In last week’s Pick of the Twitter, we asked you, cherished Queerty reader, to picture sexuality being a choice and people choosing queerness every single time. It was a hypothetical, of course, but we’ve all known people who believe we’re choosing to be gay and could simply choose to be straight. (These misguided souls are often the same people who say things like “gay lifestyle.”)
Related: His psychoanalyst told him being gay is a choice, and the Internet is outraged
The Southern Poverty Law Center covered the misconception of gayness as a choice in a 2011 roundup of anti-gay myths. “If people are born gay—in the same way that people have no choice as to whether they are black or white—discrimination against gay men and lesbians would be vastly more difficult to justify,” authors Evelyn Schlatter and Robert Steinback wrote at the time, debunking the myths in the SPLC’s Intelligence Report magazine. “Thus, anti-gay forces insist that sexual orientation is a behavior that can be changed, not an immutable characteristic.”
As Schlatter and Steinbeck added, a 2008 study of twins determined that “homosexual behaviour is largely shaped by genetics and random environmental factors,” with the American Psychological Association noting in 1994 that homosexuality is simply not a matter of individual choice.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Anyway, Twitter users have had a field day with the idea of people “choosing” to be gay, and straight men, you’ve been put on notice. Here are some of those Twitter users’ thoughts…
If being gay were a choice I'd still choose to be a raging dyke wouldn't give it up for the world
— Rebecca Benson (She/They) (@RebeccaLBenson) May 14, 2022
If being gay were a choice, Andrew Garfield would have picked it. And so would I, for him.
— jwm (@jackwmackey) January 11, 2022
if being gay were a choice, no woman would stay straight you fools
— jells ? (@JellyStilettos) June 9, 2022
If being gay were a choice, I’d have chosen to be gay way sooner bc I’m having literally so much fun
— Eileen Hanley (@glitterwrists) January 19, 2022
If being gay were a choice I’d choose to be gayer. I’ve not reached Maximum Gay ??.
— Harrison Coffman ?????????????? (@HarrisonCoffman) March 13, 2021
If being gay were a choice I would’ve chosen it instead of having to deal with straight men for the rest of my life holy mother of god
— Haley Brennan (@hmb1021) May 9, 2021
If being gay were a choice, the lesbians would’ve taken over by now
— Liz (@liz_istheworst) August 8, 2020
Related: Gay Twitter tears into Amy Coney Barrett after she implies being gay is a choice
In fairness to Marjorie Taylor Greene, if being gay were a choice, she'd have sent thousands of formerly straight men to tea dances throughout America by now.
— Mrs. Betty Bowers (@BettyBowers) June 1, 2022
my 80 y/o grandmother said "they're not sick, and even if being gay were a choice they don't hurt anybody so why raise a fuss over it" and i remembered why she's my fav relative ?
— 🙂 ? (@Krisantemo) December 26, 2020
You know that even if being gay were a choice it would still not warrant queerphobic violence?
— willing buyer willing sfebe™? (@dr_nxledi) July 8, 2019
If being gay were a choice this critter would still have his head. #ChooseHomo pic.twitter.com/uZ1ZunvezK
— Bobby Reiley (@robertfr69) August 17, 2021
We know being gay isn’t a choice because if it was straight wouldn’t exist
— Austin (@AustinOnTwitter) April 6, 2021
Happy national coming out day. Being gay is not a choice but if it was it would be a good one
— Brian Jordan Alvarez (@brianjoralvarez) October 11, 2020
Hot take:
Being gay isn’t a choice. But if it was how about you let people make their own choice and stfu about it.
— boogie2988, Ceo of Cringe 3WWBB (@Boogie2988) July 28, 2021
Donston
This is a tired “debate” that most queers don’t invest in any longer except for the older variety. Even the majority of homophobic folks don’t genuinely believe sexuality is a “choice”. What they’re typically hinting at is that coming out is a choice, the identifies that you publicly embrace is a choice, who you have relations with and relationships with is (ideally) a choice. They also are sometimes hinting at fluidity or contradictions or the varied nature of the gender, sexual, affection, romantic, emotion, commitment spectrum. But instead of actually talking about that stuff, they broad-stroke people and lean into basic, hateful, anti-gay phrases.
Jon in Canada
The ‘older variety’? Really?
Ageism truly is an ugly thing.
Donston
Not really. There are certain demos that are more likely to lean into certain agendas or movements. It is what it is. The “choice” debate is mostly dead for the 40 demo, even for the homophobes under 40.
stonercharles
older variety? Oh Sweetie ageism truly doesn’t look good on you…
dbmcvey
Just stop digging Donston.
