question computer program decide for you. It’s just like letting a robot raise your kids! Quelle moderne!

A French Apple Android application program called “Is My Son Gay?” helps concerned parents assess their child’s fruitiness by asking if their son has athletic prowess, enjoys reading the newspaper, or has a live-in dad. The app then tells parents if their son is probably gay and they should just “accept it” or whether “You have nothing to worry about… you have a very good chance of being a grandmother with all the joys that brings.”

Even better, downloading the app instantly tells you if your kid has “un parent stupides.”

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  • Lefty

    oui, votre fils est un fagot :(

  • gayfrog

    Yes it’s for Android for a change, and it’s not even $1.99, it’s €1.99, which is all the more expensive for 20 idiotic, homophobic, stereotypical questions…

    The app got 5 stars on the Android Market though, which proves once again that anyone can make a living out of stupidity.

    I’m going to translate the 20 questions here, they’re a model of cliché.

  • Little Kiwi

    “You have nothing to worry about…?”

    Really? How about “your son is going to give you four grandchildren from three different women and he’s not going to financially or emotionally support either of them” for an answer?

    You gotta love the idea that having a heterosexual child means having “nothing to worry about”

    yeah. right.

  • gayfrog

    Sorry for my English, it’s a fast translation:

    Do you have any doubts? 20 questions to know if everything is in order with your son. At the end of this well-tried test, you will have the answer to this question you have perhaps been wondering for too long.

    1. Does he care about his clothes, does he pay attention to his outfits and to brands?
    2. Does he like soccer?
    3. Before he was born, were you hopeful for this child to be a girl?
    4. Has he ever fought or been into a fight?
    5. Does he read sport newspapers?
    6. Does he have a best female friend?
    7. Does he like team sports?
    8. Is he modest?
    9. Is he a fan of diva singers (Dalida, Mylène Farmer…)?
    10. Does he spend a lot of time in the bathroom?
    11. Is he wearing a piercing on the tongue, eyebrow, nose or ear?
    12. Does he spend a lot of time doing his hair?
    13. Do you wonder about your son’s sexual orientation?
    14. Are you divorced?
    15. Does he like musicals?
    16. Has he ever introduced you to his girlfriend?
    17. Is the father strict with his son?
    18. In your family, is the father often absent?
    19. When he was a child, was he somewhat shy and quiet?
    20. Does he share a healthy bond with his father?

    Possible outcomes:

    Straight: You have nothing to worry about, your son is not gay. You have a very good chance of being a grandmother with all the joys that brings.

    Gay: You shouldn’t lie to yourself! […] He is gay! […] ACCEPT IT! He is attracted to boys the same way that you are attracted to men.

    So, as you can see, apart from this very last sentence, this is complete, utter bullshit.

  • gayfrog

    Last but not least, the reaction of the app developer, Christophe de Baran, following the little bit of over-exposure in the French press. He says he is “surprised” and even “shocked” by the reaction. He advocates “humor” to “de-dramatize the situation and help mothers accept their son’s homosexuality”. He even announces “a novel” about this topic, and invites gay people “to not fight the wrong fight”…

    How sweet of him, isn’t it.

  • Little Kiwi

    one of the questions might as well be “can you hear your son scream “I LOVE PROJECT RUNWAY” while he masturbates?”

  • Michael

    This is the stupidest invention ever made .Whoever thought up this idea must be braindead.

    I love the does he spend a lot of time in the bathroom one lol WTF does that have to do with being gay to begin with? lol

  • MikeE

    oh my god!
    going by those questions, I SHOULD technically be straight!!!

    I am an utter total failure for not giving my parents grandchildren… unless my cats count?

  • xander

    If any son of mine liked chanteuses Mylène Farmer or Dalida, he’d be sent off to some kind of reparative therapy — not the kind Marcus Bachmann does, but something to improve his taste in music!

    No need to spring for the android app, Moms of the world, these types of pseudo quizzes are available all over the net for free. And worth not a € or a cent other than for the lulz.

  • arnau

    “quelle moderne” doesn’t mean anything in french… and “un parent stupide” without the “s”

    *nerd mod off*

  • Rochi

    Thanks for starting the ball rolling with this inhisgt.

Comments are closed.