Oooh, girl. Did you take our recommendation yesterday and watch The Tyra Banks Show about gay-for-pay porn stars? As cringe-inducing Ms. Banks’ hosting act is, the segment was entertaining all around, with her television audience of young women being introduced by straight dudes who frolic with other men for cash (plus some straight bartenders who work in gay bars, big whoop). All your questions answered, like: Why not do straight porn? (The money is gay porn is better.) How do you get aroused? (Camera phone pictures and a Viagra.) And of course, there are the naysayers, like former escort Matt Sanchez (hypocrite alert), and Advocate editor Sean Kennedy. Yep, we’ve got video of it all.
While the first clip features nervous Kurt, here’s the more eloquent Aaron, who explains the financials behind gay-for-pay porn, and how he, uh, “readies” himself for work.
And here’s everyone’s favorite former escort Matt Sanchez, who makes the relevant point that these guys might not care about doing porn now, but down the road it could come back to haunt them. Also: Porn “is like naked twister.”
And say what you will about Aaron, but the guy’s got a point: Plenty of negativity toward gay-for-pay porn stars has to do with homophobia, and not because it’s porn.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
The Advocate‘s Sean Kennedy, meanwhile, has a problem with straight guys — who can walk out the door back into their straight world where they aren’t discriminated against — while profiting financially from gay men.
And lastly, do straight guys involved in gay-for-pay porn actually save us from ourselves?
Jon B
I watched this yesterday, and I have to say, the one person I couldn’t stand was Sean Kennedy. If straight guys want to work in our bars, that’s great, if they want to screw other dudes for money, that’s fine, if they want to simply come hang out in a gay club, that’s amazing. The fact that straight guys are comfortable with gay culture isn’t something to scold them for, it’s something to we should sort of embrace. The more comfortable straight men get with gays, the better chance we have to fight for equal rights.
The one thing I would say is that it would be wrong to come into our community to profit and then turn around and attack us behind our backs.
ggreen
Tyra and her Christmas morning “gift giving†or “gift receiving†crap was appalling. While her sexually frustrated audience members ate it up, they almost all have eating disorders and body image problems (that’s why they watch Tyra). Gay for pay female porn performers never get asked such stupid questions. So its all really about male homophobia. Which Tyra stokes.
Darth Paul
@Jon B: Perfect closing remark. All porn ‘actors'(regardless of their orientation or gender) are essentially prostitutes, and that’s completely fine. It’s when they start trying to get political and mouthy that I have a problem; pretty much like with any celeb who thinks they’re entitled to expertise by virtue of their celebrity status.
Gay for Play
I watched it, and the only thing more annoying than Tyrd Blanks was the shrill and embarrassing Sean Kennedy from the Advocate. He went on a classic self-loathing diatribe about how bad porn is, its close association (in his opinion) with drug use and aids… on and on and on. Meanwhile the company that pays his salary owns a porn company and pushed porn stars on its Here! programming. The guys were uniformly young, dumb and full of cum, as most porn actors are, and the audience was clearly anti-gay. All in al, and truly dreary experience. The winning moment? Tyrd Blanks talking about hitting on a straight bartender while at the Abbey, and then condemning straight bartenders for invading a gay men’s “space” by working as bartenders at gay clubs like the Abbey. Gross.
Anthony in Nashville
It’s interesting that so many gay men get a bigger thrill from straight men doing gay sex than real gay men doing the do. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think the gay community accepted gay-for-pay performers until the early 90s. I wonder how we went from the liberation era of the 70s and 80s to preferring straight men for our porn?
Kevin
Please, let’s not trash Tyra. Tyra is very supportive of the LGBT community and matches only Riki Lake in terms of a LGBT supportive talk show host.
I see nothing wrong with straight men making a few bucks off of gay porn consumers. There are a huge number of gay men who fantasize about straight men and millions of dollars spent on “straight guys” websites.
Why do gay men fantasize about straight men? For the same reason anyone covets something they can’t have. And the male species in general seems to go after things that seem hard to get. Also, we were born into a straight world, to straight parents, raised in straight environments, and are surrounded by straights.
What I find odd is how a gay man could not be attracted to straight guys. If the guy’s hot, who cares about his orientation?
Rigato
I think you have to have some balls or be really, really stupid to come out on a TV show and claim yourself as a whore.
“Mommy, isn’t that daddy on the telly?”
“Well…er..”
“What’s gay for pay?”
“Uh…”
It’s fine that you get paid to fuck men and you don’t have an issue with it. Bully for you. We don’t care how the porn industry works, we just whack off to it. Since when do we stop with our hands down our pants and go “Wow, I wonder how the finances work. How do those straight men get it up?”. If you have ever done that, you have some serious issues.
BrianZ
What’s the drama? We don’t have a problem with Sean Penn in Milk, etc so WTF is the issue here? Really girls.
I can only speak for myself but on the occasions when I have watched porn the _LAST_ thing I ever considered was if the people were gay: If it walks like a duck and it f … well you get the point.
Wow today is a laugh a minute up in here! 🙂
blake
@Rigato:
So, you insult porn performers by calling them “whores” but you like using porn?
afrolito
Straight men don’t have repeated sex on camera with other men for a few hundred dollars a scene. Anyone who believes for one minute that these men are “straight”, is a straight up MORON. These men and the studios that promote them are selling a fantasy to self loathing gay men, who are obsessed with “masculinity”.
In all of these gay for pay wars, bisexuality is never discussed as a logical explanation for the behavior of these men. They can self identify as whatever they want, but that doesn’t trump logic and reason with most sane people. Taking it up the ass and sucking cock in dozens of videos is not an upwardly mobile career, especially if you’re still working at SUBWAY. Get fucking real.
I’d love to see the alternative discussion about the huge number of “straight for pay” (openly) gay men doing straight porn. Oops! That actually doesn’t exist.
Bruce
Eh, porn is porn! Gets you off then you found what you’re looking for. I know really the last thing in my mind as I’m watching porn is “is he gay? he seems gay. well if he’s not gay then this isn’t hot” I’m attracted to MEN, not just gay men, not just str8 men, just men I find HOT! If I find a guy who’s hot to watch and is str8 he can have the money i paid for the porn, because he’s hot not because he’s gay or str8.
So to me it’s irrelevant if your gay or str8 as long as the fantasy that is porn is believable and hot.
Tyra should have done a porn industry enquiry about why there are so many condomless porns out there, especially with the rise in STD infections on the rise. That’s what I’m interested in.
Leland Frances
Exactimundo, Afrolito. Bi I will buy, no pun intended, but I will never buy that a guy doing all the things I’ve seen Kurt and Aaron repeatedly do online has no hint of mint in him [along with other things]. A straight guy serving drinks is very different from a “straight” guy servicing another guy. One time for big bucks, maybe, but not a career. To paraphrase Shakespeare, there are more things between a Kinsey 0 and a Kinsey 6 than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Tyra.
Does anyone know if Aaron’s other claim is credible that, if you do the math, he regulary gets paid $10,000 a gay scene?
Lyndon Evans
I can’t believe I did it, but I wrote a short posting on your article on my linksite, “LGBT Rainbow Links” and added a link to this article. Not that I have a problem linking to Queerty, but stooping so low to do a post about the Tyra Banks Show ? What one doesen’t do to get readers. Oh well, life go on (yuck .. patooey)
ggreen
Having these boobs on TV is good for unctuous porn pushers like ChiChi La Rue. It gives gay porn an aura of respectability and longevity that it most certainly doesn’t have. Porn “producers†prey on the young and dumb and use them until they aren’t dumb any more (usually asking for more money or profit participation). The mainstream gay porn biz is controlled by a few ass holes that work with each other blackballing stars that ask for more money or ask to be independent. 10K per scene is for monster dicked tops that can come on command (at that price aren’t likely to be around long). Cheap looking drag supplies cost lots of money and Ms LaRue can’t spare it.
Lester
Very funny post on it here: (NSFW)
http://menofcolor.blogs.com/moc_blog/2009/01/tyraforgayforpay-live-blogging.html
George
I’m glad to see that some straight men feel secure enough about their masculinity to feel comfortable using hair product.
Ed
Again, I don’t really care about actual sexuality of my porn performers – only if they’re hot, and convince me they’re into it. Beyond that, who cares. Didn’t Kinsey say they’re were truly no 0s or 6s? I expected Tyra to be clueless, not in a mean way, but just because that’s her thing. But Sean Kennedy was an awful ‘representative’ of the gay community. He was whiny, brought up issues housewives don’t need to associate with the community, and seemed to actually promote ghetto-izing the gay community.
leschuck
The only possible harm I can think of to gay men would be a false belief in the possibility of bypassing other gay men sexually for a “straight” sex partner in real life. We’ve all seen the craigslist ads by gay men looking to service “str8” men–there’s a desire for gay/straight sex that isn’t likely ever going to be met for ordinary gays. No need to feed that impossible dream with false hope. Other than that–it’s not a big deal.
countervail
Sanchez=Tool literally and figuratively.
http://www.cplsanchez.info
Leland Frances
Uh, Ed, no. Kinsey did NOT say there “were truly no 0s or 6s.”
That’s why they are colloquially referred to as “KINSEY 0s and 6s” [and 1s through 5s]—it was HIS “scale.” Does no one read anymore? Somewhat “bi” himself, it clearly was Kinsey’s joke to label the “exclusively heterosexual” as “zeros.” Though, technically, his research was about sexual experiences NOT attraction. So, by that standard, Kurt and AJ, if one believes they have, in fact, also had sex with women, would be somewhere in-between.
