Poor things

Gay culture has harmed hetero men ‘more than any other group,’ straight blogger laments

Is the acceptance and promotion of LGTBQ culture harming straight men? According to right-wing blogger Ben Bera, the answer is a resounding YES!

“I’m here to talk about how gay rights and the acceptance of gay culture in the mainstream is harming men on a personal level,” Bera writes in a bizarre new op-ed that would almost be comical if he weren’t being serious.

Bera says thanks to the “misguided fury” of the 1960s, gay people have become “intimately entwined with the mainstream,” and that’s harmful to straight men.

How so?

First, it’s turned them vain.

It’s no secret that gay men are obsessed with their looks, Bera says. Over time, this obsession has rubbed off onto straight men, or as he likes to call them “ordinary men.”

“To adopt the daily rituals of moisturizing, waxing, applying fake tan, etc., is crossing the thin line between healthily enhancing one’s self-confidence and being consumed by vanity.”

Then there’s the growing emphasis on fashion.

“The fashion industry is overly populated with women and gay men, this dangerous mix churns out ever more effeminate looking styles and grooming products for men,” Bera warns.

Another harmful impact he claims gay culture has had on straight men is that it’s hurt their ability to bond. Straight men are afraid to have close friendships with other straight men, he claims, for fear of looking gay. As a result, it has put “a giant wedge in their ability to forge genuine friendships.”

“Gay culture has helped to all but destroyed men’s understanding of platonic love,” he writes, “and it’s clear to me why we see so many men today suffering from various forms of depression and anxiety.”

Lastly, Bera says, gay culture gives men “unhealthy sexual appetites.”

“A man having a bit of fun with a cute girl is healthy and natural,” he writes. “Men need to play the field to a degree, but today, men, from their teens onward, are becoming promiscuous to an unhealthy degree.”

Of course, this because they see gay men being promiscuous and so they think it’s OK. Then there’s the mainstream media that’s constantly “talking about the benefits of ‘analingus’ to anal sex.”

Bera adds: “This obsession with constant sexual gratification, exploring ever more degenerate ways to get that gratification, is leading men down a seedy and perverse path. This has all come about through the promotion of the homosexual lifestyle.”

He concludes by writing there are “a few” gay men who he “greatly respects,” but, in general, he believes homosexuality is causing several “societal damage.”

“The embracing of gay culture across the Western world has harmed, more than any other group, heterosexual men.”

Related: Straight guys in gay bathhouses? Yep, it happens! Former employee tells all

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  • Jaxton

    Some of Ben’s points are accurate. Gay male culture has polarized men. Cultures based on segregation tend to do that.

    • Brian

      Straight male culture didn’t already do that? Somehow one side of the polarization gets 0% of the blame? I’m not sure I even understand the premise of this. When were gay and straight men united? When gay men were largely closeted, say, in the 1930s?

    • hithere2

      Precisely – oh how I long for the good ol’ days when straight men accepted gay men without prejudice, the days before gay men viciously decided to splinter off and segregate themselves from our straight brethren.

    • Kangol

      “Segregation” is the result of homophobia; gay may culture didn’t create it. Out gay people have been ostracized for decades. Please open a gay history book, soon!

    • DCguy

      Always fun when another screename of good ole Brian shows up.

    • Jack Meoff

      How are his points at all accurate. Gay and straight men are more unified now than they ever were in previous generations or do you long for the days when straight men went out in groups looking for gay men to bash and kill.

    • PinkoOfTheGange

      All of Ben’s points point to the problem of Ben refusing to take control of his own life and laments a time that never existed.

  • Paco

    Queerty, I’m concerned with some of the websites you visit for content.

  • Christopher

    Check out his site, the comments are horrible, most of the usual crap like, we choose to be day, we are all shallow, blah blah blah…they even have some graphics showing what should be done to transgender folks (killing). Utter disgusting, shows we still have a long ways to go.

