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Adult performer Drew Valentino recently shared a heartwarming story about his family’s surprising show of support.
“Earlier this year I decided to come out to my family ….again. Although this time about being in the adult movie industry,” he wrote on Instagram. “HUGE relief to find that my entire family supportive and even excited for me. I flew home for Father Day’s and my dad was wearing this shirt.”
The photo showed his father wearing a t-shirt declaring himself as the “proud parent” of an adult video star.
In an interview with the gay adult site The Sword, Valentino said his desire to work in the industry was “an interesting choice because I have a huge family that’s all very close.” Also, he never expected his career to achieve such success so quickly.
“So as my career accelerated, I started to feel more and more guilty when I thought about my family,” he told the site. “I started to realize that I felt this way, not because what I am doing is wrong or unhealthy, but because I was keeping it a secret. Lying was the only part that was wrong or unhealthy.”
He said he felt “terrified” before coming out as gay at age 24 to his dad. His dad had always been a “fit baseball jock”, Valentino wrote on his Twitter. But his father didn’t let toxic masculinity get in the way of their relationship.
His dad responded to his son’s coming out by saying, “I don’t care about who you love. You are my son and that will always come first.”
A few days before telling his father about his secret career, Valentino told his dad “how much I appreciate him as a father and how much his words on that day impacted the rest of my life.” Then, he eventually told his dad about his adult video work and then quickly left his home soon after.
That was in March. When he went home in June for Father’s Day, his father was wearing the “proud parent” shirt.
It’s cool that his father and family reacted so well. There’s nothing shameful about making a living by doing (ahem) hard work, and a family’s support does a lot to increase the happiness and well-being of queer children, no matter their age or profession.
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Chrisk
I’m all for sex positivity but sure not something I could ever do. I’d be mortified if my mother or father ever saw one of my video’s or pics.
Diplomat
I was thinking the same thing. As much as his dad supports him I can’t imagine he’s tuning into any of his films.
Jack
I don’t think porn stars should be ashamed at all for their profession. Good for him and awesome that his parents are ok with it. I just see so much about porn stars having huge issues with drugs, depression, suicide and the “what do I do now” when they want to stop. I hope he stays away from all of that mess.
mateo
I hope I live to see the day that people who work in porn don’t have to feel ashamed of the work that they do. It just seems so ridiculous. Let’s not forget that there was a time–not all that long ago, when you really think of it–when acting itself was a profession which was regarded with disdain from “decent people”. And I think that many of those problems which you mentioned (especially the cycle of drugs/depression/suicide) could very well be linked to all that shaming from others and self-shaming, too. People just need to get over themselves. If they’re not fans of porn, then they don’t have to watch it. It’s the same thing with people who participate in porn. It’s a specialty. If you possess a certain skill or your anatomy has special features by which it lends itself to an erotic treatment, then you should go for it. Isn’t that what a happy and successful career is based on, after all? Taking advantage of one’s talent?
Kangol2
Good for him and great to see he has supportive parents and family members! That’s the way it should be.
bakeembakeem
Hey, what a heartwarming story about a sexy ass dude, nothing like having a big family that loves you much, impeccable pics
SDR94103
“adult video star”
stop with the star crap.
Thad
He’s making a living from it. And apparently enjoying it. That’s fine for me.
I was laughing with Drew.
MISTERJETT
why so bitter, SD? who hurt you?
barryaksarben
I had a terrible experience when I was a young man, I dated a guy after a long term hard break up. I told the guy I wasnt looking for a relationship outside a physical one. He started to show me that I was right not to continue dating him when I very nicely told him I did not want to see him anymore he went nuts and begged for one last Fu** which I stupidly did. He had hidden the very first viideo camera and filmed us without my knowledge. The next day he asked me to stay the week with him which was never going to happen because I lived and worked 6 hours away and had to go home and to work. He became insistant and then told me he had made the recording and he had stolen my address book which I always carried (before cell phones) and was going to send copies to all my family. I told him to go ahead BLUFFIN G. I was out but did not want my mom to see having sex of any kind. But he remained an a**hole and said he would. I told him if he did I would have him arrested for blackmail and extortion but I did call all my family and warned them that if they recieved a tape i the mail that they could open it but they would be watching me have sex. My sisters and mom laughed their asses off and I was so relieved and the asshole never did send them but followed me and stalked me for about 6 months before giving up FINALLY I am glad this guy had a good outcome too
bachy
Omigod what a horrible thing to go through. I, and several people I know, have been stalked and it can be a nightmare. Glad you made it through your ordeal.
