One twentysomething is seriously disillusioned with the gay dating scene. âSeriously, who said this sh*t was supposed to get better after high school?â he wrote in a recent Reddit post.
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âGuys are f*cking cruel,â he added. âThe first date goes swell, they talk a lot of sweetness to you about how cute you are. Some even blow up your phone texting you. And then thereâs the inevitable flaked date (whether itâs 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc.) that leads to a ghost.â
He went on: âNone of them are ever man enough to just tell you, âHey, I think we should just see other peopleâ or something polite. Like, why are you even putting in the effort to text me if youâre just gonna ghost me anyways? Why waste your own time and mine like that?â
The Redditor lamented that none of his contemporaries want anything serious. âItâs really f*cking weird,â he wrote. âI guess everybody just wants to waste the prime of their lives mindlessly f*cking instead of building meaningful connections. It feels like if you arenât into casual sex, then there is nothing to be gained but disappointment at this stage in life.â
Other Redditors could sympathize. âDating gay men is like pulling teeth. Or not trying to scare away a deer,â said one.
And some said that dating in oneâs 30s is just as hard, if not more. âIf you think itâs gonna get better with age, I hate to be the bearer of bad newsâŚâ wrote one. Added another: â30 here. Dating is WAY harder now. Iâm lucky if I even get a guy to say hello to me.â
âAt least in your 20s, all the older guys want a piece,â one commenter mused. âIn my 30s, youâre kind of in this âtoo old for older guys and not old enough for younger guysâ stage. Lame AF.â
Related: Gay guys share the most embarrassing ways theyâve acted with a crush
Others had advice, though, like the guy who suggested leaving formal dates behind. âI had a great time meeting people through common friends, going out to parties/clubs, through common interest groups at uni, on gap year, travels, etc.â
Another dude advised not wasting oneâs 20s â âor any phase of lifeâ â looking for love. âJust meet guys to have fun and make friends, and maybe, eventually, youâll get to meet someone that you like with similar interests and who enjoys spending a lot of time with you. In my experience, significant people come to your life when youâre not looking for it.â
Our two cents? Weâre certainly not judging those who are more into lust than love. But if everyone could communicate their mindsets and their expectations with their matches â instead of ghosting or putting on pretenses â the dating scene wouldnât be quite so miserable for this Redditor.
Vince
Well, you can definitely tell this is coming from a twenty something even if they didn’t list his age.
WashDrySpin
be careful to discern if you are dating or boning
steve_michaels
No different for the older crowd, even worse. Sex is number one online, no conversation, no dates, and thanks to the internet, everyone always has one eye on the door and one foot out. Don’t get me wrong, still plenty of opportunities to explore, but if anyone (regardless of age) thinks ‘online’ is the way to meet the love of your life – I believe it’s a rare occurrence. Get out of the house, put your phones down, and really meet people. No matter how much ‘easier’ you think online is, it does you a disservice by slowly (or quickly) eroding your ability to interact with someone face to face. Even if bars and night clubs aren’t your ‘thing’, they, at least, give you the opportunity to smile, nod, and hopefully chat with someone face to face —- IF the other person will put their phone down too đ
wellinmysoul
stay home and jack off
JJinAus
Pff. I have a friend who is in his 80s. Walk a yard in his shoes…
Grandolphrz
If you think it’s bad in your 20s. Wait until you get to your 50s.
There’s one thing to be said about masturbation. You certainly don’t have to look your best.