FML to the max

Gay guys share the most embarrassing ways they’ve acted with a crush

It’s hard to keep your cool and say all the right things when you’re around someone who makes your heart flutter — think Simon saying, “I like your boots!” — but some guys’ interactions with their past crushes continue to haunt them years later.

Here are some (minimally edited) horror stories from Reddit users who bravely shared the embarrassing things they’ve said and ways they’ve acted around a crush. Read ‘em and cringe…

Related: Gay Redditors reveal the first time they realized they like men

“I kissed a guy on the forehead. Had no idea what I was doing…”

“I went to a few of his lacrosse games he invited me too, and I dropped him off one night afterwards, and we made out. F*cking great kissing. I was so g*ddamn awkward, I literally didn’t know what to say afterwards, and I PATTED HIM ON HIS HEAD. He said, ‘Did you just pat me on the head?’ Lol, I was full-blown embarrassed.”


“I tossed a squeeze bottle full of chocolate to him and he caught it, but it was COMPLETELY full, and there was a hole in the top, so when he caught it, he inadvertently squeezed it and… he was covered in chocolate. Did I mention we were at work? Yeah, this was at work. Oops! Just so we’re clear, this isn’t a euphemism.”

“Got him some pepperonis as a date gift, because I was nervous.”

“I was in college and had a crush on a guy. It was in theater class, and he asked what I like to do. (I didn’t realize at the time he was flirting with me) and I told him read Edgar Allen Poe. I turned and left, ‘cause what do you say after that? Next time I saw him in class, the handed me a book, the complete works of Edgar Allen Poe.”

Related: Gay guys share their Grindr horror stories

“One time in middle school, I was trying to impress a girl (weird times), and I told her about how you should not try to approach flies from behind if you’re trying to kill them.”

“I looked at your peen when we pee.”

“When we stepped outside at night, he wasn’t wearing a jacket and got real close to me saying how cold he was. My response? ‘Want me to light a match and throw it on you?’ It only took me about two seconds to realize how ridiculous that came out.”