reasons why

Gay guys describe why they have paid for sex

Part of destigmatizing sex work is destigmatizing the reasons for seeking it out, and a recent Reddit discussion shows that those reasons are as relatable as they are varied.

“Guys who have paid for sex, why?” a user recently asked on the online forum. “Why not just hook up with guys on Grindr or go to a gay bar?”

Turns out, there are many, many motives. Here are some of the most enlightening responses:

“The advantage over randos from Grindr or bars is that sex workers are professionals who aren’t going to steal from you or hurt you. [They’re] just there to give the service.”

“Because 99% of the time, the guys I find attractive on apps don’t give a sh*t about me.”

Related: 5 essential insights about human nature from a male sex worker

“I never have, but I heard an episode of a podcast where two guys were talking about why they had done it. One was to enact a very specific fantasy that he wanted to go just right. He didn’t want to take any chances. (I seem to recall a superhero outfit and coming in through a window?) The other one did it I think just because he wanted to get f*cked well. Like, he’d had a lot of lousy lays in a row and he only had one night in the city or something, and so he just wanted a professional to f*ck him really well. Those stories changed my perspective on why it’s useful.”

“Never did, but thought about it once. I was going through a long dry spell, between bad dates and running into flakes on apps. Seemed like an easier option than dealing with the fifth rando Grindr dude flaking out. Ultimately didn’t, but I could definitely see the appeal.”

“Started out as a time-saver — demanding career and I couldn’t hang out a bar hoping I’d find my type. Then I found out when I’m paying I can call the action. So with escorts, I can quickly find my type and get a specific kink handled by a professional. Win-win.”

Related: Amsterdam is displaying male sex workers in its red light district windows for this important cause

“I thought about it once. Wanted to lose my virginity once and for all and wanted to be safe. Physically safe — I’m weak and easily overpowered. I didn’t feel safe going to a stranger’s house and wasn’t at a part of my life where I wanted to date.”

“Never did it yet but considering it. Feels like no ones attracted to me.”

“The same reasons you pay for a massage instead of having your boyfriend give you one. The massage therapist is trained, and your boyfriend is just going to rub you and hope for the best. Sometimes you just want no B.S. professional service.”