“The Washington Blade” long ago sold one of my favorite t-shirts ever. On the front it said “Kinsey 6.” On the back it read, “Perfect Score.”
Alan down in Florida
1)Having straight bartenders in gay bars makes managerial sense. Almost every gay bar I’ve ever been in with gay bartenders has, at some point, gone through drama from customers over either the bartenders who wouldn’t go out with them or did go out with them (and won’t anymore). Some misguided gay men think a big tip earns them something, much like the straight guy who pays for dinner assumes he’s paid for sex afterward. Having up front straight staff avoids those problems.
2)Not thinking about the orientation of the performers in the porn you’re watching seems like a cop out. Most G4P porn is poorly done and you can tell that the participants are not interacting. If you are turned on by watching sex that could easily be done with a blow up doll why don’t you just watch JO videos.
3)Just as I prefer, for economic reasons, to support gay writers by reading their books as opposed to the latest NY Times best seller by a straight writer on straight subjects, I’d prefer that my spending money for porn find its way into the pockets of gay men. Just because Kurt Wild has no other skills such that he was making sandwiches in Subway, which pays a salary admittedly tough to raise three kids on, I don’t feel the need to spend my money to keep his kids fed. I find his whole (paraphrasing) “I take it up the butt for the fans” and “we keep the gays out of the bars where they can get diseases” to be pure denial.
TheGT
We guess the same things happens when gay men feel they need to be married to women. They can “switch off” and think about someone else.
brandon
number 6- KEVIN said it perfectly .. dont trash tyra.. shes very down for our rights.. and as bad as the advocates lisp was lol.. i can see his point and i can also see the other guys point of views.. its a toss up kinda of argument i guess.. no right and no wrong.. bc either way, your opinion on that subject is going to vary with what kind of person you are, your morals , and what you think is best.. and 5 stars for tyra for getting all of us talking.. her show is great and i think she talks about alot of things most other hosts would never mention.
faghag
The first guy will come out in six months. trust.
sal
u know whats worse than porn???TALK SHOWS LIKE TYRA!!!!!!!!!!
JohnInManhattan
Matt Sanchez is straight?!? Now, THAT’S funny! His friend Randy “freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus Christ” Thomas must have told him that while sitting on his face.
sal
…..talk about exploiting people for your own gain lol
faghag
@sal: what’s with the hate for Tyra?
I think she’s funny.
You guys need to fucking lighten up.
sal
umm “FAGHAG” dont u know what lol means???did u just get a computer sister??ask some one,maybe they can explain it to ya…..lol
jay
I’m almost embarrassed as a gay man that so many gay men are so incredibly, painfully moronic to buy the gay-for-pay crap. No straight man willfully sucks cock, no straight man gets fucked or fucks a guy. Those women looked shocked not because they were homophobic, they were shocked to see so much bullcrap piled together. The first guy(the one ‘married with 3 kids’)is the faggiest thing I’ve ever seen, he stumbled trying to come up with an answer to how he got aroused and said some bull about his fans that no one bought. If you’re bi that’s fine, own to it.
By the way, Tyra might use silly terms but I like the fact that she asks the questions. No one came with a credible, reasonable explanation of how they got aroused.
Sexual orientations are not labels, they’re part of what we are, it’s just that some of us have the balls to own to it and others don’t.
John
I think this is why so much gay porn sucks. There isn’t any real passion behind it.
Of course gay guys love it because straight guys having gay sex somehow makes gay sex seem more acceptable. Self-loathing gay men are so sad.
nikko
What offends me is that gay-for-pay guys claim to be straight when they’re clearly bisexual. And yes I care to know the sexuality of the performers: it deceives me into believing that there are more bi/gay men out there than there actually are.
David Ezell
I think there is a lot of denial on the part of any man who regularly has sex with men and claims to be 100% straight. If being a dad were a hetero seal of approval, there would be a great deal less queers roaming the earth.
On the matter of comparing a straight actor playing gay, as in Milk or Brokeback, I think a distinction has to be made. Those films are drama. When the character in Milk hung himself, he did not really die. He went home and had dinner. When two performers in porn have sex, they really do the act. They may be in pirate costumes or togas for a few moments, but then they actually have intercourse.
One last thing; I understand that many gay men are attracted to heteros…I think it is one of our communities biggest problems. However, I think many of us, me included, are a tad mystified by the conundrum of supposed “straight men” having (excuse the expression) full-blown sex–kissing, oral, anal, orgasms, with other men. I don’t think being gay is just about having a cock in one’s mouth. But that said, how can these guys actually be straight?
AzGaybe
i believe in santa claus & the easter bunny…and i also know people are delusional and big time magic mirror users.
nikko
What offends me is that gay-for-pay guys claim to be straight when they’re clearly bisexual. And yes I care to know the sexuality of the performers: it deceives me into believing that there are more bi/gay men out there than there actually are. Besides, straight performers are so sterile, wooden detached, such a turnoff.
nikko
What offends me is that gay-for-pay guys claim to be straight when they’re clearly bisexual. And yes I care to know the sexuality of the performers: it deceives me into believing that there are more bi/gay men out there than there actually are. Besides, straight performers are so sterile, wooden, detached, such a turnoff.
faghag
@sal: ewwwwwwwww did you just call me sister??? I feel dirty.
please don’t ever call me that again.
ps: all of the guys featured on this show, have some serious sexuality issues.
If you suck a cock and if you take it up the arse(or like to fuck other men up the arse), you are gay or at least bi. Be proud and stop this fucking bullshit, nobody believes you.
BillyBob Thornton
Straight men(men are are not attracted to other men) can and do have sex with other men for many different reasons. The whole “gay4pay” phenoma is not new. Straight men have been having sex with other men for money(or compensation of some kind)for centuries.
Where were the straight female adult performers who have sex with other women?
It’ a big deal because it’s m4m…the source of discomfort, outright homophobia, or other issues.
The one adult actor was absolutely right, it’s homophobia that’s the problem here.
As for me watching porn(which I thoroughly enjoy!), I don’t care or want to know the orientation of the actor. I want the fantasy of two guys who are really into each other. Which is why alot of the amature str8 gay4pay porn is crap! (broke straight boys…yuk)
With that being said, any performer, adult entertainment or mainstream, who takes our money and then turns on us will not get my money anymore after I find out.
The bartenders….just be upfront that you are straight, I will have more respect and tip more freely if I know the bartender is cool with who I am, and still enjoys serving me drinks.
Bar owners who hire straight employess….at the first sign of discomfort, homophobia, etc….fire their ass!! If you don’t and I see or hear of it, I will no longer patronize your business and will tell as many people as I can.
Nancy
Why is it Okay for Straight Female Porn stars to have sex with other women, like they do ALL the time, yet it’s gross for a straight male porn star to sleep with other men? People are such ignorant hypocrites.
afrolito
@Nancy:
Umm….Female pornstars who regularly have sex with other women in porn, aren’t straight either. Many of them even identify as bi, since they seem more comfortable with their sexuality, than their gay4pay male counterparts.
rick
did tyra give her straight boys her all time favorite gift, VASALINE?
Hunky Trog
I note that posters attack The Advocate’s Sean Kennedy and the first porn star, basically, for not butching it up enough. Gee, it’s that sort of internalized homophobia and self-loathing that fuels the gay-for-pay phenomenon. After all, who would want to date another (useless, feminine) fag?
Sean was well-spoken. I agreed with most of his remarks, though it’s impossible for one person to speak for the entire gay community.
I love my blue movies and beat off to the boys regularly. [Sigh.] Though adult films can be a healthy part of sexuality, it’s completely naive to think the porn industry isn’t dangerous and destructive on many levels.
Gotta go…my Kristen Bjorn collection awaits.
The Voice
i think the episode is entertaining and fascinating to a certain point. i can’t stand it that sean kennedy started to politicize and speaking on behalf of the gay community. like when did he get to represent the gay community? and that every gay would feel the same way as he? oh puhleeze.
i think it’s fascinating and endearing that these straight (real or not) guys break their boundaries and work in porn or gay bars (wow how horrible!) why is their “making profit” off of the gays is a bad thing? don’t the gays make profit out of the mainstream people?
sean’s argument is so weak.
The Voice
as for are they straight, gay, or bi. like joy behar would say: “so what? who cares!”
they are performers, not my personal lover. why does it matter?
Alfredo Munoz
It was certainly shameful when a man with a beard remained the passive partner (pathikos) and it was even worse when a man allowed himself to be penetrated by another grown-up man. The Greeks even had a pejorative expression for these people, whom were called kinaidoi. They were the targets of ridicule by the other citizens, especially comedy writers. For example, Aristophanes (c.445-c.380) shows them dressed like women, with a bra, a wig and a gown, and calls them euryprôktoi, “wide asses”.
nikko
Mr. ALFREDDO MUNOS, what is your point, exactly? So the Greeks were wrong about male sex,and….?
sal
@faghag: yes i did ,i thought u are a “faghag” ,next time i will call you brother ,fine??lol
John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)
@Alfredo Munoz:
Right like alexander the great?
John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)
Also, wgy are gay guys so ‘funny’ about porn??
