Short answer: not much.
A Reddit user who goes by the name IDontWantToGiveItUp has posted to an advice sub with his seriously first-world problem.
After winning a huge lottery jackpot, he isn’t sure how much of his hard-won cash his parents, who essentially shunned him for being gay as an adolescent, deserve to see.
Hey everyone, I’m was told that I should bring my problem to reddit to see what people have to say. But before I do, I feel the need to say that I know it’s a privileged problem to have and I’m not falling all over the place in tears about it. It’s just emotionally weighing on me.
So! I’m a 29yr old guy and I won the lottery. And it’s enough that I don’t have to work ever again if I don’t want too (over 15m). My plans are to take some finance/business courses over a period of time so I can be smart about investments and be responsible with the money. I am terrible at money management. I want to turn it into more money and hopefully get involved in charity. Altruistic I know, but I have always volunteered and it’s part of me.
My problem? My family, mainly my parents, feel they are entitled to 1/4 of the amount. I offered to pay off their mortgages and give them a little sum but that’s not good enough once they found the total amount. My family and I have a cordial relationship but I moved an hour away to get away from my oppressive mother and distant father. My sisters are nice people but we don’t really have a relationship. The definition of distant white middle class family. Boohoo, I know.
When it comes down to it, I don’t feel like they are entitled to anything and I’m being as generous as I can be (which I never said to them, but retrospectively I guess it’s implied). The conversation got ugly and when my mom said, “we raised you”, I immediately thought about how both my parents didn’t talk to me for 5yrs (ages 15-20), when they found out I was gay. And I almost failed highschool because of it. Is that raising someone? Obviously I have hangups.
How do I explain to them what my plans are again and how it doesn’t involve them? Should I speak to a lawyer about it just in case? I can’t see them suing but money makes people do dumb things. I don’t want to ruin the relationships but I feel like the damage is done. I feel like a lot of people are going to say “Fuck them”.
Many echoed the “fuck them” mentality, citing the borderline child abuse in his formative teenage years.
One commenter had a much more practical suggestion:
Here is my suggestion: figure out how much it cost to raise you from birth to 15 eg room, food, clothes, health care, school fees, etc. Come up with an amount. Take said amount and donate 10 percent to your favorite charity in their name (they get the tax break), take the rest and put it in a trust that they get when they reach retirement age. They took care of you before you could work, so take care of them after they can’t. Of course speak to an attorney about this.
I agree with most other comments that your parents aren’t great but they are still your parents.
You have a full life ahead of you with one of life’s major concerns taken care of. Enjoy your life, do the things that you love, and be inspirational. I now have to go buy a lottery ticket.
What advice would you give him?