There’s an instinctual flinch in our community where sexuality and religious faith intersect. And for good reason. For many LGBT people growing up in strict religious households, rigid belief systems can mean the difference between acceptance and disownment.
It really boils down to whether or not someone takes the time to think things through on their own. If you only base your beliefs on what someone else tells you, there’s bound to be trouble.
In a video that went viral of a boy coming out to his religious parents a few months ago, the mother explains to her son that “you can deny it all you want to, but I believe in the word of God and God creates nobody that way. It’s a path that you have chosen to choose.” There’s nowhere to go from there, really — the boy gets kicked to the curb.
We were interested in hearing from more people caught in the conflict of religious prejudice, so we asked the team at Whisper to see what they could find.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
The stories they came back with are powerful, telling and often tragic.
To see more stories shared confidentially, check out Whisper.
Mikah
Religion is the worst thing to ever happen to sexuality.God is homophobic?Well,apparently God is a moron for giving people same sex attractions and then demanding that they don’t act upon them.He’s also an idiot for giving thousands of other species homosexual tendencies as well.God disapproves of homosexuality,yet it exists all throughout humanity and nature.What an imaginary buffoon.
Alton
Being a gay Christian (or Muslim) is like being a Jewish Nazi, or a black Klansman…or a Log Cabin Republican.
Being gay in our society is hard enough without deliberately burdening yourself with a ludicrous belief system that tells you that the way you express you love is a sin.
DarkZephyr
The celibate gay catholic kid will probably feel very devout for awhile but in time he will likely change his mind. Could take 10 to 15 years but it will happen. Loneliness will do him in.
Trippy
I walked away from religion as a teen and declared myself agnostic. That was 35 yrs ago and I have never regretted it. I have no faith in faith, which means my interest in atheism is just as absent as my interest in Christianity.
With that said, I’ve always thought that the church’s homophobia is far stronger than its sacred texts demand. Homosexuality is not mentioned in the ten commandments, and Jesus never bothered to address it (according to his biographers: Matthew Mark Luke and John).
Trippy
And don’t even get me started on the whole ‘do as I say, not as I do’ hypocrisy thing. The number of priests, preachers, ministers, and Baptist deacons who’ve shoved their rods-of-God into my backside over the past 30 years is practically incalcuable.
1EqualityUSA
Don’t lie. Be true. Dignity is a gift.
NG22
These situations are so heartbreaking. I feel so fortunate to have an accepting family. Growing up in New York and being a millennial also help. But my heart goes out to those less fortunate. I hope they can find peace.
Paul Nadolski
One thing I love about the Dalai Lama’s teachings is that he embraces science. He has said that, if science proves a long-held Buddhist belief is incorrect, then you must abandon that belief and embrace the scientific truth. Now, if only all the other religious leaders of the world could be that open-minded…especially since science has essentially proven what we all know: that you are born gay/bi/trans and there is nothing wrong or immoral about that.
NoCagada
Religion is the fertilizer for making liars and hypocrites out of humans
NoCagada
I love when religious people tell their gay kids, “We always knew”. Then, why stay in a club of superstition that really fux up your kid???
AtticusBennett
i’m so lucky that i was raised by parents who chose, as their religious outlet, the united church of canada. an inclusive, non-dogmatic, non-bigoted, utterly progressive and humanist institution – i had a gay minister growing up. i came out to my congregation as a teen, and it only meant that they all, who’d known me since i was a toddler, love and understood me more.
today, i only have good feelings and memories about my time in that church, even though i am a very happy and proud atheist adult.
to all those still struggling to reconcile their orientation with their faith – religion is a choice. if you still feel a need to have a religious outlet in your life, choose one that is not bigoted. choose one that welcomes and embraces you for who you ARE, not tolerates you as long as you pretend to be what you’re not.
Charlie in Charge
@AtticusBennett: Definitely agree, there are a plethora of faiths that will love you for who you are; there is no reason to remain in one that wants to harm you in body and in spirit.
footwork61
It’s worth noting that, in the video quoted in the introduction, the mother also tells her son that she knew he was gay since he was 4 or 5. So she contradicts herself when she later tells him that he is choosing to be gay and he wasn’t created that way. Did he make that choice at the age of 4 or 5?
Beachhouse
There’s this very interesting documentary on Netflix called “For the bible tells me so”. It’s about very religious families who have a gay son/daughter and how they accept it. It’s touching and they explain very well all the arguments that the religious people says against the gays and how they can easily be contradict.
Ogre Magi
christians and muslims are doo-doo
Ghstboi3
@AtticusBennett: I have to agree with both of you. Even if you are born in a faith you choose to follow it.