How interesting…
I’d love to do a thesis about that…straight men love porn (respect the posrn stars) but gay men hate porn( really rude/mean about the porn stars..)
Eric
That Sean guy from the Advocate is an ass.
He’s gonna sit on TV and pretend to represent the entire ‘gay community’? Why can’t a hot guy work at a bar regardless of his sexual orientation?
STFU Sean, and go to hell.
Dave
I love how we get to tell other people what their sexual orientation is based on their behaviours. I didn’t realize somebody else’s identity was up for a community vote.
If straight people told a gay guy “no, you had sex with a woman once–you must be bi”, they’d be chewed to pieces.
Believe me, pretty much anyone can get the equipment to function properly long enough to complete the act. When you throw in that porn, behind the scenes, is completely mechanical, staged, artificial, and emotionless, it becomes even easier to imagine a straight guy going through the motions–you’re not really “having sex” with someone so much as you’re going through a series of poses. And with much, much more money as an incentive, it’s easier still.
The fact that we need to second-guess their declared orientations I think says more about us and our needs than it does about them.
Jon
Saying straight guys shouldn’t work in gay bars is equivalent to saying gay guys should not work in straight bars.
I also wonder if people who harbor concerns about straight guys playing gay in porn have problems with separating reality from film. Come on, they are acting! Just like the gay porn stars are acting.
Steve Denver
@Gay for Play: Darling #4, When you wrote “Tyrd Blanks” I laughed like a shrieking freak! I’m going to be laughing about this for ages.
I’ve known a lot of porn puppies, and they usually aren’t the brightest guys. A lot of them “think” they’re going to get into straight porn and make lots of money, but they end up stripping in gay clubs, doing gay escort services, and basically going gay-for-pay because it’s more than they could earn at an hourly job. Kurt got fired from Subway when they found out what he was doing on the side. Married with 3 kids and working at Subway: sounds like prime material for gay porn recruiting. Plus, he gets pounded by some of the biggest “presents” I’ve ever seen anyone receive, and is convincing. He’s a very talented actor.
As for all the rest of it, baloney. Sean Kennedy is beyond naive and uninformed, he’s stupid and laughable.
Steve Denver
@John from England(used to be just John but there are other John’s): A lot of gay men are rude to gay porn stars because it’s bitchy jealous snobbery. But then they go home and log on.
nikko
Acting is one thing, having sex is another.
ryank
My two cents worth. Pornography is selling a fantasy, the men/women are hot…the orgasms go on and on…etc. The fact that a man is gay or not; irrelevent. They are actors doing a job. Similarly I don’t actually care that Arnold Schwarzenegger isn’t actually a terminator robot of the future, or that he doesn’t suffer a the discrimination of terminator robots.
People consume porn, people sell porn. What they do in their private lives is their business, they are only sellng a fantasy.
Jonathan
One more reason why I will not allow the Advocate in my house. Ever.
For thoughtful analysis of what faces LGBT people everywhere, a single line of Dan Savage’s SLOG or Pam’s House Blend, or even — and it grosses me out to say it — Andrew Sullivan’s Daily Dish — is far better than anything some fool from the Advocate has to say.
Cee
You people bashing Tyra need to give it a rest. It’s like you are not happy unless you are bashing someone. You should be thanking her for discussing the kind of topics she does on her show. She is bringing awareness to many. She has supported gays from day one. How dare you attempt to crucify her.
To the guy that was appalled by Tyra’s “gift giving/receiving” comment. You truly need to get a life. You are bent out of shape over something so silly. She wanted to ask the question in a somewhat appropriate manner. It’s daytime TV. You also have to remember although she is very gay friendly, she is still a straight woman. She is not going to ask questions the way a gay man would or the way you want her to. Get over it.
To the guy that said you can manage better with straight bartenders in a gay club because they are less drama. That is so ridiculous. Professionalism has nothing to do with sexual orientation. And there are plenty unprofessional straight bartenders as well. Did you not hear the straight bartender say he lifted his leg up, put his boot on top of the counter and let the customer lick his boot???? How professional is that? He did that for $100 bucks. I’m sure he’s done more.
What’s with all the Sean Kennedy hate? He just spoke his mind like everyone else and he made sense actually. The straight bartenders do not experience the discrimination and neither do the gay for pay. Just because Kurt was fired from Subway? So what? When he is with his girlfriend and three kids no one will bash him for that. No one is calling him a fag. No one is going to attack him for that. The only time he experiences gay discrimination is when someone finds out about the gay porn, but he is living two lives you see, and it’s not the same.
If you think these guys are not taking advantage of the gay community you are silly. They all are. They do what they do because the money is better. Who doesn’t wanna make more money? But like someone else say, hopefully the straight bartenders are not out bashing or being discriminatory after they leave the club.
Last thing I have to say is as a man you cannot continuously have sex with another man and be straight. You are at the very least bisexual. Even Dean Coxx’s so called girlfriend got that one. Gay men have this obsession with straight men. It’s the old “you want what you can’t have.” Trust me that if you have the man, he aint straight. And you didn’t turn him. He already had it embedded in his mind.
I lied, I have more thing to say then I’m finished…LOL Aaron James and his crap about having to take Viagra and and watch straight porn to have sex with other men in porn. Gay porn stars take Viagra all the time, and caverject. You are having sex for a living. That is sexually exhausting. Sometimes you need assistance. But don’t use that as a cop out because you are not comfortable with your sexuality. Aaron James is a very unhappy person and I don’t even know him. You can tell he is very bitter. Even Kurt and Dean were laughing and smiling throughout the show. I didn’t see Aaron barely crack a smile. Obviously has some deep rooted issues he needs to sort out. Should start with being honest with himself.
Tom Bardwell
@Bruce: I totally agree! Tyra should have facilitated a discussion on the appeal of bareback sex (straight and gay) instead of blabbering on about this nonsense. Plus why weren’t there any men of color on that stage (except for Mr. Sanchez?
amanwithanedge
@afrolito: I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU.
Brent
Oh I don’t know, it all seems such a fuss about nothing. I agree with Aaron James- who is it hurting? If these guys want to say they’re straight, who cares? Porn is porn and why does everyone care so much about how they get get aroused to do it or whatever. As long as they are cute guys, I will watch- doesn’t matter to me if they are playing gay or if they’re married or whatever. I love Kurt and Aaron even moreso now, haha.
It’s only guys like Sanchez that disgust me.
Alfredo Munoz
Their Majesties enjoyed a gay evening at the Apollo Theatre and were graciously pleased to allow the director, Mr. Oscar Wilde
( a notorious Irish sodomite), to entertain them.”
Taking turns pawing Lord Alfred Douglas, no doubt – filthy beasts!
What a pity Unki’s great-grandfather wasn’t there to parade the
famous alabaster, family buttocks around – Unki might have been Lord Tallaght today and persona non grata at the Palace for having slipped a length or ten to the Royal Wives of Windsor – Di, Fergie, Ann, Zara, Sarah Chatto… all tasteful alabaster buttocks fanciers!
David R
I watched the show and I’ll tell you… I’m gay and work at a gay bar where the only 3 other bartenders I work with are straight. I see absolutely no problem in this. I think we’ve whined about being accepted all our lives and I truly believe this is a stepping stone towards that. Besides, when we drool over the guys on TV and movies isn’t the concept the same? Straight guy who you can’t have. It only adds to the fantasy.
Karl hanging out at www.gayvolt.com
Wait… the idea of straight guys having gay sex is just hot.. who gives a shit?
Insideguy
THis gay-for-pay topic is as weary as coming-out films. Gay porn stars get lots less than straight guys doing straight porn and certainly far less that female porn stars. Many straight women today have viewed some gay porn and have been aroused by it. Many straight men want lesbian sex acts in their porn.
All these talk shows titillate their audiences with non-traditional sex and gender issues. They are neither supportive of nor against gay sex. It just another ratings ploy on the part of producer. Women who feign shock and awe about gay sex aren’t very realistic in my book.
Straight men playing gay are just pathetic self-loathing cretins. Anything for a buck is the real source of our financial meltdown and this includes the porn industry. Larry Flynt and Joe Francis want a financial bailout now. True it is more publicity stunt than actual reality but I want my sexual fantasies attracted to me and not the amount of dollars they can make from me.
Tyra Banks isn’t dispelling any myths, or exposing the underbelly of male prostituion. She is just saying ooh, look he’s putting his penis in another man’s butt. Why isn’t she doing a show about women who enjoy anal sex? If you want reality TV why not cover real sex?
How many conversations do I have to endure from men saying, “I am not gay but anal sex isn’t the worst thing in the world?”
greybat
@Anthony in Nashville: I have no idea! But the porn (occasionally!)was better then.
Qjersey
Kurt, straight? not unless that boys dates women into wearing strap ons, because boy he seems to love getting pegged on cam. Or maybe he’s gay porn method actor.
And although I didn’t see it in these clips (I didn’t see the show), did anybody bring up the fact that gay-for-pay actors, like Kurt Wild are doing bareback porn?
Alex Sarmiento
I just think that Tyra Banks, her gay friendliness notwithstanding, is fucking insane. Having seen America’s Next Top Model and her eponymous talk show, I think that she’s trying to be the next Oprah, and is failing miserably. ANTM has not produced anyone who can legitimately claim to be among the elite (or sub-elite) active supermodels today. Of course, there is no concrete list of who today’s active supermodels are, but even so, no ANTM veteran has become a “top model” in the true sense of the word. And her talk show, 9 times out of 10, is less about her guests and more about, well, HER.