white-queer-african
If he is happy and contented AND a huge plus that his family supports him – good for him AND I am happy for him too.
Man About Town
I don’t imagine that t-shirt is exactly a best-seller…
bachy
Sex is one area of my life to which my parents are, and will always remain, uninvited.
ShiningSex
It’s good to have family support, but sorry the porn life isn’t something to celebrate.
Drugs, drinking, NO protection, suicide rates in the industry are nothing to be proud of.
It is sadly the majority of that life. When it’s all gone, what’s left to do? Many aren’t successful because most are discovered and the way people are, it’s never good unless you stay in the “life” as a director or run a company. I’m not being judgmental, just honest. I’ve seen too many become “washed up” and dumped by the industry. Most are not wealthy either. It’s all wonderful until they stop calling for you “to perform”.
mateo
Re./ “NO protection”: I suppose you’ve never heard of PrEP, which reduces the risk of HIV infection by 90%. Why would you just assume that porn studios AREN’T offering PrEP to their actors, or that the actors themselves aren’t already taking it on their own?
Den
Actually, PrEP reduces the chance of seroconversion through sex by 99%. so it is as effective, or more so than condoms. It reduces the chance of seroconversion among IV drug users by around 75%, but most of them are committing suicide in slow motion anyway.
ShiningSex
btw, that ashbury park, NJ outfit is hideous. Girl….NO!
KyleMichelSullivan
Was that really necessary?
cuteguy
His father showing him unconditional love when he came out was beautiful. But the porn thing is something completely different. And the term “star” is reaching to say the least. It’s obvious this writer is a fan and is looking for a freebie.
KyleMichelSullivan
I’m all for de-stigmatizing adult sex work of any kind. It’s the world’s second oldest profession, after hunting. That would help eliminate many of the issues with drug abuse and exploitation.
Too bad we can’t be like Holland, but are a Christo-fascist country run by people who think all sex is dirty.
frapachino
Hard pass. BTW Queerty where is the coverage of the Ricky Martin story?
cuteguy
It’s Queerty, not a legitimate news site. Why would they cover the Ricky Martin getting restraining order against him story when they can give us this nonsense
Cam
Oh look, BarryM, Mario, etc… brought out one of it’s old screenames. (@Frapachino).
The Florida Don’t Say Gay bill goes into law today, so I see you’re DESPERATE to distract from how homophobic and bigoted Republicans are.
Den
What does the restraining order against Martin have to do with this story, fool? What is it with you right wing hetero scumbags? Do any of you actually know how to think like adults?
liberty001
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Bosch
How is this post still here?
Vince
Oh fu#k off with your witch Doctor spam bullshit.
Cam
Hey Queerty, how about pulling these phony spam posts?
IanHunter
Good for him. Good for the great paying job and the family support.
wikidBSTN
There are people who can navigate the pron industry just fine. They are safe and stay away from the drugs and alcohol and they know the difference between sex and love. I hope this guy is one of them. Best of luck.
Den
“His dad had always been a “fit baseball jock”, Valentino wrote on his Twitter. But his father didn’t let toxic masculinity get in the way of their relationship.”
That is quite some assumption on the part of the “journalist” that simply being a fit baseball player is indicative of “toxic masculinity”! Are we all suspect unless we are fey willowy androgynes who avoid physical fitness or a decent physique? What about misogynist twinks, do they get a pass because they are not “jocks”? Toxic masculinity is how you THINK, not whether or which sports you play.