    • Christopher

      er gay, not day

    • Doug

      It’s also another one of those closed-minded sites that cherry picks its comments and informs you that your opinion is being “awaiting to be evaluated by moderators.” This is probably the clearest example of gay panic I’ve ever seen. The writer is someone who’s terrified as he’s slowly drawn to the “other side.” I give Ben Vera another year or two and you’ll be able to run into him in a gay bar somewhere.

  • Danny595

    Much of that piece is silly and homophobic. But it ridiculous for Graham Gremore to object to his points about effeminacy and promiscuity, when 99% of Gremore’s posts are dedicated to promoting those very 2 things.

    • Christopher

      That site is crazy scary, articles about preventing women from working, there is even one about why women shouldn’t be policemen…WTF?!? Then there are the ones that straight up call for violence to the Left and Israel. That site is going to be responsible from a wackjob killing some one because it emboldened some one….ugh….

    • niles

      oh you silly troll, we know your stupid and juvenile game by now. Go back to Breitbart and jack off to the impending carnage, you sick fool.

  • Bayonetto

    All these heterosexual tears will keep us young and beautiful for eternity.

    • djinnamon

      I drink it daily to be honest.

  • BitterOldQueen

    He’s giving way too much thought to this.

  • PinkoOfTheGange

    Let’s break this down>
    1. so you want to look hot for the gay guy? If not it is the women you all are spending $ and time to look better. As Cher said “They roll out of bed pull on some baggy jeans, a wrinkled t-shirt, ball cap, and what we are supposed to swoon”?

    2.Platonic love still exist you are just to scared to be called gay to form one, because “that is the worse thing we could do” right?

    3. someone is upset they ain’t getting as much as they want. maybe if you work on 1&2, you will have a more fulfilling life.

  • Me2

    This is either a satire piece or he’s projecting his own personal feelings of inferiority to gay men on to all straight men. His complaint is filled with stereotypes and assumptions. What he needs is a higher dosage of lithium, not a column.

  • Jaxton

    Gay male culture has helped to create a set of rules which are themselves a form of taboo. For example, if you kiss a man, you’re “gay”. If you don’t kiss a man, you’re “not gay”.

    The creation of taboos is interesting. Where I think Ben should go deeper is the role of women in this. Have women helped to create these taboos to mark homosexually-inclined men for destruction?

    The background to this is the negative attitude that women have to male bisexuality. Are women seeking to identify and destroy any idea that her man should have permission to desire men?

    • Tobi

      Aw, Brian, still getting a hard-on over women, I see.

  • crowebobby

    I’ll say he’s onto something here. I remember a social worker/psychologist telling me it would be a shame to cut myself off from half the population — meaning women — but I’ve always regretted it makes it hard for me to be 100% comfortable around many straight men, worrying they’ll be wary of my interest and friendship whether I’m seeing them as sexual beings or not.

    “Another harmful impact he claims gay culture has had on straight men is that it’s hurt their ability to bond. Straight men are afraid to have close friendships with other straight men, he claims, for fear of looking gay. As a result, it has put “a giant wedge in their ability to forge genuine friendships. Gay culture has helped to all but destroyed men’s understanding of platonic love,” he writes, “and it’s clear to me why we see so many men today suffering from various forms of depression and anxiety.”

    • MikeE

      And there I thought it was the fact that from earliest childhood the straight guys were beating the SHIT out of me that made me wary of them.

      Unlike so man guys in Queerty, and so many of its straight-obsessing writers, I have NEVER found the thought of making it with a straight guy in the least bit appealing.

  • Kangol

    A pathetic, homophobic closet case, like so many. It’s like those Catholic bishops who rail against homosexuality and the “damage” it does, yet when you look into their extravagant closets so many of them are queens, it’s ridiculous. Or they’re covering up for pedophilic pals and underlings, showing nothing of the Christian beliefs they claim to uphold. That site Ben Bera’s on, though, is pure nutso. Lots of men who really, really, really fear and hate women.

  • Chris

    And here, ladies and gentlemen, is our latest fragrance for the self-identified heterosexual male whose homophobia knows now bounds. We call it: “essence of stupidity.” But waft it to your nostrils most carefully, too deep a sniff and you’ll be overpowered by its underlying aroma of bull shit.

