FREAK SHOW

From “Bitch Burgers” To Bad Mug Shots, Here Are The Westboro Baptist Church’s Greatest Hits

Westboro-Baptist-Church-HellThe God-fearing folks of the Westboro Baptist Church are taking their freak show on the road.

The hate group has a slew of protests planned in the San Francisco Bay Area this week. They will be visiting all the major tech companies including Facebook, Google, Youtube, and Twitter to protest the industry which they claim is responsible for the degradation of America. Oh, and they’ll be live tweeting the entire thing.

WBC is nothing if not hypocritical. Their extreme antics often make it impossible to take anything they say or do seriously. Once upon a time we used to get offended by their constant rabble rousing. Then, over time, we started to pity them. Now, we can’t help but simply laugh and roll our eyes at a flailing organization that, in recent years, has become a parody of itself.

Scroll down for some of the greatest moments in recent WBC history. 

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The time they accused everyone of eating human babies

“Bitch Burgers. Obama Fries. Both these dripping with your bloody catsup,” the flyer read. “And Slut Shakes. All going to make up your Stem Cell Supper!”

In 2009, WBC members had many people scratching their heads when they said America was a doomed nation on a path towards cannibalism.

Why cannibalism? Well, it turns out this was a bizarre reference to vague statements in the Bible that refer to people of the last days becoming so out of control that they resort to killing and eating their young.

 

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The time they called a five-year-old a “fag enabler”

Last summer, five-year-old Jayden Sink of Kansas City held a lemonade stand across from WBC’s headquarters in hopes of raising money towards a message of love and peace. By the end of the day, she had made an impressive $400.

WBC, however, didn’t appreciate the stunt and sent officials over to harass the little girl and her patrons by screaming profanity at them. The next day, they updated their marquee to read: “FAGS & ENABLERS ALL BURN IN HELL LEMONADE WON’T COOL ANY TONGUES.”

As a result, Sink raised an additional $16,000.

 

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The time Shirley Phelps-Roper got arrested

On June 5, 2007, Shirley Phelps-Roper’s bad behavior caught up to her when she was arrested in on suspicion of contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Police alleged that she encouraged her 10-year-old son to trample on an American flag whilst protesting the funeral of a soldier in Nebraska. And as a result, the world was blessed with this lovely mugshot of the rosy-cheeked hate monger.

 

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The time they threatened to protest Cher‘s concert

Earlier this year, WBC announced plans to protest Cher’s concert in Kansas City, calling the “Believe” hitmaker a giant bundle of “confusion” and “filth.”

In true WBC fashion, however, the protest never actually happened. Turns out they just used Cher’s popularity to try and further their own agenda. Unfortunately for them, their efforts were completely in vain. All 12,904 seats at Cher’s Kanas City concert sold out, earning more than $1 million in ticket sales.

 

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The time the KKK announced it wanted nothing to do with them

This two sentence disclaimer posted on the KKK’s official website back in 2010 speaks volumes.

 

The time they sang in harmony on Vine

Last October, the official WBC quartet showcased their glorious musical harmony skills in a video posted to their Vine account. The foursome, apparently having just finished folding laundry, unleashed their angelic voices to offer a chorus of the beloved Christian hymn “God Hates Fags.”

 

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The time their offspring left in droves

As the children of the original WBC members grow up and develop minds of their own, more and more of them are choosing to leave the church on their own accord.

Fred Phelps’ son Nate was the first to go. He left in 1980, moved to Canada, and became an author and LGBT rights advocate. Last year, Megan and Grace Phelps-Roper announced they had left the church, as did former member Lauren Drain, who went on to pose for the NOH8 campaign. Earlier this summer, Libby Phelps followed suit when she recruited several of her family members to pose in a NOH8 photo shoot as well. 

WBC, if you’re reading, it might be time to break out those bitch burgers and Obama fries, because your end of days seem to be drawing near.

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