Anyway, I found it interesting that the only actual gay person on the panel was someone from the Advocate. The rest were all heterosexuals who did/do gay porn. I wish that they could have brought in real gay and real bisexual men who do gay porn to provide a counterpoint. They could have talked about working with straight men, any jealousies (if any), and how the recent trend of hetero-fetish gay porn reflects upon them. They could have brought Matthew Rush, Brent Corrigan, Jake Deckard, Chad Hunt, Caesar, or anyone else.
If Tyra Banks was so bold to facilitate a discussion of straight men in gay porn, what are the chances that she’ll facilitate a discussion of gay men in gay porn? Or lesbians who do porn that isn’t of the Jenna Jameson variety, like “Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels” and “On Our Backs”? Is the concept of gay people who aren’t simply hairdressers or fashionistas or makeup artists or desexualized eunuchs that shocking to people, even in 2009?
Mag Kneetoe
@Alex Sarmiento: Matt Sanchez is gay. He won’t admit it publicly because he thinks he can make a buck off gullible conservatives and self-hating ex-gays, but he is most certainly gay. Andy Towle dated him when he lived in San Jose. They met in a gay bar.
Mateo (aka Excellent-Top NYC) was also a well known rent boy in New York. The bloggers who outed his porn career found his old escort site. It had an audio clip with Sanchez’s voice inviting people to set up dates if they were in the area.
Something else he failed to mention is that his career as a gay sex worker caused such a problem for him because he was still doing it as recently as two years ago. Alan Colmes found an escort ad in a current issue of a gay magazine. And when he called the number guess who answered… That’s right. Sanchez was forced to admit he worked as a gay prostitute when Colmes confronted him with the ad.
Prince7
These guys, every one of them, can rationalize and pretend and talk and talk and talk about being straight; but all that emerges is that they are, every one of them, gay and unable to face it. What hypocrites!
Pragmatist
@Prince7:
You said, “These guys . . . [are] gay and unable to face it. What hypocrites!”
I wouldn’t go *quite* that far. I will say that I have great difficulty believing they’re “straight,” insofar as traditional people traditionally think “straight” means “having no sexual attraction to the same sex.”
I deeply suspect that most repeat “gay for pay” performers are at least bisexual. I suspect this NOT because it’s hard to imagine a straight guy consummating the deal and faking enjoyment. No, I think if a 100% straight guy were appropriately motivated, he’d have no trouble sticking it in (or taking it) without actually enjoying the act. It’s just biology and physics, after all, and ultimately I think the 100% straight man is an exceptionally rare specimen anyway.
Rather, the reason I suspect “gay for pay” performers are bisexual/gay is that it just doesn’t make sense that gay porn would occur — much less appeal! — to them as a career choice. Gay porn work doesn’t pay much. It carries the certainty of lifetime stigma. Also, it can be psychologically damaging. Why would a “straight” guy think to endure all these hardships just for the opportunity to make a measly few grand? It doesn’t add up, no, it just doesn’t.
(By contrast, it’s easier to imagine a gay or bisexual guy accepting this trade. He’s probably seen his fair share of gay porn. He probably enjoys watching it. He probably has a degree of curiosity about the industry. And he’d probably be quite flattered and excited to have thousands of other men viewing him as a sex object.)
As a matter of fact, I’d be much likelier to believe that straight men were engaging in gay *prostitution*. It can pay significantly more, and as long as you live outside the limelight, there’s a good chance nobody will ever know you did it. But porn? That just makes no sense at all.
Thanatis
Am I the only one who gets why gay guys like seeing straight guys getting it down with another homo, or another straight guy for that matter… Let me speak for myself, I for one, would be willing to pay good money to see authentic footage of two real straight, anti-gay, foot ball type jocks getting it on with each other… Why? Because it’s the ultimate revenge for all those years spend through high school hiding who I really was in fear of getting beaten up, or mocked and ridiculed by these asses who thought they were all that in high school and landed up being trailer trash the rest of their live.. Forced into something to pay off bad debt form some kind of substance abuse issue… And you can see if they are not into it, you can see the guy starts gagging, you can see on their faces, and that this is the last place on earth that they would want to be, but have to bec they need the money. Just imagine the kind of face you would pull if you were sticking your tongue in a woman’s…. well, you get the point… (Sorry, I should have stopped at ‘you can see it in there faces’ I apologize for going as far as imagery.)
Its sick and twisted, I know… But it’s my money, there free will…
Jaroslaw
Thanatis – I sure understand what you’re driving at although it is part (an important part) but only part of the picture!
What I want to know is what is all this talk about bisexuality? I would venture to say everyone over 25 years old was taught that a family is mommy & daddy & kids. There was no discussion whatsoever of sexuality outside of this in our growing up years.
It is normal to want to build a nurturing, “safe” relationship with another person and it is very normal to want kids. I love kids and alternately I don’t “hate” women, I’m just not sexually attracted to them.
It is also no mystery to posters on this blog that being Gay is considered very very very negatively by the vast majority of this culture so it is my view that very few people are actually bisexual. They are fooling themselves into thinking they are straight but only are Gay for pay, or it is a passing phase or whatever. This is not to say there are NO people who have a debt, substance problem etc. who are straight and do Gay porn but by and large I would think there are other ways legal and illegal to make money besides Gay porn.
Keith
@Kevin: Re Kevin’s comments:
Here, here! I agree with everything Kevin says.
– Also agree… DON’T TALK TRASH ABOUT TYRA!!!
If anyone has a problem with either Tyra Banks
OR
Thanatis
@Jaroslaw:
When it comes to sexual orientation, individually it’s a very personal feeling. I don’t believe the it’s a decision in anyway. Studies suggest few of us are born straight, or born gay.. Apparently most of us are bi-sexual and pick up our orientation from a very early age. Picking up something form an early age is not a choice… I could go into more detail and argue the genetic statistics, but I think I would be going off point. Again, I can only speak for myself, when I say, that for any amount of money, I could not be sexually attracted to a woman.. Its not something I can chose to be.. But I can however, pretend to enjoy having sex with a woman if money was the driving force… Which brings me to my next point, no one will be wowed by a video of some gay man having sex with a woman for money.. it just doesn’t sell, there is no demand.. As long as there is a group of individuals who are purely attracted to a single gender, there will always be a demand same sex porn, particularly where men are concerned, gay or straight.. The whole straight guy fucking another guy is purely a demand thing, it has nothing to do with the individual.. Whether he is gay/bi pretending to be straight or the real deal, the motivating factor behind it all is he is getting paid.
I would imagine that it would take allot more money to get a straight guy, but I don’t think that’s always the case, but if I’m wrong… then if I were gay or bi and willing to fuck someone on screen, I would try my very best to pretend that it is something I wouldn’t want to do, just so they’d pay me more to do it…
Jaroslaw
Thanatis – thanks for your reply – perhaps I wasn’t clear. I too am not attracted to women and said so. My main focus was that I don’t feel most people are bisexual. Do you agree?
A Minister at a Gay church told me this story when I asked how he could have kids and be Gay. He is very good looking (to me), and when he was 17 a girl gave him a BJ and the thoughts of being Gay went out of his head, he married her, had two kids and the rest is history. After a while, he wasn’t happy and voila! Now we have an out Gay man with kids.
So, it is a personal thing as you say, but I say your “feelings” are greatly influenced by the culture you grew up in, the church you attended etc. The basic feelings of having relationships are common to Gay and Straight – and other things too. I get a real charge when I watch children discover things and learn. When my sister was about 8 months, we brought some snow inside the house. Watching her interact with it, and her amazement that it would melt away into water was just incredible.
But much as I like kids, I’m not going to marry a woman just to get them. She would be terribly unsatisfied and I wouldn’t be fair to myself either.
Buster
I’m a straight guy who was going to watch this on another site and it didn’t work so I came here. I’m only mildly interested and so only watched the first video. The first thing I found VERY WRONG, with Tyra’s presumptions was that if this guy preferred “receiving a gift” she was convinced he was gay and lying.
There’s plenty of real lesbians out there and a lot of them use strap-ons during sex. By her logic that would mean they are straight and lying.
Maybe this guy’s wife fucks him in the ass sometimes – who knows or cares! All in all, I wish that guy articulated himself better. I believe a lot of people are capable of having sex with the gender they prefer less without being traumatized or being bisexual and that doesn’t bring their true sexuality into question. Sexuality is a preference not a mandate.
leschuck
Those who claim “no truly straight man would fuck/come with another man” are ignoring the long history of situational homosexuality among straight men in prisons, on ships, in remote geographic locales, etc.
Now, I’m not saying these particular porn stars are straight. That isn’t clear. But I am saying the claim ‘no straight man can possibly function with another man sexually’ is belied by history. They most certainly can, although few choose to do so.
Eclipse
@Buster: Thank you, straight guy Buster, for being one of the more level-headed commenters on this here queer site.
Most of these comments are simply bi-phobic, which doesn’t surprise me, as part of the LA LGBT community. Gay men are always the first to point fingers at anyone not upholding their ideals of sexual orientation, forgetting that B is part of the acronym as well.
Stephen
I wanted to respond to a couple of random comments.
I have know gay men did straight porn. This was before Viagra. That’s why they had “fluffers”.
