Daddies

Gay director Joel Schumacher has schtupped 10,000 or 20,000 dudes

Joel Schumacher, gay director, gay sex

Joel Schumacher — the 79-year-old gay director behind the gay-ish 1987 vampire flick The Lost Boys and the 1997 nipples-on-the-Batsuit camp-fest Batman & Robin — recently spoke to Vulture about how “making movies is not all blowjobs and sunglasses.”

The interview covers a lot of topics, but those regarding his gay sex life have caught people’s eyes because the internet runs on outrage and lust. In particular, his claim that he has slept with 10,000 to 20,000 guys over his lifetime.

Did we mention that we stan? We totally stan.

Related: WATCH: High-School Jock Gets Dis-“Oriented” In Joel Schumacher’s Short “Man In The Mirror”

Schumacher often jokes, “I’m overpaid, I’m overprivileged, and I’m oversexed,” but he in this interview, he adds, “Most gay men have many partners because it’s not a very ‘no’ culture. I started drinking at 9, smoking at 10, and fooling around sexually when I was 11.”

In high school, he openly dated women while secretly sleeping with men, but he says he’d been interested in older men since his younger years.

“There was a married man in our neighborhood, but we weren’t having missionary-style sex,” Schumacher says. “We were, as we would say now, messing around.” He adds that a lack of education about gay sex gave him no preset expectations of what to do.

Schumacher says he never did sex work nor does he feel as if he was raped, molested or otherwise abused by the older men he slept with.

“There are very seductive children,” he says. “I was one of them. I was very seductive at a very young age. That doesn’t mean that anybody who was older should’ve said yes or just complied, but I feel in my lifetime I’ve always been a very results-oriented person.”

Then, when the interviewer asks Schumacher, “Have you ever guessed the number of partners you’ve had?” Schumacher answers, “It would be in the double-digit thousands, but that is not unusual. 10 or 20 (thousand).”

gay sex, statistics, meme, Hilary Clinton

If that sounds like a lot, remember that in his 1991 book, A View From Above, heterosexual pro-basketball player Wilt Chamberlain claimed to have slept with over 20,000 women by age 55, so Schumacher’s actually an underachiever by that standard.

But let’s do some quick math on that for fun: If Schumacher has been schlepping dudes since age 11 and he’s 79 now, that’s 68 years — 20,000 dudes divided by 68 years equals about 294 dudes a year or roughly six dudes a week … every week … for 68 years.

It seems like a lot of that sluttery likely occurred during Schumacher’s “lost summer” in the Pines of Fire Island when he spent most of his time stoned, on speed and wearing a Speedo.

Schumacher says:

Oh my God, you’re horny all the time. And fortunately, it was quite available. You’re just starving for sex all the time. Every drug, in my mind, was a pathway to sex. So was alcohol. There was an adventure going on, and sex would be the cherry on that sundae.

Now, a lot of gay people are getting married, they’re adopting, or they’re having children. There wasn’t any of that when I was young. If you went into a gay bar and there were 200 men in there, and you said, ‘Okay, who wants to have a little house with a white picket fence, and a dog, and a child, raise your hands,’ or ‘Who wants to get laid tonight?’ The concept of a lovely suburban life or raising children was not a high concept.

While the nuclear family is a fine goal, some of us prefer to stay mutants.