GAY + GAY = Antichrist

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Perhaps you’ve heard of The Left Behind: the wildly – and disconcertingly – popular book series about the Biblical apocalypse (pictured, looking pretty horrific). No? Well, they’ve sold over 60 million copies. Yeah, scary shit, right?

Like all good 21st Century franchises, the books have transcended media lines into the wonderful world of video games. Now people all over America can fight their own virtual holy war. Yay!

Of course, what would a Christian end of the world game be without an Antichrist? And what would an Antihrist be without a little gayness? Michelle Goldberg writes for New York Magazine:

The novels’ Antichrist is one Nicolae Carpathia, who’s the secretary-general of the United Nations when the Rapture comes (and, incidentally, is the bioengineered son of two gay men). Soon enough, he becomes Global Community Supreme Potentate, masking his diabolical intentions with promises of peace and disarmament.

See? Proof that gay couples can’t raise healthy children. You think things are going swimmingly: little Nicky learns how to walk, then he learns how to read, then – WHAM! – he learns how to raise hell. Literally.