SteveDenver
The big problem is RELIGION. Mythology and superstition fashioned into a piggy bank by those with the strongest sales skills.
ALL RELIGION IS BAD.
“But what about the good things and the good religious people?”
There would still be good things and good people without religion, there just wouldn’t be the manufactured guilt and falsehood of religion.
Alan down in Florida
@SteveDenver: I’m gonna have to agree. I believe in God and science, which is God’s way of revealing his mysteries and miracles to us. I don’t believe in religion or board shorts.
Ian
I grew up in a hard core Christian household in the 80s when Anita Bryant & her ilk were spouting their version of biblical “truths”. While it’s true the bible says man shall not lie w a man the way he would w a woman, nearby it says you also shouldn’t wear mixed fibers such as wool & linen. The picked and chosen verses spouted at every public event on boards that say god hates fags are chosen pre-interpreted by PEOPLE with an agenda. I grew up hating myself and abandoned my religion because of it. Then on a trip to El Salvador hosted by a youth group, I found out the youth pastor was gay and so was a pastor we met down there. I watched for the bible tells me so and really learned that I could come home to my religion of upbringing where I felt at home despite the pain as long as I found the right church. Little did I know it was the one my parents had already switched to. Finally some of the anti gay rhetoric supported by churches NOT knowing the bible they claim to profess are slowly being replaced w more loving congregations who actually aspire to do like Jesus did and include everyone. I hope we keep heading this way because I finally feel the love I missed so much growing up. I don’t like seeing religion being blamed when all this time it’s been the people around us and the way they read the bible, not the bible itself that has excluded us. I fear it’s too little too late and too many gays won’t even give it a chance for the damage that’s already done.
mbfmark
So sounds like I’m not alone in believing that “god is imaginary and prayer is superstition” – that’s nice to know. I sure feel for the gay people that try to merge their sexuality and religion, but glad I’m not one of them! Oh, and I have a Bachelor of Arts in Christian Ministries. It was actually from studying the texts in their original languages and finding out that what we have today are not even close to eyewitness accounts, but rather texts written several generations after the supposed facts, and then seriously and purposely altered along the way to fit the growing dogma of the church as it became the official religion of an empire that made me realize what a stack of lies I had been force fed. Belief based on fiction = superstition. Belief based on facts = a path to enlightenment. Why is it religious people have the false belief that they are more moral than believers of science and reason?
eddief
@DarkZephyr: How do you know it’s a kid, or a him?
AtticusBennett
@mbfmark: concur. i studied world religions and theology – and frankly i don’t know how one can do either of those things and NOT become an atheist!!!!
http://lancesrhodes.tumblr.com
here’s a very very sad homosexual who, to appease a bigoted family and church, is rejecting science, rejection all sociological study, and is choosing to believe that he became gay because “he was denied male affection as a kid” and he can pray to have “the spirit of effeminacy” removed from his soul.
or something.
also – he likes to draw images of God that are one step away from a Tom of Finland illustration.
tomtomz
There is a lot that can be said…. but to cut to the chase…. refer to John 3:16, if your heart is in that place… you are saved, if not… GET there,…. standard rules for adultery and orgy stuff are things you will have to justify… Look at the 10 Commandments and the Golden Rule… IF homosexuality were an issue to God… He would have said that, He references monogamy. Paul speaks out about homosexuality and there are some verses in the Old testament that are confusing… from my reading… they are taken out of context or mistranslated. Most traditional church pastors will spout the ages old party line, that is ill-informed. Big churches are a business, they rarely are preaching the Bible…. God wants a personal, one-on-one relationship with each of us… talk to him from your heart, he will respond.
Tom
Mark Stanley Bridges-Music
Gay and Christian are not mutualy exclusive. No more than being left handed is a sign of demonic posesion. http://www.ucc.org/lgbt
Ronald Wei
There are plenty of gay Christians out there who have no problem being gay AND Christian. Typically they are Episcopalians, Methodists, and Lutherans, MCC, and the list goes on … The Christian right do not have a monopoly on the word Christian. Let’s call a spade a spade. #pharisees
Joseph C Landis-Midnight
I guess it is difficult to reconcile a biological reality with a bunch of made up bullshit.
Scott Harrison
Been there
Chris Mommaerts
lol
Rachel R
Some of these are so heartbreaking, and some of them are so great.
David Russo
Good for him! tough expressing yourself while swimming against the current.
Todd Berry
Heartbreaking, for so many…
James Hart
@Ronald Wei: As everyone knows: The only TRUE Christian church is the Roman Catholic Church founded by Jesus Christ. That is written in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. The 10,000 protestant denominations are merely sects founded by heretics.