  • DCguy

    The word “Straight” appears in the headline. As do 98% of the articles by Graham Gremore.

  • Paco

    Just another homophobe proving how fragile his masculinity is. He is crying about not being able to hug his male friends because gays exist.

    • PinkoOfTheGange

      Yes, yes he is. And it is pattetic.

  • Daniel-Reader

    It reads like a girl pretending to be a guy… much like the trolls on here who change screen names so frequently in a desperate bid for attention. The trolls change names but harp on the same things over and over.

  • Gloren

    Oh, jeez louise! The general culture has always been influenced by the gay subculture…always…whether in fashion/make up, or film and theater, literature, pop culture, you name it. Straight men are just as ‘promiscuous’ as gay men, although from what I hear, it’s sometimes a little more difficult for them to be as promiscuous as they’d like to be. Gay men are no more vain than straight men…that has nothing to do with one’s sexuality…that’s a personality trait. It sounds from the article that this Ben Bera is insanely jealous and envious of gay men. And if gay culture has become more mainstream and, as a result, people no longer tolerate the machismo, insensitivity, misogyny, misanthropy, and childishness of the ‘traditional straight male’, then that’s obviously a good thing. That Ben laments that gay men have more sex (promiscuous) and take better care of themselves (vain) speaks to his own envy that he’s not getting enough and simply isn’t as handsome and fit. Oh, the tragedy of it all…and we’re supposed to be the drama queens…pffff

  • Herman75

    Gay rights influenced all men’s rights. The stigmas that were affecting men acting certain ways have diminished somewhat, though not enough for some that still need to utter “no homo”

    But seriously, when you look at how men are much more affectionate towards other men than in the past, that’s a perfect example. Though told a straight guy how they owe some of that freedom to gays that wouldn’t agree. Why would they? They are just doing their thing. Being who they are.

    • Jaxton

      Male homosexual desire was more acceptable before feminism. Feminism created taboos of male-male desire. Today it’s harder for men to express male-male affection in public owing to the taboo that it connotes homosexual desire.

      Ever seen two men holding hands in the non-gay parts of New York? I rest my case.

  • nowliveit

    I commented this on that post:
    First of all, before you condemn in your obviously fearful rant you should know history. The 60s were about societal freedom and all kinds of self-expression to grow outside of a limited societal box and to change the government so that ‘All men are created equal’ becomes more of a reality. Or do you not believe in that intent for this great nation? Change scares controlling people like yourself. One person said you can tell who is which political party by the whether they see the 60s as beneficial or detrimental to the progress of the US. Still holds true from your op-ed.

    More history… Most men were okay with being very close with their friends like hugging, kissing, laying together (in all societies) until the governments stuck their noses in the bedroom to control people in order to divide and conquer politically. Once done, straight men reacted to governmental control by separating themselves from each other. That is each person’s choice. Gay men were declared illegal and undesirables. So, straight men started being not as close with each other while gay men were being hunted for how we are born.

    Second, how utterly arrogant and self-absorbed are you? Just like you blame the horrible influences of vanity, moisturizing, fashion, et al on gay men influencing straight men’s behavior, you forget that everyone is born with free will to choose how they think and how they behave. If you don’t want to blow a man then don’t do it. Pretty simple, eh?

    You are the type that wants to keep the Genie in the bottle at all costs. Blame everyone else. This world is about change. Life is about change. Each person in their lifetime has the option to evolve or devolve or see themselves as a victim to other people’s influences. Your desire to poo-poo the self-expression of a much maligned category of people shows how unbelievably un-self-accepting you must be as a human being. You must feel miserable when around anyone who feels and expresses personal freedom.

    There is an axiom in human interactions for those who take personal responsibility for their own life: “What bothers me about you belongs to me.” You would not have such venom for this unless it is within you. You cannot see something in someone that bothers you unless that same thing is within you bothering you. And people such as yourself spend all of your energy trying to fix, actually control, others rather than looking in the mirror to resolve a problem that squarely lies within yourself. But that takes growing a big pair of balls.