Why do we assume that just because someone likes to have something shoved up their ass, they’re gay? If it’s pleasurable to a gay man, isn’t it the same for a straight man? I had a very dear female friend who used to keep a dildo around, not for herself, but for her many male partners.
ConcreteN
so, i dont know if this has been said…but does anyone else remember Aaron from True Life “Im a Porn Star” a few years back?
Pragmatist
@leschuck: I’m not ignoring situational homosexuality. I’m fully aware of it. But I would maintain, and always have maintained, that a person who once enjoyed situational homosexuality cannot defensibly be called “truly straight.”
Pragmatist
@Jaroslaw:
You wrote, “It is also no mystery to posters on this blog that being Gay is considered very very very negatively by the vast majority of this culture so it is my view that very few people are actually bisexual.”
What is the connection between these thoughts? It seems an almost total non sequitur.
I believe there are many, many, many bisexuals. In fact, I think bisexuals represent a *majority* of the population, at least if “bisexual” is defined as a person’s having the capacity for sexual attraction to both sexes.
Perhaps you meant to suggest that some gays or lesbians pretend to be bisexual so as to take advantage of a perceived greater acceptance among the general population. (I do think that’s a false perception; I think mainstream society rains down harder judgment on bisexuals than it does gays and lesbians.) If so, you may be right that some people do that. But please don’t run around touting the bi-phobic conclusion that bisexuality is a cover for closeted homosexuality. That’s just offensive.
GENE
Aaron James is anything but straight and even admitted that he is attracted to guys and considers himself straight until Mr. Right comes along. This is what he said on his MySpace page.
“SO ALOT OF YOU HAVE BEEN EMAILING ME AND ASKING ME IF I AM STRAIGHT. AS OF RIGHT NOW I AM STRAIGHT. THE TWIST ON MY STORY IS THAT I AM ATTRACTED VERY MUCH TO CERTAIN MEN. UNFORTUNATELY SO FAR THE MEN I HAVE MET IN MY LIFE THAT I AM ATTRACTED TO LEAD A LIFE STYLE THAT IS A TURN OFF TO ME. I AM VERY HEALTH CONSCIENCE AND ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD OR THE BEST SEX IN THE WORLD ISNT WORTH MY LIFE. WHEN I SEE MEN OR AM APPROACHED BY MEN WHO I SEE DRINKING, DOING DRUGS, AND BOUNCING FROM GUY TO GUY ITS A TURN OFF. PLUS ALOT OF MEN THINK OH AARON IS A PORN STAR SO WE CAN TOUCH AND GRAB AND MILEST HIM ANY WAY WE LIKE AND HE WONT CARE. I AM A PERSON JUST LIKE YOU WHO ENJOYS RESPECT AND PRIVACY. I AM ALL UP FOR PARTYING AND HAVING A GOOD TIME. THERE ARE LINES THOUGH. WHEN SOMEONE STARTS STICKING HIS HANDS IN MY PANTS AND I HAVENT GIVE HIM THE SIGNAL OR VIBES THAT IT IS OK ITS NOT ATTRACTIVE AND A LITTLE OFFENSIVE. EVENTUALLY I WILL MEET A MAN WHO IS ATTRACTIVE, LEADS A RESPONSIBLE LIFE STYLE, AND SHOWS ME RESPECT. UNTIL THEN I AM A STRAIGHT GUY WAITING TO BECOME A BI/GAY GUY. AND PLEASE NO ONE TAKE OFFENSE TO THIS. I HAVE NO PROBLEMS AND HOLD NO GRUDGES AGAINST ANYONE FOR ANYTHING. TO EACH HIS OWN AND I SHOW THE GREATEST AMOUNT OF RESPECT I CAN TO EVERYONE. THERE IS JUST CERTAIN THINGS THAT ATTRACT ME IN LIFE AND THAT IS WHAT I AM TRYING TO EXPLAIN. SO NOW EVERYONE KNOWS WHY MY PROFILE SAYS I AM STRAIGHT. I JUST HAVENT MET THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE YET. DO YOU THINK YOUR THAT PERSON? I WOULD LOVE TO CHAT WITH YOU!!! HIT ME UP AND MAYBE WE WILL HIT IT OFF!!! MUCH LOVE TO ALL MUAH MUAH MUAH!!!”
Pragmatist
@GENE: Wow! That’s the oddest definition of “straight” I’ve ever seen anyone apply (and I’ve seen a few odd ones!)… but whatever floats his boat, I guess. 🙂
Jaroslaw
Pragmatist – Offensive? What planet do you live on? Tons and tons and tons of Gay men have married women for cover, to advance their careers (you’ve never heard the corporate ‘not married by 30 forget a promotion?) etc. (Rock Hudson, James Dean?) – many women are so subjugated by society they just automatically married and had kids – took them years to figure out they were gay? You’re unaware of this? Don’t take my word for it, just read.
Now – who is really bisexual? What would life be like if our culture allowed people to be totally free sexually and other ways? I don’t know. We don’t live there. My comments are based on the society we live in and the cultural norms most of us grew up with and I already stated so.
Wantitall
@Pragmatist:
Thank you! It’s aggravating to hear people chant the myth that bisexual men are either in denial or are liars. I’ve spent 15 years trying to make sense of my attraction to both men and women. I watch both straight and gay porn, and I like every sex act possible between men and women.
If these G4P guys are confused about their sexuality, then it’s no wonder: it can be hard to find support for complex sexuality when so many people insist on “one or the other,” and it hurts to be accused of dishonesty or denial when sharing bisexual thoughts/feelings.
Jaroslaw
Wantitall – read what I wrote. No one is saying there are no Bisexual people. But we have PROOF galore of what I’m saying that people in our society DO have a lot of incentive to hide. I’ve met many many older men at the Gay community center who look like everybody’s nice grandfather – they went into the army, or whatever – some were told by a shrink being Gay was a passing phase, etc. they got married, had kids and now 30 years later they realize they were never straight.
I don’t know how old you are, but things like this may seem unbelievable to you. But they’re true. I can’t believe how awful I used to feel thinking I was damned to hell for being Gay. I can’t say enough that I DO believe there are SOME Bisexual people, but I don’t think it is as many as are claimed. But I will again and have already admitted no one including me knows how many.
Feel better?
leschuck
@Pragmatist:
Do you maintain any self-identified gay man who has ever had sex with a woman is “not truly gay?”
glen s.
The logical person in me knows that sexual arousal and sexual behavior are two different things. So it is entirely possible for both genders to participate in sexual activities without having to be aroused. So yes, there may be gay for pay in reality.
But as a gay man, I want desperately for people to understand homosexuality is no more unusual than heterosexuality.
It becomes a gripe when you hear the terrible stories of LGBT youths who struggle. The tales of youths subjected to rehabilitation centers to address homosexuality – because after all it is a choice, right? The parents of a friend of my thought so. Under this delusion that it is a choice, they kidnapped my friend and forced him into those centers. He committed suicide a year later after “successfully†achieving heterosexuality.
So gay for pay hits that nerve for me – it reinforces those feelings of shame and the idea that gays are really heterosexuals with psychological issues. This talk show really didn’t help anyone.
Pragmatist
@leschuck: It’s hard to say from the way you phrased your question. Did the guy *enjoy* having sex with the woman? I.e., was he sexually attracted to her?
If so, then yes, I would maintain that he is not “truly gay”. He’s bisexual, though possibly he’s a 99.9% men/0.01% women kind of bisexual.
I wouldn’t get in his face and assault his choice of labels, though. Labels are a great source of comfort for some people. From a societal perspective, however, I do think they do more harm than good as they facilitate discrimination and segregation, and as they constrict many people’s perceived range of choices in life.
Pragmatist
@Jaroslaw: Uh, yeah. It’s offensive — REALLY offensive. Because I’m bisexual, happily so, and when you say I don’t exist, well, it’s kind of personal!
You asked what planet I live on. I live on planet Earth. You might be interested to know that the inhabitants of planet Earth have a long and well-documented history of bisexuality. In many ancient civilizations, it was common for men and women to engage in sexual acts (for personal gratification) with both men and women. This didn’t cause a great deal of hand-wringing over what label to apply to the people involved, since it was generally understood that humans had the capacity to seek carnal pleasure in either sex.
In modern times, society has chosen the illusion of a dichotomy between “gay” and “straight.” That dichotomy has been wondrously useful to those who would discriminate and persecute. It’s always easier to judge someone else for his behavior if you’re able to conflate his behavior with his personal identity, and then scoop his entire being into a category. (“He’s THAT kind of person, a GAY, an OTHER. Thank God I’m not one of THOSE.”)
A large body of sexuality research indicates that most people have some degree of attraction to either sex. Quibble over the definitions if you must, but to me, having a degree of attraction to both sexes is the essential trait of bisexuality. Sure, there are preferences. Sure, some women are only attracted to men 3% of the time. Some men are only attracted to other men 3% of the time. However infrequent, the attraction is real — and in the experience of my close friends, a meaningful long-term relationship can come out of the 3% if the stars line up correctly.
You said we have “proof galore” that bisexuality is a cover for closeted homosexuality. The thing is, how have you derived this proof? You cite Rock Hudson, for example. How do you know Rock Hudson was gay (100% homosexual)? Yes, he apparently had sex with men, but how do you know he never enjoyed the company of a woman? You don’t; you’re just assimilating what information you do have into your preexisting ideology, and then claiming it as evidence.
