Itâs generally a good move to be yourself on a first date â unless, of course, your baseline is being rude, inattentive, self-absorbed, emotionally unavailable, and/or hung up on an ex. Then you might wanna spend some self-reflection time, according to the gays who chimed in when a user asked, âWhat makes you guys say, âOh, f*ck no,â on first dates?â
Related: âGay dating in your 20s is miserable.â Thoughts?
Here are some of those dealbreakers, edited for readability:
âMaking fun of other people in a mean, not funny way. Instant boner killer.â
âThey f*cking dip tobacco.â
âI went on a date once with a guy who was wearing a T-shirt with holes in it and very unappealing sweats. Boner killer for sure.â
âNo emotional intelligence or availability is probably the biggest of all red flags.â
âDoesnât like animals at all.â
âBragging about sexual conquests.â
âSpends 90% of the time on his phone.â
âBeing rude to waiters.â
Related: Gay guys reveal the deal breakers that canceled their crushes
âEmotionally stunted. I dated a guy [whose] main emotion was anger.â
âIf they show up wearing a Fortnite shirt.â
âThem talking about themselves for hours without having asked you one thing.â
âWhen he spends more than five minutes talking about his ex.â
â[He] met me for a dinner date wearing pajama bottoms and a t-shirt.â
âHe told me to play Playstation for a couple hours while he finished playing DnD online with his friends.â
djm
Yep, all reasons to be last dates.
Sometimes it’s even before the date. I was chatting with a guy on some generic dating sight. He wanted to talk on the phone and I said I didn’t have time for that until a day or so but we could still use the app. He wanted me email address so he could blurt out his entire life story or something. I declined.
Vince
Yep. On the phone, how they treat waiters, etc. All great reasons.
Anyone want to explain this. Seems to follow up every comment.
Error: User response is missing.
Click the BACK button on your browser and try again.
Bob LaBlah
You noticed it too?
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Soooooo annoying. I took someone’s advice and copy my comments, cause half of them disappear đ
At least they got rid of the bots who infected every thread
RIGay
When I was last on the dating scene, the status item was a pager. I dated a guy who incessantly had to check his pager and run off to find a pay phone. That ended it.
Tombear
When I was a young Marine I dipped Copenhagen tobacco and I never lacked for dates. Some guys loved to deep kiss me when I had a chaw in.
Harley
Ewe. Well I guess if you wanted to put a fresh dog shit in your mouth there would be some guys who would dive in for a piece of that too.
clhs
What does it mean to dip tobacco? I have literally never heard this expression. My inference is that it’s an American thing.
1898
how many decades ago was that?
brahbate
I met a guy in Florida once who not only dipped tobacco, he jerked off with dip juice. I excused myself on the pretense of getting something out of my car and I got the hell out of there! Jesus!
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Ya gotta be careful there I once dated this guy he was really adorable, nice and intelligent. I was the first guy he was ever with and he was completely new to the scene although he professed how much you wanted a long-term relationship. I kind of figured he would want to test the waters with more than one person so I kind of backed off and said I don’t think this would be right for us.
he next dated this guy that I knew they just celebrated their 18 year anniversary
đ
Tombear
Men are all pigs! Thank you Jesus!
Hussain-TheCanadian
Hygiene is very important to me, no yellow teeth, dirty nails, unkept hair, smells bad…. …..yeah no thanks.
Jerry
@harley lmao you beat me to it. So funny
J W G
I pretty much agree with all these reasons except the dipping. I like country boys. A lot of country boys dip. Kind of turns me on. I live in a rural part of the country. Very popular here.
Polaro
When they ask me if I’m generous…
1898
bad or questionable hygiene. long fingernails, especially with dirt under them (and don’t you dare use rural/country as an excuse, my grandpa was a farmer who worked with his hands 12 hours a day and he always kept his nails short and clean)
the new vaping craze is kind of a turn off too
Charlie in Charge
A very sensible list. Sure there are allowances for personal taste, I see a few folks commented on the tobacco issue whereas I wouldn’t write the guy off for a fortnite shirt… well I mean maybe for wearing a t-shirt at all on a first date?
The common thread is:
A) Indications the guy doesn’t care much about himself
B) Indications the guy doesn’t prioritize the person he is sharing the date with
And that is sensible. I can think of many, many times when there was a yellow flag right there in the beginning but the guy was attractive and I so very much needed to be wanted that I looked past it. Mistake.
PauliC
I didnât used to mind dating smokers until I was spending too much time on our dates sitting alone at a table or at a club so they could go outside and have a cigarette. And sometimes the guy didnât have any money to go out but always had $10 for cigarettes. Choices
lawkid15
I agree with most of everything they mentioned in the article. However, I am guilty of one these statements âdoesnât like animals at allâ
Other than that I would be a great catch if I was available LTR for 4 years now.
brahbate
Fungus infested toenails are a deal breaker as well. That’s a treatable thing ….
andrewmpls
Ooooof, being rude to servers is an absolute deal breaker. I won’t even be friends with those kind of people. It’s really not that hard to be nice to strangers, even if they suck at their job. We all have bad days at work sometimes.
ShowMeGuy
Back in the day my mood killer was smoking but as smoking becomes far less fashionable these days I have found that smart phone addiction ends it for me. I’m glad people think they are important and other people need to talk or text them…..but if you can’t ignore your phone for 45 minutes while on a date having dinner….. be gone with yourself.
winemaker
All of these are viable deal breakers when dating. Some might be considered unimportant, depending on the person. As for me, the hygiene thing as well as bad teeth are a few of the most important. Being UNCUT, i was always taught to retract my FORESKIN when i showered or bathed and learned this as a kid and do it to this day and always keep myself clean.. I once met a guy who suggested i get circumcised, I’d just met him and of course he was cut drastically. probably was jealous at me having something he was robbed of as an infant. Any way i told the jerk if he didn’t like me the way I was to hit the road and don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.