    Or you can remain in the republican camp and continue to hate and despise anyone who does not fit into your dull, old, ‘the past way of life is the only way” square peg of how to do life. Your breed is dying out. Keep kicking and screaming and condemning others. Soon you will be a past statistic relegated to the realm of the southerners who cannot accept we lost the Civil War. The KKK was born out of that. Your kind is born out of that same level of intolerance, hatred and unacceptance that society is changing…and is supposed to.

    Get on board or keep using your personal energy to hate others rather than contribute to something meaningful for the world.

  • Louis

    Dumbass nothing else to add really.

  • Mr-DJ

    Oh Ben, Ben, Ben… where do I even start with you, snowflake? Although, maybe I shouldn’t spend that much time on this. I have so many “Gay” things to do this morning, such as eat breakfast (Quick bowl of cereal), mow the yard (Throw on some paint-stained cargo shorts, no shirt needed – it’s 95° out). So Gay, huh?

    No, I’ll just summarize and say that we can all tell, Mr. “Straight” guy, that your fears are obviously not about inadequacy to impress your womenfolk, but you seem to be rather caught up in impressing other males.

    And if indeed this “new male” has developed as you describe, it is one that women like. So that should be a benefit as opposed to a detriment. Except maybe for those ‘not so comfortable in their own maleness’ – because they seem to be actually seeking validation from other ‘straight’ males.

    A final observation for you, Ben, is to not get so caught up in those stereotypes to start with, and then projecting your resulting assumptions onto others. If there is some sort of problem, it lies with you.

    And finally, be aware that:

    Sex does not equate to Gender,
    Gay does not equate to Effeminate, and
    Straight does not equate to Masculine.

  • GayEGO

    I believe when a man is afraid of gays, science studies have found they fear their own attraction to the same gender, hence the word homophobic. A real straight guy is not affected by a real gay guy, as I, a real gay guy, am not affected by a real straight guy. I worked with straight guys and the ones I liked were more like brothers as I had no bond to them.

  • Artiewhitefox

    Heterosexual is seeking vain ambition. Heterosexual does not know the Bible. Heterosexual cause his own problem being like they were against the gay. He needs to join ISIS people. He would fit right in until they kill him. ? Philippians 2:3 ?King James Bible
    Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

  • OzJosh

    This is just silly, and in so many ways self-evidently wrong. To take just one point, anyone who suggest fashion is becoming “ever more effeminate”, clearly hasn’t been paying attention. They might want to take a look back to the 70s. And they might also want to consider the hyper-masculine fashion trends that have also been sparked by gay men – from the first wave of moustachioed lumberjack clones in the 80s to the most recent wave of mountain-man beards and lumber-sexual attire. There’s actually a good argument to be made that the most masculine fashion trends over the past thirty years were those specifically copied from gay culture.

  • fyredawg

    Apparently he’s torqued that all the tough guys are too scarce to satisfy his voracious eyeball f*cking of the masculine variety. Perhaps Ben needs to spend less time being occupied by a shame based gloryhole and just surrender his fashion needs to Tommy Bahama, the official outfitter of aging straight males.

  • Daniel

    I’m a gay guy here who doesn’t moisturize as a rule, I’m hairy all over my body (don’t wax or shave anything but my face), I’m not obsessed with fashion. Honestly, a lot of people don’t even realize I’m gay until the subject comes up for some reason or other. I’ve also dated (though not exclusively) guys who are similar. I’m not unique by any stretch. If straight guys become more “effeminate” than me, that’s their decision, not anything to do with me.

    I’m sorry but I refuse to be held accountable for the actions of others.

  • JohnAGJ

    I had to laugh when I read this because the first thing I thought of were the Spartans at Thermopylae. These were the elite of Ancient Greece, who sacrificed themselves in what would later be seen as saving Western Civilization from being strangled in its infancy. Yet what were these brave souls doing to prepare themselves for their doom? Why, “exercising naked” and “combing their hair.” You just know that the author of this piece above gets all gooey-eyed over movies like “300” yet probably has never read Herodotus…

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