I, personally, know LOTS of bisexuals. Some of us are easier to recognize because we’re somewhat evenly split in our attraction. (I prefer men, but not overwhelmingly so. Put a girl in front of me in a tight blouse, as happened at an important meeting yesterday, and I lose my ability to speak in complete sentences.)
Others don’t seem bisexual on the surface, but are. For example, one of my friends is an otherwise “straight” girl — she’s crazy about men. But one day, she found herself attracted to a particular woman, and the two of them have been together for several years now. She still prefers men 95% of the time, but is having such a good relationship with her girlfriend that she’s never left it.
I also know an otherwise “straight” guy who gets laid a lot, and most definitely enjoys it. But occasionally — once in a blue moon — he gets really turned on by a guy. So far he hasn’t had the courage to sleep with a guy, but he admits he’s occasionally thought of it while masturbating.
Human sexuality is complex stuff.
Wantitall
@Jaroslaw:
Yes, I agree that some/many people might “hide” in a delusion of bisexuality. I know I have my delusions, like spending with credit cards to pretend that I’m not broke.
But we don’t know how to distinguish the deluded from the “genuine” bisexual people.
And all these terms are so insufficient, since we have to account for behavior, desire, pleasure, opportunity, etc.
If somebody says that s/he is bisexual, then I take his or her word for it. It’s too presumptuous to second guess them, and implying that they are dishonest or delusional probably alarms them and makes it harder for them to figure it out. And figuring it out could take forever; I’m 29 and the jury is still out. (I’m lucky that I’m not a 60-yo Dad married with four kids.)
My friends constantly tease, mock, or doubt me when I talk about women. Or they act/look skeptical. And I can’t defend myself, because then I just sound desperate or pretentious.
Jaroslaw
Pragmatist – where did I say you didn’t exist? I’ve said at least three times here Bisexuals DO exist. But there is great pressure from society, religion etc. for people to conform and I think many people claim it to avoid the very negative connotation of “gay”. Or is this news to you? I fail to see how the truth is “offensive.”
Yes, all the examples you cite of personal friends are no doubt true but they are anecdotal. I suppose you could say the same about Rock Hudson – but whether Rock ever had the company of a woman is irrelevant to this discussion. The point is that many many folks in Hollywood were presented as straight when they really weren’t to appease the dominant culture. For you to pretend this doesn’t exist is dishonest and/or naive. And the dominant culture, media, movies, literature, religion etc. all has its effect.
Believe it or not, it seems from my reading that only in Western civilizations does one have to choose exclusive homosexuality or heterosexuality. In South America a man can be dominant in Gay sex and not be “gay” according to their culture. I’m aware of all this, but 1. I don’t have time to write a novel every time I post here and 2. We are talking about cultural norms here, how we were raised etc. Protest all you want, it doesn’t change the past. Things are changing, slowly, and sometimes go backwards etc. But in my heart of hearts, I don’t think Bisexuality will be truly accepted and understood until it is OK to be Gay.
Jaroslaw
Wantitall – Of course I would take anyone’s word they are Bisexual. And of course there is no way of knowing who is or is not Bisexual.
I’m not going to re-hash everything I’ve said. People are not reading what I wrote. Nothing I wrote was done with the intention of hurting anyone’s feeling or being untruthful. But apparently that doesn’t count for much.
And while we’re at it, doesn’t this Blog say it is free of an agenda except the GAY one? So, all are welcome, but don’t be so quick to take offense if Gay people have something to say about a particular topic!
Jaroslaw
Last thing – I can’t remember where I read this – PRAGMATIST – but when Stephen Carrington was the long Gay character on TV’s Dynasty – the fan mail indicated they hated it.
BUT….when he drifted towards Bisexuality or sexual ambiguity, the fan mail changed considerably.
This is not a research treatise, but it indicates what I have long thought – being Gay is worse than being Bisexual.
nikko
JAROSLAW, I’m sure its the reverse that’s true, I don’t think gay will be accepted before bisexuality is accepted.
Sidd
@Kevin:
The real question is why do gay men prefer seeing straight guys do it. Say all you want about peeps wanting what they can’t have, the real issue here is that of low self image. (Which of course will be denied.) There’s an unspoken assumption that a straight man is invariable more attractive and desirable than a gay man. Now why do you think that is?
Wantitall
@Jaroslaw:
Hi! No, I’m not offended; I’m just making a general point. Planting my flag. But I hear you.
And now back to the hermaphrodite of my dreams, Mr/s Right.
TANK
Exactly, SIDD. Most everything else is a needless, boring distraction. Back on track.
Tré Xavier
I just recently wound up in an online debate via comments at GayPornTimes.com with WOLF HUDSON. He was supposed to appear on the show. He presented me with a challenged that I wrote a blog entry gladly accepting.
http://www.tresx-rayvision.com/2009/01/to-wolf-hudsons-challenge-i-say.html
Maybe he was offended by my referring to gay-for-pay actors as “gay-for-pay bithces in self-denial”. Who knows? HaHa
Lucas
someone needs to lock sean kennedy back in his office with his porn collection and all of his blow.
anytime he’d like to STOP speaking for us all would be just fine with me.
nikko
SIDD, it’s because straight guys don’t have the effeminate affectation (yuck)that so many gay men have that makes them more sexually desirable. Come on now, you don’t really believe that gay guys only want straight guys because of lack of confidence, do you?!! Sexual desire knows what it wants. It does not leave you in doubt.
Brad
@Sidd:
There are some really interesting themes that emerge from this debate. Not so much the establishment of facts (we can’t really know most of these answers with certainty) but more the contributor’s opinions.
Regarding the issue of bisexuality – I definitely fancy the women I sleep with but wow, the men just leave me breathless! I’m not out to prove that I’m this or that so I use the term Gay as to me it means that I don’t have to justify myself to the rest of the world in my choice of lover. Having said that I’d rather not need to label myself at all.
That said, there is this pernicious theme of ‘self hate’ which is used as the basis for so many arguments on the net in general and here in particular. Sure we all have some elements of shame and uncertainty from all the conditioning that is out there and yes, show me someone who doesn’t ever suffer aspects of low self-image and I’ll show you someone with an intolerable ego.
BUT…. I still fancy straight men the most.
Not because I don’t think I’m good enough, or that gay men aren’t good enough. But for the simple reason that some men just ooze machismo in a way that triggers something in my brainstem – this is chemistry, literally.
Most gay men will agree that gaydar is too uncanny to be an accident; there are characteristics that most gay men have that make them almost instantly recognisable to others … some physical, some behavioural.
When it comes to a really alpha-male type, I’d say that straights outnumber gays ten to one. I think that the brainstem is redirecting fear (of being required to compete) into submissive behaviour (look at all the bonobo research) and for human (predominantly) gay males this is manifested as sexual arousal.
Think about it, the things that drag us back to erotic images time and time again to marvel at a man’s beauty are the male sexual characteristics: brow ridges, strong jaws and cheek bones, strong arms, legs, etc. All signals of vitality and virility.
We submissive types are just doing what we were programmed to do – seek out the alpha male and keep him happy 😉
raskaldog
So many responses to this woman’s program! WOW! BTW, I’ve seen Aaron James, aka: AJ, or just Aaron in this program, in a lot of videos , and he’s very good if he’s acting – I mean very good. On this program he said something about looking at videos or still pix on his cell phone to get himself aroused, but looking at what he’s done in videos, I don’t know how he did that. As many before me have said one way or the other, screw the labels, and who really cares? If the interaction is truly passionate, if the guys seem to be really turned on by each other, that’s most of the battle. I mean whether you’re of one leaning or another or somewhere in between, some people you work with are going to be unappealing and some are going to be appealing, and you’ll respond accordingly. Aaron seems to have a lot of fun from what I’ve seen, and there’s no way he had any cell phone nearby. I don’t know anything about Kurt or the others. So, I’m not going to judge. Who the hell are we to judge anyone, anyhow? Outta here…
raskaldog
BTW, I saw Aaron at collegedudes247 dot com. You might wanna check him out. :0)
raskaldog
@GENE: Aaron claims to be a law student in one of the sample videos he’s in on collegedudes247 dot com, and he sounds pretty bright. So, I’m finding it a little hard to believe he wrote this spiel that’s all in uppercase that GENE posted. The grammar is pretty awful. It doesn’t come across as well thought out or proof read before posting. Personally I don’t care what Aaron’s thing is. He, just like anyone else, deserves respect. He’s also excellent in what he does in front of the camera as far as creating fantasies. There ya go for what it’s worth.
TANK
C’mon, that’s almost as bad as saying that full blown gender roles are biologically based–that sexism is nature, not nurture– when clearly that’s not true. Though there’s some truth to gendered behavior being innate or genetic, that doesn’t translate to gay bashing, or the “alpha males” you see beating their wives, or getting into fights to prove their masculinity. That’s just naive, and it doesn’t quite explain the degree of fetishization that g4p has taken on amongst the fags who require a straight affectation to get them off–a real man that they’ve been conditioned to both fear and revere as the model of masculinity; and that given the prevalence of homophobia, a role they can’t assume no matter how hard they “fake” it. See, it only seems an affectation when applied to gays, but those straights preening, posing and posturing are playing a role just as much as any drag queen. Check the self loathing at the door, please.
grace_kelly_2009
This guy Aaron is NOT straight. He is full of shit if he thinks anyone believes he is
Jaroslaw
Wow Tank, very well said and thought out. I’m going to print it out and keep it at my desk!