PhillyProud
Just a friendly reminder that without many of the “older variety”, many of the freedoms we enjoy now wouldn’t be as free.
If you read the article, you’d see we’re still being attacked by people like MTG. Trump and trumpanzees were successful at bringing open racism back. You’d be a fool to think they’re not coming after us. Gay republicans are hideous.
MISTERJETT
it’s not a choice, but if it was, i’d choose to be gay.
Terrycloth
I friend told me a girl kept bothering him about me ..saying thinks like he’s cute. Fix me up etc..finally he told me ” I told her you was gay “.I said ” was ? ” ” great should of said he’s Gay .was sounds like I’m not anymore like I tried it once or something “
gregg2010
So if there were a pill you could take and it would turn you straight, would you take it? Boy, I sure wouldn’t!
msfrost
Being LGBT+, is congenital! (developed before birth)
Jack Meoff
congenital
adjective
(of a disease or physical abnormality) present from birth.
“a congenital malformation of the heart”
You may want to rethink that adjective
GayEGO
I was born gay as I remember when I was born which my mother confirmed. I found my mate of 57 years, married 15 years in Massachusetts. We lived the American Dream, retiring and enjoying our lives.
PhillyProud
LOVE this! I always say that my jazz hands were the first to come out of the womb.
MrMichaelJ
Uh, yeah… So a guy could either get laid any time he wants w/a BJ that is the most insane hoover action possible versus fighting tooth and nail, paying for 5 dinners just to get to 2nd base, maybe, w/a dust bunny at best?
JayDub1956
I’m a straight old white man, who will never know, or truly understand, what it is to be gay, but who has always believed that being gay is not a choice. For me, the proof that it is not a choice, but the actual identity of who people are always boiled down to one simple question for me. Who would choose to have a life of ridicule, hatred, and abuse, if that wasn’t truly who they were?
PhillyProud
Very good point! We’ve been saying this for years. But, just like being straight, being gay just IS. It’s a fact of life, biology, and as well as a thing among many animal species. We’re the only animal that chooses to shame people for it.
bachy
I believe that for a percentage of the gay community it is not a choice. But it does seem to me that some degree of choice factors into it for a certain range of sexual types.
I understand that it would be convenient to end discrimination if same-sex attraction were entirely somehow predestined from the womb, like having black or caucasian skin.
But political expediency is not the same thing as a fact. Let’s make sure we’re not selling the Left’s version of propaganda and selective disinformation.
dbmcvey
The people for whom it is a choice would be called “bisexual” or “pansexual.”
Jer
Being attracted to other guys is innate.
Acting on those reflexes, or ignoring them (even fighting them) is a matter of choice.
I know this because I married a woman at age 21. I cared deeply for her. I was loyal to her, and remained that way until she died at the age of 83, on our sixty-third anniversary.
But. I remembered the clause “’til death do us part,” and knew that I was released from abstaining from sex with men. Once I began expressing those feelings, I knew that I was “wired” to be gay.
I am now enjoying a promiscuous gay life with no feeling of guilt.
radiooutmike
Bravo.
JeffBaker
I agree with it being a “choice” to accept and live as who you are. When I was in college (in the early 80s when I was about 20) and had just realized I was Bi (the liking girls thing and being jealous of buff guys fooled me) and it tripped me out. A really good friend who was openly Gay told me that I had a “choice” and didn’t have to be Bi if I didn’t want to. To my surprise, I decided on being, and living, Bisexual. Granted, I was still stuffed in the closet for years, but I dated my share of men and women. I was “out” to my friends but i didn’t really “come out” until I found the man I wanted to marry in 2008!
IvanPH
If being gay is a choice then it’s the correct one.
I’m gay by birth. Proud by Choice.
dbmcvey
Mrs. Betty Bowers is a national treasure!
JJinAus
If gay was a choice, I would choose it readily despite the real hardships I had. If there was a pill to make me straight now or 30 years ago, I wouldn’t take it.
RickHeathen
For all those who would choose to be gay if it were indeed a choice, I can only envy you. You must have had a decent childhood. After having been abused, I couldn’t with honesty say I would choose this. The idea of being left alone in my youth would be so novel that its appeal wouldn’t permit it.
johncp56
First I knew as soon as I knew, i was and only wanted men, came out at 14 and LOL had got given head ? 11-12, those days we even smoked and drank in middle school, omg i,m alive, at 66, yes it is a choice if your Bi if you want a man one day and the lady another,