You meet all sorts of people between the sheets! A Reddit user recently asked readers of the /askgaybros subreddit for stories of the weirdest things they’ve done with a hookup… and he dutifully shared his own experiences. “Mine is cutting his fingernails,” the OP wrote. “Another contender is helping him create a cast for him to make his own dildo. It did not work.”
Commenters on the post didn’t disappoint. “He recited a wedding vow mid-orgasm,” one said of a past flame. “Threw me off my game, I had to leave.”
Related: Say, what?! Men share the worst and weirdest things they’ve been called in bed
Another commenter had sex with a job applicant. “Interview[ed] him for a job,” he wrote in his response. “He didn’t get it. Good d—k tho.”
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And a different dude joined the mile high club while staying on terra firma: “The guy lived above a flight simulator building that he trained people at, so when I first arrived he took me for a lap around Hawaii in a 737 before we hooked up.”
If you think that sounds like an enviable one-night-stand, though, wait until you read how one commenter lucked out: “Afterwards, he shares with me that he works at a high-end car stereo shop and can install a system in my car for a good price … I go to the stereo shop and he installs a deluxe stereo system into my Miata, FREE OF CHARGE!”
That’s not the only homo pro bono described in the thread, though. One commenter recalled getting an abscess on his toe the day before he met up with a hookup. “When I got there he lanced, drained, and wrapped it for me,” this fella wrote. “He was a paramedic; he enjoyed it.”
Related: Gay Redditor ask “How does straight sex work?” and the replies are out of control
In other cases, it was the Redditor who did the favor. “I hooked up with a guy in the afternoon, and it lasted a lil’ longer than he expected, and he had to get his son from school and needed someone to watch his kid so he could go to work,” one 19-year-old said. “I volunteered.”
The pièce de résistance, though, might be a 400-word story from a commenter whose Grindr contact turned out to be a paramedic stationed at the Eiffel Tower, who suggested that the commenter put on a spare paramedic jacket and pose as a “paramedic intern” so they could have sex at the top of the tower. That was all well and good until a teenage visitor to the Paris attraction passed out.
“I had to pretend to take her vitals,” the commenter shared. “This took like 40 minutes, BTW, and I was like, ‘What the actual f—k am I doing?’” (Don’t worry — the duo had a chance to compare baguettes later.)
GayEGO
After all of these years, I still don’t see the phrase – Rimma Donna!
Taylor
I hooked up with a guy who just wanted to give me a bath…but not a shower…a bath. As though I was a little boy – but not actual little boy…the turn on was me pretending to act like a boy. Playing with a rubber ducky…splashing around and making a mess with all of my toys. But not in a pedo way…the whole turn on was about a grown man acting like a baby…
yaletownman
I’m not sure if it enters the realm of weird but I’ve had two experiences that were definitely on the edge.
Once I was sitting at a bar I used to frequent and a guy came up and just started kissing me. He lifted me up on the bar top and started taking down my pants. I’d of probably stopped him except that the bartender that I was friendly with but had never felt anything sexually from took his arm and raked all the glasses on the bar into a busing bucket then yelled across the bar to the door bouncer and said ‘don’t let anyone else in’ then he proceeded to join in. Both were so hot I just went with it with a pretty packed bar cheering us on. I think it was a set up but I never found out for sure.
Another time I was visiting a horse stable that was owned by a gay couple. It’s was kind of a daddy/son situation. Suddenly they both just pushed me into a horse stall and the young one that was just my type, blonde and pretty, started in on me. His partner just pulled out a camera and started snapping photos while his boyfriend and I did our thing. I never saw them after that but I’ve always felt weird allowing the photos to be taken. I guess it’s good I’ve never been a high profile person where they could have come back to haunt me.