GENE
@raskaldog:
That was posted on his myspace page. I’ve read Aaron James’s comments on his collegedudes247 profile page and he doesn’t come across as a very bright person to me.
“Hey College Dudes faithful, its Aaron James. Good news, I just signed a 12-shoot year-long contract to be a College Dudes internet exclusive. This means every month I will be here filming a new and sexy guy on guy scene for you loyal patriots every month! I love the comments you leave and am flattered to have such great fans. You can reach me at [email protected], or hit me up at myspace.com/aaronajjame , or on aim at screen name aaronajjames. Look forward to hearing from you. I will do my best to continuously look better, perform better, and keep you updated on the newest things I am currently doing. Thank you all for your support. Much love. Muah muah muah. Aaron AJ James.”
http://www.collegedudes247.com/meet-the-dudes/AJ.aspx
Prince7
The most fraudulent aspect of these shows about gay for pay is that the interviewer/reporter takes at their word what the interviewees claim, the high wages earned (exaggerated), the good life available (sugar-coated); all exaggerations to sooth one’s own public (in this case, TV) image. As someone who knows the territory intimately–being paid for sex–I can assert that, often, playing “straight” is a pose in order to appeal to those who find “straight” men more desirable. All the times I played that role, I knew that I was gay, often moving from being paid to, immediately after, a mutual encounter, no money involved, without subterfuge.
Instead of “gay for pay,” I would substitute “straight for pay.”
Major Rod
I have to admit, I thought the most attractive guy on there was Matt Sanchez.
The least attractive was the gay writer. He made me cringe.
Stee
It is all porn to me. It is your job and not who you are. In our society we focus on defining ourselves by our job which may not be correct. They entertain us and that is all that is important. Being gay for pay or straight for pay is not an expression of yourself as much as a means to secure a financial future. Porn is a fantasy and not real, we need to understand that. It is make believe and fun to watch because it is so. Nothing about porn reflects realism or true sex between anyone.
Secondly the idea that only gay people can go to gay bars or be bartenders is horrible. I wouldn’t like it if I couldn’t go to straight bars or tend straight bars because I am gay. Many of my straight friends come with me to gay bars and clubs because they are fun and believe it or not many of my straight male friends find girls at them. Straight girls love gay bars and why should they be denied access to a place because of their sexual orientation. Sure it sucks when a bartender is straight and you want to take him home, but many woman find out that in straight bars the hot guy is gay and they have no chance either. This is the USA and we all have a right to be wherever we want. The idea that only certain people can go certain places reminds me of the racist segregation era that we are all trying to move away from. I have no problem being at a gay club with straight men around, in fact I think it’s better because it shows everyone that gay and straight can hangout together and its not a taboo or nasty it’s normal. I am blessed that my straight friends have no problem with me or gay people because why should they. If you are secure in your sexuality then who really gives two shits?
Also people never address the straight for pay porn actors because straight is not as controversial as gay so by focusing on the gay for pay we make being gay a bigger deal than what it truly is, nothing important at all.
Jaroslaw
Stee- I understand your points, but I’m still not going to touch that first paragraph!
Just want to reiterate some points made about straight people not going to Gay bars. Yes, again, I understand your points, but the straight world is what we live in 24 hours a day. I can understand also why some Gays would not want sraights in the bars. It is the one of the few if no the only places we get to be who we are.
Chris
Major Rod = Matt Sanchez
Kuiq
Stee, WOW, you are dumb and self-hating. Haterosexuals can go anywhere and be hatero. Not the case for gay people. Another thing is haterosexuals are trouble-makers; wherever they go they cause problems. I don’t want haterosexuals in gay bars. Gay bars are a place for gay people to be themselves and to not be look down on by the haterosexual overlords. There are plenty of places for haterosexuals to hang out at.
Gay men who watch haterosexual porn stars knowingly are self-hating. They believe that only haterosexual males posess masculinity.
Mhm
Lol.
I agree completely with Jon B. It’s not that big of a deal.
“AHHHHH STRAIGHTS NEED MONEY THE E Z WAY!”
Well… gays get paid the same during those shoots. Gays are also getting money the “e z way”.
It is true, however, straights being comfortable around homosexuals is something to embrace. A straight man has no problem fucking a gay man (Or maybe another straight man) for profit. That’s in and of itself an accomplishment.
Mhm
@Faghag
Your rebuttals are non sequitur and blunt.
You have nothing interesting to say.
“I LIKE TYRA DON’T TALK MEAN ABOUT HER QQ!”
Caleb
LoL You guys! Listen up! I want to dislike gay 4 pay, I do. I want to dislike straight 4 pay douches like Ricky Sinz (especially since, instead of saying “ewwww I managed to get through it without vomiting” like gay 4 pay porn actors say, they rant and rave about how “great pussy is”, so they play into the heterocentric stereotype that women are amazingly better than any men because they possess mystical vaginas (“I don’t understand you mean they actually have an EMPTY CAVITY where there PENIS ought to be? THAT’S INCREDIBLE!”).
but I can’t,
because, look at ancient cultures like Greece, Everybody experimented with everyone else. Sure it may seem impossible to be with a guy or a girl through a sticky page in a magazine but when it’s someone you know and respect and they’re close to you, and you’re kissing them and they’re touching you, you feel something. It’s human nature. Whether it’s straight men with gays or gays with women.
In the future you WILL be able to make out with and play around with the straight boy who broke your heart in high school. Nobody will look down on you, and nobody will look down on him. There are some cultures that already exist wherein a straight man can have a satisfying sexual experience with another man and not be considered gay or anything less than he was. We will have that same acceptance one day, probably inside of 100 years. The only thing that stops us now is the unnatural hatred and disgust for us that has been established by hundreds of years of hateful religious doctrine
Croley
I think adults should be able to do what they want so long as they aren’t hurting or exploiting others. That said, I don’t view the the trend of “straight for pay” as any sort of positive thing for the gay community or for the gay rights movement. If the actors simply shot the scenes and made no mention about their personal lives, then I would be fine with it–who cares, right? But, that’s not what happens. Supposedly “straight” actors are marketed as a hot commodity to self-loathing gay/bisexual men, and that is what I believe bothers most people in the LGBT community. It doesn’t make someone more tolerant or accepting of gay people that some so-called “straight” guy prostitutes himself out for money with other so-called “straight” men. It just makes it seems like there’s something so wrong with gay men that they just wish they could be straight. There are tons of very handsome, well-built, intelligent, sexy and masculine gay and bisexual men, so why market “straight” guys to gay/bisexual men? Answer: It’s a great way to prey on the still too prevalent self-loathing so many gay/bisexual men have about themselves.
I can understand a straight man experimenting once or twice, but if you are regularly having sex with members of the same sex, as these “straight” men are, then you are NOT straight. It doesn’t necessarily make you gay, but you are NOT straight. The money is not that good. If you are a very top porn star, you can expect maybe $3,000 a scene, very rarely $5,000 a scene, but most guys make far less. Also, you don’t have shoots every week, and you may go a long time without work. You would have to be both a top porn star and have to make dozens and dozens of films a year with your income fluctuating greatly during the year. Many of these guys get paid $500 or $1,000 a scene and have to really hustle for work–that’s why so many of them escort on the side, even the “stars.” So spare us all about just doing it for the “easy money.” No, it’s not easy money, not if your trying to make a career out of it. And once you’ve done one or maybe two scenes, it’s not about experimenting either. What’s really going on is that these men are bisexual, and can’t come to terms with it. Fine, they don’t need to to use the word “bisexual,” if they prefer, but they should drop the whole “straight” act, and also ditch the attitude that they are doing some sort of service to the gay community for being willing to have sex for money with men.
If there were any smart pornographers out there, they would stop making crappy, boring, repetitive, and insulting porn films, and start making quality productions. Stop demeaning gay guys with the “straight for pay” marketing, stop showing the same boring camera angles over and over, ditch the cheesy dialogue, and get better lightening. People would pay a lot more than they currently do for really good gay porn.
jason
Porn is voyeurism. Voyeurism isn’t about your experience of sex, it’s about your viewing of sex. If you consume yourself with voyeurism, you’re missing out on the experience.
nikko
Exactly, CROLEY. Somehow, the word BISEXUAL doesn’t exist for most people. What gives?!!
jason
Croley and Niko,
The terms “male bisexual” has been demonized by homophobes as well as by the gay community.
Homophobes hate male bisexuality because, unlike female bisexuality, it doesn’t align with the straight male fetish for bi chicks, phony or otherwise. Also, the male-male erotic interaction is much harder to confine if it’s in the form of the “male bisexual” identity than if it’s in the form of the “gay male” identity.
The gay community also hates male bisexuals. That’s because many gay men are also misogynistic – ie hate women – and are thus repulsed by the notion of a man who swings both ways. How dare you dabble in the revolting sex!!!
Phil
Sean is an idiot! The main reason why gay bars like straight bartenders is obvious: it will be just a job for them. They will not flirt with the customers, have ‘favorites’, much less run off and have interesting ‘breaks’. It just makes good business sense. Also, most of them do not look like . . . Sean!
I have a hard time getting my head around the whole ‘gay for pay’ porn phenomenon, except that these guys are generally better looking and more fun to watch. I can’t think of a single identified-gay performer who is anywhere near as good looking as Aaron James.
Phil
“I can understand a straight man experimenting once or twice, but if you are regularly having sex with members of the same sex, as these “straight” men are, then you are NOT straight. It doesn’t necessarily make you gay, but you are NOT straight. The money is not that good. If you are a very top porn star, you can expect maybe $3,000 a scene, very rarely $5,000 a scene”
Crowly, the guys who do this over and over do so precisely because they make that kind of money. Don’t you think it far more likely that they get addicted to the easy money and become inured to the sex?
Leo
There is one problem with ‘gay for pay’:
it plays into the ‘gay is behavior not orientation’ and ‘you chose to be gay’ fantasies of homophobes.
Its a wonder Mr. I-hate-gays-so-much-I-go-to-the-Folsom-Street-Fair-every-year-I-Just-Can’t-Get-Enough-Chaps-n-Baskets hasn’t used ‘gay for pay’ porn to fight GLBTQ civil rights.
nikko
You’ve got to be kidding , PHIL, cause there are tons of good-looking gay and bisexual performers out there, both past and present. And yes, most gay-for-pay guys ARE bisexual, something that hasn’t even crossed most people’s minds. Silly. And how pathetic and cowardly of both gay fans and the performers themselves deny such a fundamental truth.
nikko
All in all, gay-for-pay is offensive . For one, it’s against your conscience ifyour really straight, which I personally cannot believe is true. Or am unconvinced, that is. It’ deceiving. And the performers themselves may very well be lying to themselves. In real life, such a guy would be denied me from being a possible lover/friend. I just think it’s obvious that most of these guys are probably bi.
andrew7684
yeah some of these queens are complete idiots to actually think REAL straight men will have sex with men money or not. They cant grasp the fact that sexuality is not black or white always and that there are bisexual men. It is a fetish to think that actual straight men can screw other men and its old and stupid so cut it out already and look up the word B I S E X U A L and also CLOSETED TO ONESELF AND OTHERS self denial is not something queens understand because they always “knew” they were gay.
andrew7684
@Caleb: wow your really dumb. straight means straight. the “straight boys” who you are referring to having sex with gay men are called BISEXUAL so get it through your thick gay skull already.
andrew7684
@Mhm: your another fucking idiot. straight men dont like sex with men but BISEXUAL men do. so fuck off already about straight men having sex with other men its old and its bs.
andrew7684
@Stee: porn IS real sex you dumb fuck you need to get your head out of your ass. sex on camera for money is STILL VERY MUCH REAL SEX so stop smoking whatever you are smoking and come back to reality.
andrew7684
@leschuck: what part of bisexual dont you understand you dumb fuck?
andrew7684
@Thanatis: Guys who are “disgusted” by having sex with men on camera for money cannot fake AROUSAL ERECTION AND ORGASM, therefore your straight fantasy is bullshit and these guys are STILL bi or gay regardless of debt because they cant fake enjoyment of sex with men if they are sexually responding to them.
andrew7684
@Jon: having sex is not acting you dumb fuck its REAL… REAL COCKS REAL ASSHOLES REAL ERECTIONS AND REAL ORGASMS … YOU are the one who obviously doesnt know reality from acting you asshole
Joey
EVERYONE SHUT-UP!!!
andrew7684
@Dave: again assholes, it might be sexual “poses” but that is just part of the film direction, it is still REAL SEX continous real sex.
andrew7684
@BillyBob Thornton: asshole you cant have an erection and orgasm without attraction to another man
carlo
I hope someone can tell me something that this episode of Tyra Banks made me think about? Does this mean most men in gay porn are most likely straight? Or am I wrong? I hope to god I’m wrong.
stanley
I completely agree with everything Sean is saying. It’s completely exploitative. They’re only gay when it’s convenient for them but enjoy the privileges of being straight. I’m so sick and tired of all the gay dudes that kiss straight guys’ asses!
stanley
and i couldn’t agree more with #31. As if porn with ACTUAL gay men wasn’t already contrived and generic enough.
Jordy
the most peopple are bisexual and we see this in many porn movies with “straights actors”, if you are 100% straight you cant became any erection also a orgasm. but thats not the problem in the porn business.
porn actors needs more rights and protection in internet. almost all of them dont have a fair salarie and the producers can offering the movies for many years!!! the porn actors from poor countries dont know nothing abaout the rights. many of them are unhappy to see theiers pictures and porn movies in internet for years, fake profiles in facebook, myspace and many pornblogs gratis!!! and we know thats a crime but nothings happends against.
now to many guys all countries needs a job and money, but normaly jobs for a fair salarie dont gives. the have to work for 50 dollars in brasil! and for 800 dollars in the usa! for many years ago famous porn actors in the usa use to work for more than 10.000 us dollars per scene! now fot just a few dollars. thats not fair. they need more rights, fair contract, more protection in internet and personality rights.
cjs33139
@afrolito: Afrolito! What great points you make!! I have also thought that “gay for pay” was either a marketing scheme on behalf of the studios or bisexually oriented men who are afraid to admit they are bisexual. I should know. I have decades of experience with bisexual men, married men; men who obviously love women and sex with women but also love what only a man can provide. I won’t lie to you, Afrolito. I usually pursued bi men because of their personalities, exaggerated masculinity and butchness etc, but I don’t think it was because I am a self hating homo. I just don’t find most feminine flamboyant types sexually attractive (even though I have nothing against them). There are gay men who are just as butch as those bi men I have slept with, but they were harder to bed or encouter, in my experience. 😉 Anway, from my experience with these bi guys, almost all of them started out claiming they were straight and always rationalizing their same sex behavior in many ways: ” Men suck cock better than women, men have tighter orifices, men put out a lot more than women, you can rough up a man in bed more than you’d do a woman, bottoms like to be dominated more than a woman, the things I’d do to a man, i wouldn’t dare do with my precious wifey, as long as I am the top, I am heterosexual, as long as I don’t kiss, I am not gay/bi ” (little do they know, there are many gay men who don’t kiss strangers), and the list can go on and on! Years later, they come to the realization that they were confused and now identified as bisexual. Afrolito… the reason some people on here don’t seem to take into account the issue of bisexuality is that most gays don’t believe that it exists. Trust me guys. There are people, both male and female, who find both sexes sexually attractive. Most gays see bisexuals as either in-denial gays or confused, which they are not. Oh, and having lived in Miami for a long time, a lot of latino “straight” men who have sex with men consider themselves straight as long as they don’t get fucked or suck a cock… because that would be considered “womanly” … meaning, GAY. It’s truly a fucked up sexist homophobic way of thinking… ugh. Afrolito, there are a lot of gay men who love straight men or hyper masculine men, so there will always be a market for those “straight” types in porn. Maybe the porn industry shouldn’t lie to us by telling us they are straight when they are not. It just perpetuates the idea that being gay is a negative thing and that being a feminine gay guy is something undesirable or unsexy (FYI, there ARE gay men that find feminine gay guys sexually appealing, so it’s all about personal preference). I guess that’s why twink porn sells as well. 🙂 Afrolito, there is a market for every gay guy out there. 🙂 By the way, another good point you have is the number of “straight for pay” GAY actors out there… ZERO!!
Drew
@leschuck: @Jon: That’s why there is a term called BISEXUAL you dipshit
mithila
im gay boy Sri lanka. i like black american big cock boys meet and sex.
Gesticulation
Personally, i’m not a fan. The whole gay-for-pay industry perpetuated the notion that homosexuality is a choice, and I think this error in perception needs to be eradicated as soon as possible. The more people consider it a choice, the more ammunition they have against us to say that they can restrict, or even remove rights because of something they think we choose.
On another note, I seriously doubt that anyone doing gay porn is straight. But I could be dead wrong. It’s not like i’m some sort of diviner, or mind-reader. However what I will say is that porn exists because smart people said to themselves “Hey, these people are pretty stupid AND they have low self-esteem. How about we lure them in with promise of fame and fortune so we can sell their content to everyone else who was smart enough to avoid the lure.” To this, I may seem contradictory, as I admit, I have my share of porn on my various devices. However, I do make it a point to remove content from individuals who have so evidently proved their heterosexuality. As it happens, you really CAN’T prove your sexuality, because it’s not something that can be measured. Thus the only thing I have to gauge such a quality is their on-screen performances. Since every actor in my porn library has a rather extensive number of homosexual pornographic performances, I am forced to sumize that at the very MOST, they are Bi-sexual. From what I’ve gathered, heterosexual males DO NOT have sex with other males EVEN FOR MONEY. If they do then, are they really as straight as they claim to be?
Perhaps they are, but I bet not. Even so, a heterosexual male who has sex with other males purely intent on the monetary value attached to such acts, in my mind at least, nothing more than a prostitute, attempting to fill personal voids(damaged self-image, dissatisfaction in the disparity of expected monetary status and actual earnings, sexual prowess for the benefit of public approval) by seeking potentially life-threatening opportunities to satisfy that which should not have existed to begin with(ie: a heterosexual’s attraction to men, sexually).
If my sources are correct, porn actors don’t make enough money stand-alone for any sort of respectable living conditions and many of them work illegally as prostitutes or other low-paying job. Most of the real money is in producing anyways.(Or haven’t you noticed the paradigm shift from actors to directors and producers?)
geoge
zmnNmy http://fnYwlOpd2n9t4Vx6A3lbk.com